All EOS blogs All Spain blogs  Start your own blog Start your own blog 

Remarkable Stories from a Spanish Bar

For you to enjoy the unbelievable stories and unforgettable characters of a Spanish Bar! Some so outrageous that you couldn't make them up !

Chain Saw Massacre in Serón
01 August 2013

Antonio Wood

What a character, hard to know where to start to tell you about him.
Lets start with his name Antonio is his name and because we have so many Antonio's come into the bar we called him Wood, because he sells wood.

Wood is in his early thirties, as strong as an ox, no stronger. At times his strength seemed super human, as was his ability to drink.

He is also employed by the town hall from time to time to trim trees and cut them down. Why they continue to employ him is beyond me, it is horrific to watch. As he stands at the top of a wobbly ladder, waving a chainsaw around after consuming much to much alcohol to be operating a chain saw. He is also a little chainsaw happy, the first year in the bar, he was clearing the trees in the swimming pool area and decided that the beautiful lilac tree on our terrace needed a trim. He hacked so much off that it took two years to recover.

Let's me explain a bit about his character. He is a male chauvinist, has a very crude sense of humour, likes to drink more than the people around him like him to. However he can be good company, funny and show friendship, unfortunately we only ever glimpsed his better qualities. He also has a reputation for not paying his bar bills, however he alway paid us, he liked to have a tab, even when he had money in his pocket, I think it made him feel important. But he always paid it when he said he would. 
Don't get me wrong I actually like the man and I have to say, apart from the inappropriate comments, which he would stop straight away, when I told him off, he never made me feel threatened or acted inappropriately.

Wood was one of the first customers we had, even before we were officially opened. 
That first year he was a very regular customer at least two or three times a day and also very helpful. He has extensive knowledge about cooking on open fires and was always willing to share his knowledge to help us out.
Often he would be the last to leave and even more often his wife would come in shouting the odds at him or worse, send one of their two sons in to get Daddy. When this happened I would try to persuaded him, that it might be better just to go home, tomorrow is another day. Mostly he didn't go.

Things escalated with his wife and she would go really mental, if I was working on my own and he was in the bar. She decided that we must be having an affair. Oh, please, really even if I had the time or inclination, which I didn't, Wood would not be on my list. I could not be doing with the very many faults in his character and he is not even good looking or rich.

She decided that throwing drinks and screaming the odds at him wasn't working, so changed her attention to me, calling me all the names under the sun, then would turn to him, throw his drink over him and leave. This although very unpleasant, I could live with.

What happened next I could not live with.

Wood and I were the only people in the bar, by now if this happened I would get him to leave as soon as I could to avoid a scene. I was the other side and end of the bar when she came storming in. Calling me all sorts of words for a hooker, so I explained I was just doing my job and not anything else, my job as a barmaid and that I was NOT a hooker.
She throw his drink at him and left. I told him he had to leave now too, we were closed.

I locked up, got into my car, driving around the sports centre the same as every other night, apart from when I got to the other end, Woods wife was coming at me in her car. I had to swerve to stop her driving start into the side of me.
She then followed me right up my backside for about 3km, flashing and beeping her horn for me to stop,  no way was I stopping. I decided I would drive to the Guardia office, but then she vanished.

I was very shaken by the experience, really it is not nice. The next day I told Wood she was barred and if I ever saw her near the bar again I would denounce her.

Barry had a very public word with her at a fiesta and that was the end of her behaviour.

I have only sympathy for the poor woman, I did suggest to Wood that she needed some help, but he didn't agree.

Many more Wood stories to follow ...... 

Like 0        Published at 20:44   Comments (1)

Spam post or Abuse? Please let us know

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse you are agreeing to our use of cookies. More information here. x