newly single at 40ish and living it up? on the Costa

 My blog has been badly neglected lately, so sorry for long pause, why I hear myself shouting.

Well, my electrical devices have given me alot of grieve . First my freesat box departed this world and I am now without tv, breathe Helen ,you have a computer in the spare room/junk room/newly tidied .So I set it all up by myself and I watch tv on computer , great, nope, speakers fail ,that's ok I have my laptop,nope, safe mode and so I was without my devices but than I breathed ,brought a new mouse and keyboard( yea they broke too) speakers given a day off seemed to work and I am now fully functioned on computer ish. But a lass I am no nearer to satbox conundrum.

had my first bbq of summer , veggie bbq , very nice indeed . Hotmate came round and I did my signature dish for the bbq .At family bbqs we all brought stuff and I always did veggie kebabs., alot of loving goes in them ,I chop ,I marinade them and then skewer them and I love them, now generally no one else did and I mainly ate them myself, so new chapter on my veggie kebabs

Actually pretty good weekend that was.We went to Roman baths and this time I swam in cave like area and caked myself in mud .Oh the skin felt wonderful afterwards. Did not take a towel as would dry on way back to car and would not see anyone ,wrong, there I am in just my tankini and we see the odd car ,wrong, we see 8 cars, oh well no one will know me in the middle of no where, wrong I see someone I know. Though the good thing about seeing her is ,she has told me about a place an hour away where you swim in like an open air cave area which looks fantastic and so will look forward to finding that place with hotmate hopefully.

Than last weekend I had been able to tick something of my to do  list . Yep I had a scuba diving lesson.More details on that to follow.

Well ,been a pretty uneventful week really.

Writers club was super fun this week. We had a new attendee and dare I say I think she had her number one fan in the room (no it was not me) and where we all get comments like , yeah I like it, but, and maybe you could change this. New attendee's writing was , what was his words, oh yea, marvellous , great, not a but in sight . Not sure how I feel about her writing I suppose it is thought provoking and she is quite out spoken, which I like, I may just have to see. Loved the poetry someone brought. Took my Ronda road trip blog, seemed to go down well but my grammar, how bad and I really must proof read before I post.

Had a wonderful dinner on Saturday and today I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom, even the kitchen cupboards got a wipe over and the bathroom wall. I have hotmate to thank for that, not sure why but I was finding it very difficult to vacate my pit this morning and using the excuse of just catching up on an addictive website to stay where I was, I found hotmate seemed to be struggling to get going too and he asked me or I asked him ,I cannot remember what I was going to do today and you know I honestly did not know. I debated asking him to go to roman baths. He was going for a shower and would plan his day after. I laid and pondered , I had no petrol in the car(hope I make it to work tomorrow) my bank balance screams noooo and my apartment is in need of attention.

He returns to inform me he will be proactive today and by this time I had sprung into action and I had started in the kitchen. Got a little bit distracted by a friend waiting for his paint to dry on the car he was working on (not sure how to take the fact he chatted to me while he watched paint drying).

Any how, I was motivated to clean flat and successful I was and I am now sitting in a squeaky clean and clutter free, oh, ok, not quite clutter free but an improved clutter free home.

Off to friends pool to hang out for afternoon, I only have 6 pools of my own to choose from but no I get in my car and drive to theirs but I love there company( not sure they feel the same but they invited me, so they must).

Really must stop burying my head in the sand and get a grip on my life. I have drifted through life, I drifted in school, into college, into job, into relationship and now I am drifting into singleton, drifting into whatever.

So by my next post I hope to have at least made an attempt at lifting my head out of sand.

Ever since I moved to my place, I have been wondering about the 3 block of flats I see from my balcony. They look derelict as no lights are on .And yes I have a handy pair of binoculars (I inherited them from pal who deserted me for the UK, as I am not normally a peeping Tina), So I have studied these blocks for a while  .On my  way home on Saturday, I have a friend staying and her like everybody else who has stayed also showed an interest in the ghost blocks. I say lets go investigate.

We take the turn off I think will be it and drive uo , first we just go up and up until we get to the building I can see, it is a school I think but it is on the top of a hill with only dirt tracks around. We park car and walk up some steps that seem to go to the top. On the top is , how can I describe it, a dirt area and in the middle a over grown roundabout , With no proper roads leading to roundabout. We walk over to other side and wow the view is stunning. I would like a house built there, so isolated (well a school few metres away, shh, it is my dream), and wow just the view right across the costa and the sea, My friend Imagined a hotel , with a spa. yea but the walk to town would kill most guests .

Anyway we leave our dreams there and head to side of school, we see a little path but do not go down , will do that another day.

We head back to car as I surmise, the turning before must be for ghost blocks.

Yep, right turning achieved  we head up and there is a security gate with a security guard, weird for ghost blocks , anyhow I wave my let me in wave and he did (must remember that wave for future ventures ).

We drive in looking like we know where we are going and me thinking I hope my security man is more thorough (I think not as I visited my place before I moved in and it seems my let me in wave worked than)

There were cars parked, hmm, maybe people do live here, we drove round, me trying to figure out where the 3 blocks were and actually this estate is way bigger than I can see and it feels very close together.

We park and wander, but all the areas have gates with security, very impressed with that, however cannot see anything . A lot , no nearly all the flats are empty,

We drive around again and I think I am in front of blocks, so confusing from this side. I can see my flat and it looks huge and the estate next door looks huge too.

We have seen enough and depart, we have not seen a single person, my heard people , only saw one pool, tiny little one, with no sun on it but a nice shape.

Now I am sitting here writing my block today and looking at the blocks and well they look so different , still ghostly, still deserted but now I know that they are secure and the funny thing I am tempted to find out how much they are to rent as the view from some of them must be stunning.

I have  repotted some of my plants and deheaded them, so hopeful they will last the summer.

I also have rejigged my balcony, and so it feels so different, new and ready for the sun.

Bank holiday week , so nice short week, no wait I am working but double time , oh yea , double time

Right that's it for this week, I am still jiving and loving it, still got 1 AND half cats, car passed mot, yippee and lock fixed. My book coming along nicely.

Not much else, so cheerio for another week 

 It seems along time since i wrote my blog, may be it is .

i had a flying visit to UK to check out my dads new place and catch up with an  , what shall i call him, friend i suppose.

I made a bit of a boo boo when i booked my flight to Luton instead of gatwick but after said friend offered to pick me up , i breathed a sigh as getting from luton to my desination would of been tricky to say the least.

I some how managed to have one of my moments of doubt, worry, whatever you call it, remember i never flew for 10 years, any how , it was ridiculous and i packed the morning of leaving, yes a little late but i was hand luggage only and i knew i would buy a few things, so it took me only a few minutes to throw the stuff in. Just about to leave and remembered my Allen Carr book, how to enjoy flying, i know it would take up valuable space but i needed it.

friend  messaged me as he has now realised he got to drive all the way round the M25 and than all the way back to take me to my desination and than all the way back. pretty awesome of him to do this.

I drove to airport and parked with my faithful company i had been parking with for years(yea we parked at airport when we went on the cruises, oh the days of cruises)They have moved to the middle of no where and i had plenty of time to look for them, oh no i have not i only had 3 hours to departure. Well i found them quite easily and no tom tom insight to help. They are hell of alot cheaper for being out in the wilds, so happy with that.

Malaga mega busy, never seen it so busy, even a really long queue to get through security. Flew with monarch and jolly good flight it was

I arrived at Luton airport, walked to passport control, really long queues must of been about 500 people in there. 2 ways to go ,1 to the really long queue, 2nd to really long queue but you had to have a chip on passport to use, i look at my new passport and yea i have a chip, no brainer, chip queue i tag onto. Well queue number 1 flies through but queue number 2 does not, but i stand tall, i am going to use my chip, well more time passes and now number 1 queue is no more and they are moving people from my queue, i move forward and this charming man says to me, you stay there, ok, i thought, than few minutes later tells me to move forward now, nope, i think ,im staying where i am, and i did. What fun the chip way is and when i got through i turned round to see i was the very last person to get through passport control, it was sort of eerie looking at it empty.

I had a mini panic than, not seen him for over a year, right of to face him..It was kind of nice having someone there waiting for you. How cool is Luton a costa coffe right at the arrivals and wow he looked good. I mumbled i was the last one through he rolled his eyes saying he just knew i would be. How nice he is i remember. We walk towards car and recounts how he had stopped at the double yellow lines for a few secs to work out how to get into car park and a car with a camera was filming him, oh dear. I slightly think he may of been debating waiting there , anyhow i offered to pay car parking and he wants to, so he can prove he parked , ok, £11 for an hour, oh my, how expensive is that. I may not curse the icc parking for a pound an hour anymore.

Journey was good and we caught up , but what alot of speed cameras there are now in UK , i do not think i could cope with them.. We had a coffee before he headed back .He gave me an umbrella, sweet as it was raining, though i later realised i left it in the coffee shop, shocking. He offered to take me back to Gatwick later in the week. Yea got the return flight right.

Caught up with family and happy to see him settled and into a routine, oh the routine. But happy

I did do alot of shopping, had my usual omellette from John Lewis,there the best, mcdonalds milkshakes, why Spain do not do them i am not sure. Did not have a kfc, shock, well i got that in Spain now.

As the week progressed so did my hand luggage. On the day of departure i was in a state of panic, i had weighed it and it was 9.9k but without my 2k handbag and it was now fat very fat.

I got to gatwick and thought i would reweigh my bag and nope it had not lost weight on the journey it was still 9.9 but i had a plan. I i brought a magazine and hid my handbag in there. Right now to put it in the unit to see if ok in size, yep, i push , i squeeze, yep it fits, yipee, but than i try and get it out, i pull, i squeeze, i tug it out and fly across with it, but hey it fits.

I put it off no more i go to counter, before he speaks i say, it fits. I know he chuckles i saw you go flying when you got it out, i sigh, now for the weight and whether he makes me put carrier bag on. IT weighs at 15k WHAT i say, i just weighed it and i was sure it was 9.9k, he chuckles again and lifts his hand of the scales, big sigh now as its in weight. Oh i say i have been so stressed, he laughs and said he thought so and thats why he put hand on scales. Funny, very funny. I ask can i check it in, yes for free he says and as i have, he gave me priority boarding,nice but you do not really need it ,if ya not got a bag to place up . I thanked him as he was a jolly nice man considering all the horror stories you here of over weight baggage, and size, He said have a safe trip and you can get ya handbag out of the carrier  now, i giggled but they dont miss a trick.

Off to marks and spencers now to stock up on the goodies, now i was hand luggage free.

I headed for departures and this man asked if i was flying out, yes i said and so he offered me to go through that way, oh it said invited people only. Did i look dodgy or something or maybe i looked so stunning how on earth could i queue with the rest . Either way i entered. only me in there, i placed my stuff on belt, nipped through scanner thingy and within seconds i am standing in south terminal, cool, more shopping time. A mac donalds in departures, so my last milkshake until Christmas, nice, and a wander around the terminal, however did not like or what was it, actually the sales staff were all stood together and i felt , dunno how i felt but i know i never brought any perfume like i normally do in departures and so they missed a sale.

But i did buy a water bag, very nice lady there sold me it and a huge tic tac box, do i like tic tacs, there ok, but hey it was so cute and so the girls at work will all get a tic tac box..

I stumbled forward for my priority boarding, a bit early, very confusing but she let me enter . The flight was hmmm. a nightmare, am i getting old or something as there were 3 hen parties and 1 stag do on flight, yep, noisy . Though the funny thing was the stag do which was average age of hmm 40ish being generous and the hens average age 20ish , yea of course they thought they had a chance.

On a final note when i arrived in Uk i felt i was on holiday , when i landed back in Spain i felt i was home. So if i am thinking of uprooting myself anytime i must remind myself of how i felt.

 well , what a funny week it has been 

some highs and lows . 

The first book club was an interesting mix of people, actually quite enjoyable really. I went with two people and both had written books and i think both will get alot out of it. Me not sure, not sure of what, i say to myself. im just not sure , well i have established i am not sure.

I suppose thats one of the things you miss , is someone to chat to and bounce ideas of  and missy the cat has not been visiting as much lately, probably her owners are in town and well she never really gave me any answers.

Had a good workout lifting boxes , funny how confident entrepreneur type people are capable of getting other people to do manual work and flit in , break elevator , and consequently give us more work of carrying boxes up flights of stairs .,though a new cookery book for my collection was earned.and a few calories burned.

funny, missy has just come in, her owners must of gone now.

A few disapointments to the weekend, which in my frail emotional state i took very badly,but  i know i am strong , this is the life i chose and so kicking and screaming i picked myself up again and headed into the weekend with trepidation.

 It started better than expected with Jive on Friday which  was fab,  a little bit nervous as last week i was the newbie and well people accommodate you but week 2, you should be getting it. And i think i am, the class was a little bit harder but i kept up and i am so working on not leading in fact , one man said its the mans fault if he unable to lead . I danced freestyle with several people including the teacher and well enjoyable.

After class we went into port again and i decided to have a few drinks as it my birthday weekend. I got happy birthday sang to me and the place gave a birthday cocktail, how sweet and way too many drinks brought for me . Meant a very hungover Helen on her birthday.

My wonderful friends had spoilt me yet again and i had loads to open 

Very dodgy tummy all day, not sure if it was the cocktail or the drink either way i headed out for the evening and had the most relaxing time. Spoilt again and the presents were so me, this friend really gets what i like .

Sunday i got up and finally started tackling my spare room/junk room. Though i shifted loads , not thrown, no shifted to lock up ,the room still looks like a tip , well , its a work in progress. 

The sun lounger is out and used today , lovely , there were people around the pool , so a visit to there soon i think.

A busy week ahead for me,. meal out on Monday, yep , another birthday meal with peeps who could not make Saturday.

Tuesday writers club, Wednesday jive , yep jive , i must be keen im going to some extra event being held in Gib, Thursday nope nothing, Friday jive Saturday nope nothing, Sunday off to UK for a few days.

Well I finally went to my first class and very enjoyable it was.

The evening started well by meeting a new friend again, she had came into shop a while ago and we got chatting, I found out she lived very close to me and I gave her my number. Well needless to say I never heard form her, I am the same you get given a number on a piece of paper and than forget all about it. I had just parked my car and she drove up , I mention this because it is just funny how life puts people in your path for a reason and if the first time it does not succeed it tries again and I think this time it has and so we went to jive as newbies together.

I am not sure how I felt , nervous, no not really , I was hoping I would A, not fall over, B, register some of the moves C. be relaxed enough to actually speak. D. have fun.

There were people with partners and people on there own but that did not matter as all the women covered around the outside of a circle and all the men on the inside. Introductions were given and we were off for the first moves, they were mainly experienced and I wonder if he had thought about having beginners and than a more experienced class, as it must of been quite boring for the experienced ones. He showed the first move and off I was jiving, well, in my head anyway.

The evening proceeded and after a few attempts you moved around the circle, very enjoyable. I was given the compliment I had natural rhythm, which I already knew , but I kept getting told, to stop leading which I did not realise I was doing and to relax more .

The interesting thing for me was the leading and yea I suppose I do take control or try to take control of things and so I am looking forward to being able to be led as I think this will help me in my every day life too.

I have an upcoming birthday , the last few years I have chosen to forget them really but this one I thought I would actually organise something but in true Helen style it has gone pair shaped. Though I am not to upset as they are good friends and who am I to stand in way of them having the chance to see there loved ones in UK. So do I go for a plan B or do I actually sit up and read the signs that have been coming my way, not to plan anything and just see what happens and stop worrying and go with the flow.

Writing club starts next Tuesday, I have been some thought to that and wondering what I should take to do. I have started a book about my life the last 2 years however I have wondered whether to do a selfhelp book of sorts or even a saucy fiction, must make a decision soon or may be take all my thoughts and get advice at group , either way should help. It may even help with my blog writing which would help to.

It is raining, funny how upsetting it is to see the rain on a Sunday afternoon, I started this post outside but now I am as is my washing.

A big billboard has disappeared from one of the routes upto my hill side retreat (home), It has upset me, I know very weird , but the thing is when I first came to view this place, the billboard had a name on it, and well I saw it as a sign that this place will be good for me and than when I drove past I saw it had gone and I never took a photo of it . I am thinking of walking down there later and see if it has just blown off and see if I can take a picture of the name.

Well let the birthday week commence, ok, let the birthday month commence.

 I have had a pretty weird weekend . Friday started with a little car jaunt to Malaga, which i am pleased to say i followed the directions and got us there with time to spare. All went well his car passed the mot , we popped to ikea while we waited and i am ashamed to say i forgot a shoe rack a friend wanted ages ago, and i spent nothing, which was good for me. Funny liitle thing is the meatballs are still on the menu, i just knew they would be but i did not partake. I did however have kfc on return home.

Saturday i decided to hoover and wash the car, hence the spitting of rain but decision was made and i forged ahead in giving its first wash in ages. The car wash was next to a 2 petrol pumps, i cannot call it a petrol station as only 2 pumps and no shop, just a man  but the prices must of been good as the whole time i was there the cars were queuing to use the pumps. I have no idea as i never look at prices.

Car washed i headed to mercadona, to do some food shopping which i have neglected lately. I took a leisurely stroll round shop but still managed to fill up more than i needed but all healthy stuff, like fruit and loads of salad stuff, ok, a little tub of ice cream too.

When i got to car i noticed the cover of my lock was gone, think helen, did you see it at car wash, dam , i could not remember, after a quick scour on floor, no sign i headed back to car wash and no sign there, weird. ah well, how annoying i thought. Well after taking to garage it seems someone tried to break into car and may of been disturbed and when i think about it someone was near car when i arrived with my trolley , so , grrrr, to having to pay for new lock and cover but relief that at least i still have my car and also pleased the garage said he doubts if anyone could of got into the lock anyway..

Got up Sunday and completely out of salts, my nose was bunged  up and i had a bad headache , but still felt i needed to send some uplifting messages to friends , which i not felt like doing for a wee while. Than my friend messaged me to say she had done some dowsing and she found i had a discarnate, now not sure if i believe but i do know that she asked it to leave and i would feel empty or out of sorts for the day, weird, 

But i know today i awoke way more positive and back to my old self, who gets pleasure from helping /guiding people back on the right track. I also know that at the moment its right for me to build good solid friendships to last. and continue to find myself. 

To bring my latest post to an end, i have given alot of thought to my blog and i also spent some time reading other blogs and i come to the conclusion i started this blog as a way of writing down my own thoughts, feelings and record  my general daily life and most of all enjoy writing and to that end i do enjoy blogging.

 A truly wonderful day , actually the weekend, but i was working yesterday, so , today only , though driving home at night and it is still light is very enjoyable.

A minor rant though, I read on here ,why was pool drained, i went out and looked i could see tape earlier and wondered what it was and now i figured it must be cause the pool is drained, of course it is, why? well 1, i was going to use it today for 1st time this year .2, it must of needed cleaning and thinking about it i never had seen it empty beofre and relunctly 3, could not of done it before as weather so bad i suppose. I did mean to go and investigate if smaller pool was filled as empty last week but alas i did not but i think it is filled as i think i saw people laying by it and why would you lie by a empty pool, mind you i bet it was freeeezing and also betting i would of only have put a toe in it anyway.

So after reading about these baths in Manilva i thought i would take a drive along and see for myself. I thought it may be complicated to find but actually it was sign posted quite nicely, unlike other weekend , when armed with a tom tom, which tells you to go right,  you go right and your infact in a car park , so you head out and try again, right it says, right you go, left it says  , you go left and guess waht your back in car park, now i would not want to trump my own trumpet but when i pointed out turn right at traffic lights as i had a feeling it was the right direction and tom tom said left, we went left and yep we were back at car park, change of tactics, iphones app, off we go and 10 minutes later we back at traffic lights and it says  turn right, oh how i felt good, yep it is confirmed my feelings work better than tom toms(must point out though, the 1 time it took so long to get out of Malaga after lunch we stayed for dinner but that was when major roadworks were on)

We parked on side of road(i have 15mins until jacket potato ready, on jacket potato diet this week as i so neeeed 2 pairs of trousers and 3 tops in our sale and so it must come out my shopping for week, so jacket potatoes it is, to finish this blog)

The walk was a tad bumpy and there were some closed restaurants which is a shame but may be there open in the summer, every now and than we could go top road or bottom road and we took top mostly which seemed to be right.Past a small church and you see people picnicing and bar b cuing which is cool. The area is quite beautiful and all the time you coulf hear the stream and see some manmade little waterfalls,

We see this what i can only describe as a run down looking building but people were eating and talking and so we walked down to investigate it,  Theres a little doorway and like a covered area and down a few like steps is the water , sort of under the building, i am not sure what i was expecting but it was not this, but none the less it was unique and very Spanish in, it had just been left how it was found . People were caking mud on themselves which i had read was good for you but from where , i suppose inside

I DID TAKE my bathers but left them in the car, so i dipped my feet in and it was cold but looking forward to going back and fully dipping in. Walked down to stream and paddled in water, it says in book that you can walk the lengh of the stream back to beginning, that sounds fun too.

Before we returned we went for lunch on one of the beaches i planned to visit this year and so pleased i can tick that one of my list .

 Yes i am back on laptop, after all week being ignored by nephew he appears today with it, apparently nothing wrong with it, oh , excuse me , when it kept going onto safe mode but apparently not for nephew and actually has not done it all evening,  So lets see.

Yes it is Friday night after a pretty good week, i decided i was going out for a few drinkies with friend i had promised to go out with forever but than it dawned on me , the thing i seem to not remember is, i am skint . So Friday evening on sofa with bowl of ice cream and a diet coke, Am i sad, nah, fuck it i say, which leads me nicely onto my fuck it book i am reading ( think i may of mentioned it before, should go and reread and see if i did, nah fuck it , your just have to read again).

Very interesting book and love reading it so randomly, though feeling slightly guilty as it is a borrowed book(hotmates)and should get my own but hey fuck it, i give it back when i randomly flick on page and it says, give the bloody book back. ok ok . i will. soon.

The writers club, looks like it may happen, which means i may have to actually write something more than my waffling. Looking forward to being forced into doing it, cause i think i may be quite good, if i just got myself into gear. Now the plot, well it was going to be saucy/romantic/thriller/ bit of my life but now not sure, thinking even one of these self help books,. I could give some views /advice on being a female, dunno, may stick to fiction.

While i am on subject of diet coke, i have switched to coke zero/caffeine free, well, i brought a 2 litre bottle and plan to switch which is the same .

missy is in.

This Sunday i plan to descend onto the pool scene and i am really going to put myself out there this summer, no just listening to peoples conservation around me, nope i am going to attempt to join in, probably go tits up but i have 5 pool areas to work my magic at and so i am figuring if i screw up, fuck it, move onto next pool, yep it is a plan. just hope all swimwear attire fits where it should. I have sync my kindles ready , shall i blow my rubber ring up a bit more, ( i never deflated it, been in spare bathroom all winter, do not judge, takes a lot of puff to blow up, which was not me as i gained it fully blown up) but thinking i may wait a bit as i can than float over when more crowded.

Plant update, still not very well, 

i have seen that crispello advert 3 times now, is it a sign, mmm, yea , chocolate.

Well not alot happening at the moment, which is good i suppose .

 My laptop is poorly and i have taken it to the hospital to be looked after and hoping not put to rest. So on kindle,which with  scriptive text ,puts words in without me seeing,so apologies now for any randoms.Also this is 3rd attempt on blog as 1st ,battery low and whoosh it was gone ,2nd plugged in,started again and whoosh did not fully plug in.

Its my day off and it is early but  i hear rumbling of workman on landing and reminded of the state of my lovely entrance and the tiles out there and the mess . I am thinking i may take washing line down and regrettably place on front balcony until works finished

I have been in a pleasant up beat mood this week, mainly cause at work we have been thrown a surprise mid season sale, Oh how i love a sale, no really i do, the organising ,planning,,i like a good plan . . But something always throw a curb ball at ya, which what keeps it fun.So keeping busy is good.

must put a new plan into my home life too, i have drifted for far to long ,saying i am going to do this and that and actually only achieving,thinnking,thinking, what have i achieved lately, yep, new plan needed .

plan 1 , go see if pools open, think they are as saw people(well2 people on sunday)'

plan 2 or shall  i just say fuck it to plans and go with the flow and  see where it takes me or  is that ,just me justifying my driftness

well ,getting up now,as it is a beautiful day, kick start my fitness with a wander around and think i have exercised.

Missy is in  a routine , eats,plays,goes out, sleeps, sounds like me weird.

Still looking after 4 cats, a bit stressed with them but not for much longer

 I know i am waffling now, ok  ok ,think i turnover and debate the pros of getting up so bloody early on my day off.