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I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other
stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom
but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!"
And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"
What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this
is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I
hear another question. "Can I come over?"
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could
just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, "No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"
Then I hear the guy say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other
stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!" |
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_______________________
Stephen
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Stephen
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Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the
villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20.
This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50!
However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'
The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant ever again, only monkeys everywhere!
Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
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Stephen
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Hi steone,
All I can see is lots of red crosses ( X ) Can you have another go ?
_______________________
 ' Do unto others as you would be done by'
Now a non-smoker ! 
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Hi Karensun
Hopefully these are visible. let me know if you can not view them
_______________________
Stephen
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Hi Steve,
Nope, still red crosses 
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oooooooops..........what you doing wrong our Steve??
_______________________
' Do unto others as you would be done by'
Now a non-smoker !
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I dont know what is going wrong with the pics but for all my good friends on here............read on
The love story of Ralph and Edna... Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse D irector became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Happy Mental Health D ay!
You can do your bit by remembering to send an email to an unstable friend...
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Stephen
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2008's First Christmas Joke
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honour of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess
something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He
shook them and said, "They're bells."
Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just
what do those symbolise?"
The man replied, "These are Carols."
_______________________
Stephen
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Try opening these pics if you are still having trouble.
_______________________
Stephen
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Stephen
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Oh oh!
No pics..................
You need to save your pics in something like photobucket first, then, you have to post the link to them here in EOS.
Somewhere here on EOS is full instructions for doing that.......................
If at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again!
Edited - AGAIN cos I can't spell, wish I had listened to my English teacher Mr Wilson at Elmwood.....................Hi Mr Wilson!
This message was last edited by FibbyUK on 11/16/2008.
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FibbyUK
One off fee to pay your own La Renta tax (210 Form)
Check out my website:
http://www.payingtaxesinspain210form.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
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Sorry folks about the pics. What i don't understand is that on my page the pics are there. Thats why i dont know when you lot cant see them. Onwards and ever upwards.
_______________________
Stephen
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The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where
the
activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she
needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the
right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and
stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again a
family member grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed
her,and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, 'Hi, Grandma,
you're looking good! How are they treating you?'
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the
nephew..... 'Bastards won't let me fart.'
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WOMEN DRIVERS
Driving this morning on the M25, I looked
over to my right and there was a woman in a brand new
BMW doing 90 miles per hour with her face up close to
her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!
I looked away for a couple of seconds and when I
looked back she was halfway over in my lane still
working on that makeup!
It scared me (and this coming from a bloke....) so
much that I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked
the bacon roll out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten up the
car using my knees against the steering wheel, it
knocked my mobile from my ear, which fell into the
coffee between my legs, causing it to splash and burn
BIG JIM AND THE TWINS, causing me to scream, which
made me drop the cigarette out of my mouth, ruined my
shirt and DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL.
Women Drivers!!!!!!!
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I found this beautiful winter poem and thought it might be a comfort to you. It was to me, and it's very well written.
I felt it really captured my own feelings about winter.
'WINTER'
a poem by
Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre
SHIT, It's Cold !
The End
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_______________________
' Do unto others as you would be done by'
Now a non-smoker !
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