Missing Person...My Husband.

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23 Jan 2012 12:00 AM by Lia62 Star rating in Kent. 5 posts Send private message

Hello Everyone,

This is a rather delicate subject, but one that needs to be addressed.  I'm looking for my missing husband in order to divorce him. I have to show the judge that I have done everything in my power to find him and the last I heard of him he was living in the Alicante area.  I can't afford to get on a plane to come and look for him yet again as I am still supporting our youngest child Aidan, through University.  He left us in 1995 when we still lived in Pinto Way Greenwich.

Right here's some details to help you to help me.

Name Adrian Faversham d.o.b 25 July 1965.

From Wandsworth London.

Fathers name Jack, mother Barbra. Although they divorced when he was about 6yrs old. Adrian was raised by his father after his mother left him.

He is 6ft 2in tall. Had short spikey light brown hair, slim build, but very muscular. He has brown eyes (will sort out photo of him and upload it later) When we were together he had no tattoos and I very much doubt he would have them now. Adrian has a real South London accent and a wicked sense of humour.

He was a panel beater, but also a jack of all trades. He is also or was a very very keen cyclist, but liked to spend a lot of time in the pubs enjoying the company of others. He has a racuss laugh and can be the life and soul of any event.

We married in 1991, have 3 children Craig, Megan and Aidan all grown now. The children would like to see thier father again or to at lest know he is well and happy. Megan really needs her father right now as her husband was killed last year and this has devasted her life and she has often wished to see her father again. I think more than anything she wants to know that he is well.

He left me in 1995 and I have not seen him in about 8 to 9yrs after he stopped calling on us. He said he was living in Spain with friends called Gerry and Margo (they do exsist as I did meet Gerry). He last phoned me when his father died and said he was in UK to settle his fathers estatse and was returning to Spain.

At the time of the last phone call, myself & the children were living in Cantwell Road.

I need to divorce him for no other reason than it has been over 16years since he left and frankly enough is enough and as we wish to emigrate with our youngest child to USA  for our son's future I would like to tie up all the loose ends. The whole family is going as Aidan has the chance to study there and is being sponsored by a film production company, with jobs and oppurtunities for the other two older children. Obviously this is huge for us and having been single now for a long time I am more than happy to join the kids on this great adventure.

So if you know or think you know Adrian would you be so kind as to tell him about this. He will have to get in touch with me via this site to begin with as I am not prepared to give out any more details about myself or our family.  There are obviously things we know about our life and family that only the REAL Adrian would know. So as I do not want time wasters or for my children to have thier hopes dashed yet again I hope you don't mind if I keep them to myself for now.

But please tell him that I am not divorcing him to remarry, but because I wish to tie up loose ends in my life and for the children to know that thier father is ok and perhaps now after all this time he himself might be ready.

Thank you in advance for any help you might be able to give us.



_______________________
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.



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23 Jan 2012 2:20 PM by Halifax Star rating. 4 posts Send private message

I would not have posted so much info if I were you.

Presumably you are going to post on the other expat sites covering Spain - if so don't give so much info. After all you are just trying to trace him not give your life story.





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23 Jan 2012 2:29 PM by Lia62 Star rating in Kent. 5 posts Send private message

With all due respect this isn't any of your buisness.

There is NOT I repeat NOT too much info in the post and unless you are prepared to be helpful I strongly suggest Sir that you mind your own business and keep your unhelpful comments to yourself...do you have any idea what it is like to raise 3 children alone while your husband whom you adored is missing......we have no idea if he is alive or dead and we have lived with that EVERY SINGLE DAY for year upon year. I doubt very much if you have ever had to comfort your children through such emotional upheavel as never knowing if their father is alive. And we think of him every single day.

 



_______________________
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.



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23 Jan 2012 3:37 PM by Lia62 Star rating in Kent. 5 posts Send private message

Could I ask that in the light of an already unhelpful comment that I have received here; that any body with any information about the missing father of my 3 children, please send me a private message.

This hopefully will help wittle out any time wasting and useless comments. Bearing in mind that the children can and will be reading this thread.

I am not by nature a rude person, but neither do I suffer fools lightly.

Helpful comments about how I could extend our sereach would of course always be welcome and I thank those of you who have already sent me private messages, it was very kind of you to take the trouble.

 



_______________________
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.



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23 Jan 2012 4:37 PM by EOS Team Star rating in In Spain of course!. 4015 posts Send private message

EOS Team´s avatar

Unfortunately I haven't got any great advice for you except to say that if you can upload the most recent photo you have of him it may help.

If you have any problems with it then just send me a PM and we can sort it for you.

My so called "father" walked out on myself and my brother when my mum was pregnant with me and my brother was 2.  We never saw him again until 20 years later when my mum saw him on a TV program.  He was a two-bit actor.

He got the shock of his life when she finally tracked him down and gave her a piece of her mind!

Best of luck with the search, I really do hope you can locate him.

Justin



_______________________

Schools in Spain Guide | The Expat Files | Learn Spanish | Earn a living in Spain




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23 Jan 2012 5:15 PM by Lia62 Star rating in Kent. 5 posts Send private message

Justin,

Thank you for all your help and advice.  I need to try to find some photo's of him but we have move a few times since we last heard from him and of course over the period of 16/17 years we have added more and more photo's to the collection. Funny thing is how much the youngest actually looks like him..so alike they could be twins, so I might end up putting up a photo of him. People always say how alike they are.

It is heartening to know that there are other men out there who while being abandoned by thier primary role model have gone on to do well with the lives they were dealt. I am way beyond being mad at my husband, I look at my grown kids and realise that I and I alone did a great job on all of them.

Yes there have been times when his presence would have been a benefit to us all, but you know what we did good, we did really good.

I have pity for my missing husband, he will never know the treasure he gave up, the laughter, the madness, the joy of those 3 kids and all the years that I had with them. My sincere wish is that he is well and happy.

Like I said before it is good to hear from people and men in particular who were abandoned by fathers, but still did well. So thank you for that.



_______________________
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.



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23 Jan 2012 5:51 PM by EOS Team Star rating in In Spain of course!. 4015 posts Send private message

EOS Team´s avatar

Well, we had a really tough upbringing what with my mum being a single parent.  Money was always really tight and it was always a massive struggle.

It just made me more determined to do well for myself and my own family.

I have two lovely twin daughters aged 9 now who I spend more time with than I could ever have imagined possible.  They really want for nothing and I try and make sure they have the most stable upbringing and family life as possible so that they can enjoy their childhood years.

I just don't get how someone can walk away from their own children and have nothing to do with them again.  Don't they wonder if their kids are ok?  That they have enough food, clothes, etc?  I just don't understand it.

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck especially with what sounds like a very exciting move to the US.

Let us know how you get on.

Justin



_______________________

Schools in Spain Guide | The Expat Files | Learn Spanish | Earn a living in Spain




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23 Jan 2012 6:17 PM by alysonwenham Star rating in blackpool, england. 83 posts Send private message

Hi

How about contacting the English newspapers in the Alicante area, like Costs Blanca News or TIM which is a free magazine?  There are quite a few free papers in the area.  Also, there are the English radio stations.

Good luck

Alyson





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23 Jan 2012 6:38 PM by Lia62 Star rating in Kent. 5 posts Send private message

Hello Alyson,

Thank you very much for that advice and the pointers.

I will get on to it, but money is in short supply, and I am paying for Aidan's University fees etc...

I like the idea of the radios and maybe a couple of the papers might do a story for me.

Right now everything is worth trying as to do this from America will be a nightmare.

Once again thank you for your help.

Much peace Lia.



_______________________
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.



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23 Jan 2012 7:49 PM by alysonwenham Star rating in blackpool, england. 83 posts Send private message

Hi Lia

I think that the newspapers will, there are so many free ones down there, and often they seem a bit short on editorial but full of ads.  I would think that you would be able to do it all over the internet too, I certainly wouldn't pay a newspaper.  So Spain do a census like in the UK so you could trace him that way  If you need names of papers, radio stations etc, please do not hesitate to contact me.  I live in the UK but have a holiday home in Alicante so I can get the info for you.

Look after yourself.

Alyson





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23 Jan 2012 8:26 PM by Ange1 Star rating. 4 posts Send private message

Good luck in your search Lia dont take any notice of mindless unhelpfull comments.

I hope all works out well for you and the free local papers are a good idea.

 





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24 Jan 2012 6:03 AM by johnzx Star rating in Spain. 5255 posts Send private message

Having checked on line it appears that one can ask for a divorce after two years of being ‘deserted’.  In your case Lia  it would seem you have good grounds for such an action.
 
Guess it seem obvious, but have you consulted anyone in UK about the legal requirements, i.e. solicitor, CAB, county court etc ?
 
Just is passing the post by Halifax,  which suggested you should consider not giving too much detail about yourself was good advice.  It is for that reason many peoplein forums chose a name which does not disclose who they are and even do not refer to say a particular town where they live.  Too much info can lead to stalking, and it seems you have enough to be concerned about without encouraging that.

I am sure Halifax was trying to be helpful and did not deserve your harsh comment.





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24 Jan 2012 6:03 AM by johnzx Star rating in Spain. 5255 posts Send private message

Having checked on line it appears that one can ask for a divorce after two years of being ‘deserted’.  In your case Lia  it would seem you have good grounds for such an action.
 
Guess it seem obvious, but have you consulted anyone in UK about the legal requirements, i.e. solicitor, CAB, county court etc ?
 
Just is passing the post by Halifax,  which suggested you should consider not giving too much detail about yourself was good advice.  It is for that reason many peoplein forums chose a name which does not disclose who they are and even do not refer to say a particular town where they live.  Too much info can lead to stalking, and it seems you have enough to be concerned about without encouraging that.

I am sure Halifax was trying to be helpful and did not deserve your harsh comment.





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24 Jan 2012 6:03 AM by johnzx Star rating in Spain. 5255 posts Send private message

Having checked on line it appears that one can ask for a divorce after two years of being ‘deserted’.  In your case Lia  it would seem you have good grounds for such an action.
 
Guess it seem obvious, but have you consulted anyone in UK about the legal requirements, i.e. solicitor, CAB, county court etc ?
 
Just is passing the post by Halifax,  which suggested you should consider not giving too much detail about yourself was good advice.  It is for that reason many peoplein forums chose a name which does not disclose who they are and even do not refer to say a particular town where they live.  Too much info can lead to stalking, and it seems you have enough to be concerned about without encouraging that.

I am sure Halifax was trying to be helpful and did not deserve your harsh comment.





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24 Jan 2012 2:51 PM by suemac Star rating in Jumilla, Murcia. 1001 posts Send private message

Hi Lia

You could start by sending a letter to the editor of Costa Blanca News, asking whether anybody can help you find your husband.  If he hasn't changed his name, one of their readers may very well know him.  I suggest that you ask for people to contact you via CBN, so they can monitor any replies, to be on the safe side.  The email address is letters@cbnews.es.

I should have a contact for a radio show as well, because they rang me and interviewed me about my book on their live show.  If they are interested in your story, they might be willing to ring you in the UK.  If you think that might be helpful, let me know and I will look for the details.

This is the link to TIM magazine's contact form: http://www.timspain.com/contact-us/.

Take care.

Sue

 



_______________________

 Sue Walker

Author of "Retiring the Ole Way", now available on Amazon

See my blog about our life in Spain: www.spainuncovered.com




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19 Feb 2012 9:29 PM by costa.del.sky Star rating. 97 posts Send private message

 Don't take this as a joke but have you tried Facebook? Everyone is on there, and everyone seems to add everyone. Search his name, if you cant find him himself, search friends he had that he still may be in contact with and see if they have him the the friends list. Etc etc....

 





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