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03 Jul 2009 00:00 by noggins Star rating. 7 posts Send private message

Well, after talking about it, dreaming it, thinking about it, planning it,  for about 15 years we are finally DOING IT!!

All right, calm down everyone I mean we are coming to Spain....... In 8 weeks!

We are renting a house on an urbanisation (we have visited before) for 6 months to see if we can do it. The kids are excited, we are excited and I have had to buy a diary especially for our friends visiting rights!  We have work lined up, school places and somewhere to live and money in the bank. As we are only renting out our UK house and renting a spanish house so we are still  sitting on the fence, really, but we feel that in current climate its probably a more sensible stance.

So all is well - except one family member,  who is really mad at us for "jumping ship" ; We have one elderly family member left who is healthy and living an independant life but apparantly according to one of our younger relations we are abandoning our responsibilities. Frankly, I don't suppose this person really believed it was ever going to happen. The alternative is to sit it out and wait for God.

My question are: Are we being selfish? Has anyone else had similar problems? If so what did you do? Should we be even listening to this relations protestations?

I dont want to make enemies out of an otherwise happy family but surely it is down to the members of our little family unit to decide our future. This really is spoiling what should be a happy and exciting time.





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03 Jul 2009 08:23 by pilgrim Star rating in Costa Calida. 234 posts Send private message

pilgrim´s avatar

I had very much the same sort of thing said to me, when deciding to move to Spain.

In my book, no way is it a selfish attitude. It is cruel for someone to say you are not meeting your responsibilities.

In fact, I found it quicker sometimes, to visit my relative, travelling from Spain, than it was to face the time and nightmares of the M1/M25!!

Things have settled down now, with the continual offer for the relative to visit us here.

So, for me, life in Spain is good. Just wish I didn´t feel so claustrophobic when visiting the U.K!!

May I wish you all the very best for the future, for you and your family.



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03 Jul 2009 08:35 by roddy1 Star rating in Leeds/ Balsicas. 250 posts Send private message

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I would not hesitate about it, get to Spain and start enjoying life!

Roddy & Tracie Leeds/ Balsicas

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03 Jul 2009 08:58 by sterling Star rating in Kent & Partaloa, Alm.... 197 posts Send private message

Emotional Blackmail, that's what it is.

We have had a similar problem, with my mother. I am an only child, my own children have grown up (well that's the theory) and flown the nest and we have has a house in Spain for 9 years we have both taken early retirement and wanted to move over 4 years ago. Then my father passed away very suddenly which left my mother alone. We have waited until now as my mum is not at all independent, she rely's on me for everything and would never leave the house without my collecting her in the car!!!!

I know for a fact that when I spend long periods of time in Spain, she does manage quite well but manages to make me feel very guilty for leaving her.

Another factor is my daughter has just  given birth to our 1st grandchild and I know that although she's happy for us, deep down she would prefer us to stay in the UK. We are very close. It's so difficult, but lets face it ,life is far to short and we must not be made to feel guilty for wanting to live it.

Good Luck Noggins.. go for it. Have a ball


This message was last edited by sterling on 03/07/2009.


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03 Jul 2009 09:04 by amcgrory Star rating in La Herrada Los Monte.... 23 posts Send private message

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It is very difficult to offer a balanced oppinion to someone on such a major and personal decision,  but as an outsider and  given the little facts that are available would have to say that you most deffinately sound as if you have done your homework and are making in my humble oppinion a very sound and wise choise. Go for it you have very little to lose and a possably a great deal to gain. Good luck and best wishes.

Regards Pat & Ann

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03 Jul 2009 09:07 by lifeline Star rating in Murcia. 358 posts Send private message

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You have planned this so well for so long. Great! Go with no sense of guilt.

We are relocating at the end of August too and we keep reminding relatives and friends that we are timewise probably much more accessible and they get a holiday too. Plenty of good  hoilday rental accom. in every area! 

Very best wishes



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03 Jul 2009 11:41 by leema Star rating in Washington Tyne & We.... 652 posts Send private message

I don't think your being selfish, I would say go for it, Spain is only a few hours in the plane now if you needed to get back for an emergency, but you only have one shot at life and I would say go for it and you seem as if you have done all your planning right so you have nothing to lose.


Good luck to you and your family and I hope it all goes well for you.


This message was last edited by leema on 03/07/2009.


Maureen & Dennis

Coto Real

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03 Jul 2009 11:54 by morerosado Star rating in Guardamar del Segura.... 6943 posts Send private message

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What a wonderful post from Noggins. I'm sure these concerns occur within many families but, like others here, I agree it's your life & you must go for it, without question.

You said 'all is well - except one family member,  who is really mad at us for "jumping ship" ; We have one elderly family member left who is healthy and living an independant life'  The family member is being selfish & wants a hold over you & your dream. Don't allow it to happen, please.

I wish you all the very best in your new life in Spain.

Hi lifeline, all my best to you too for when you move to Murcia in August. I like the bit where you say 'we keep reminding relatives and friends that we are timewise probably much more accessible and they get a holiday too. Plenty of good  hoilday rental accom. in every area!'

Are you feeling better Noggins ? Hope so.










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03 Jul 2009 13:24 by Cove Robert Star rating. 215 posts Send private message

Hi Noggins

Best of luck for your adventure.

I moved from my native country 20 years ago and the relationship I have with my parents is a 100 % better then I imagine it would have been had I staid. I honestly think we are much closer now. Thanks to cheap flights we have the option of seeing each other as often as we want to. Works a treat after the initial process of getting used to the situation. They love to come over and see the grandkids and sometimes I think that is a bigger treat for my parents and my kids then being together a couple of times a week.  I always make sure that my family and friends know that out of sight does not mean out of mind and heart.


Hope everything works out for you.




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03 Jul 2009 17:51 by noggins Star rating. 7 posts Send private message


Thank you all so much for your encouragement. That is the great part of forums you really dont feel like you are on your own. It means a lot that you all took the time to post a reply.

 We lost my mum nearly 2 years ago now- after a swift and sudden illness  and we realise that  you are a long time dead!

This relative of ours is officiially the only person in our lives that thinks we are being selfish.

After reading all of your posts we are feeling more confident.

We have set up msn and hotmail so there will be no excuses on our relatives part not to keep in touch

We WILL be arriving on the 1st of September! We WILL be making lots of new friends and we WILL be entertaining our long standing English friends (and family, I hope) when they visit!

Look out Mazzaron -here we come ready or not!


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03 Jul 2009 18:13 by morerosado Star rating in Guardamar del Segura.... 6943 posts Send private message

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Don't forget to use Skype (free calls PC to PC) & webcams.









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