Friend's grandmother clips son around ear-hole: a sign of true integration?

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30 Sep 2012 13:45 by eggcup Star rating. 567 posts Send private message

When my son was clipped around the ear-hole by his friend's grandmother, my first reaction was, 'what a cheek.'  After a moment's reflection, though, I thought he probably deserved it and, in a sense, it showed that he really was seen as part of this Spanish family.  What do others think is a sign of true integration into Spanish life?  And how far can expats ever be really truly integrated?



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18 Apr 2013 14:53 by clarice Star rating. 35 posts Send private message

 Its a sign of total integration . My spanish friends have always doled out the old slap to thier kids and yes when my children were in their care its the same for them . Once I had a friends dqaughter for the day and she was a nightmare her mother ( spanish ) said for gods sake your the adult if she behaves bad when shes with you slap her legs !!!





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18 Apr 2013 15:04 by baz1946 Star rating. 2225 posts Send private message

Kids need to know when they do something very unacceptable to normal behavior, a slap around the legs, maybe a tap on the bottom, after all you do see so many parents telling and shouting at their kids and get back abuse.....Short sharp shock does seem to fix the problem though.

Slap or clip around the ear-hole, nope don't agree with any one hitting, tapping, slapping any kid around the head area, difficult to retaliate if a Lady did this, a man...Well he would get the same back i am afraid.





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18 Apr 2013 15:35 by camposol Star rating in Camposol. 1408 posts Send private message

It's child abuse, wouldn't be tolerated in UK, repercussions could be disastrous





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18 Apr 2013 17:02 by clarice Star rating. 35 posts Send private message

 child  abuse ? what a stupid remark to make there is a mountain of difference between a slap and abuse .   





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18 Apr 2013 17:06 by camposol Star rating in Camposol. 1408 posts Send private message

Try telling that to UK/social services/Police. Also there are slaps and SLAPS!





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18 Apr 2013 18:46 by tamaraessex Star rating in Colmenar, Malaga. 508 posts Send private message

tamaraessex´s avatar

"Try telling that to UK/social services/Police. Also there are slaps and SLAPS!"

Umm, this is Spain.  Eggcup's post was about an incident in Spain.  A quick slap by a child's friend's grandmother - IN SPAIN.  Not much point telling the UK social services.  And anyway, Eggcup as the mother felt it was the right thing to have done.  So can we get back on-thread please?  The question was not about "child abuse", but was about signs of integration.

Yes Eggie ... because what it is, is a sign of accveptance.  Of belonging.  Of being treated as the Spanish treat each other.  Of being part of the community, not outside it.



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18 Apr 2013 21:57 by baz1946 Star rating. 2225 posts Send private message

 


 

"Try telling that to UK/social services/Police. Also there are slaps and SLAPS!"

Umm, this is Spain. Eggcup's post was about an incident in Spain. A quick slap by a child's friend's grandmother - IN SPAIN. Not much point telling the UK social services. And anyway, Eggcup as the mother felt it was the right thing to have done. So can we get back on-thread please? The question was not about "child abuse", but was about signs of integration.

Yes Eggie ... because what it is, is a sign of accveptance. Of belonging. Of being treated as the Spanish treat each other. Of being part of the community, not outside it.

"Try telling that to UK/social services/Police. Also there are slaps and SLAPS!"

Umm, this is Spain. Eggcup's post was about an incident in Spain. A quick slap by a child's friend's grandmother - IN SPAIN. Not much point telling the UK social services. And anyway, Eggcup as the mother felt it was the right thing to have done. So can we get back on-thread please? The question was not about "child abuse", but was about signs of integration.

Yes Eggie ... because what it is, is a sign of accveptance. Of belonging. Of being treated as the Spanish treat each other. Of being part of the community, not outside it.

 

Yes i agree fully, i should have added it, but missed it out,  my post was intended to relate to the way Spain works.

In fact i witnessed something along the same lines as this standing in a queque once , a young boy jumped the queue and this elderly Spanish Lady behind me grabbed him roughly by the scuff of the neck and placed him at the back, also giving him a real good telling off, the young boy never once said anything back, i remarked how that wouldn't have never happened in England without the normal amount of abuse and swearing.


 


This message was last edited by baz1946 on 18/04/2013.



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19 Apr 2013 15:35 by camposol Star rating in Camposol. 1408 posts Send private message

I was a child of the fifties when smacking was the norm, and a few years later when I had children, I used to smack them occasionally. Now I have changed my views on this. An adult hitting a child can never be right, and it doesn't achieve anything except maybe, fear.There are other ways to correct and discipline a child

If I had small children now I would resent anyone touching my child. If the child had done something wrong it would have been my job to deal with it.

Just because some  Spanish people slap their children, it doesn't make it right, nor is it a sign of integration just antiquated practice. Do you think they would accept a British person smacking their children?


This message was last edited by camposol on 19/04/2013.



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19 Apr 2013 19:07 by bobaol Star rating. 2256 posts Send private message

bobaol´s avatar
My Mum still clips me round the ear and I'm 63! She may be 89 and shrinking (4ft 10 at the last count) but she still tells me off if I step out of line and tells me I'm a scruff if I don't get my haircut. Mums huh!
Seruously though, there are clips and there are clips. A quick tap on the hand or back of the leg (not strong enough to mark) seems far better to me than some of the screaming and shouting I've heard from some parents. Enough to give the kids nightmares. And the language that comes out of some of them. Even ex-army and they still make me blush.
Ah, the terrible twos!





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