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Remarkable Stories from a Spanish Bar

For you to enjoy the unbelievable stories and unforgettable characters of a Spanish Bar! Some so outrageous that you couldn't make them up !

I want my BED
18 March 2013 @ 16:24

Three weeks and counting

We are now only three weeks away from the big event and planning is well under way.

 Normal bar life

 
Whilst all this was going on we still had normal bar life to contend with. Namely Jose Maria (you met him in an earlier blog) he was our first customer and had now taken to coming in twice a day. Lunch 1pm as the years went on if we hadn't seen him by 2pm I would worry. Then again at about 8pm.
 
Jose Maria lives with his father and shares his bed with three dogs and two cats, in the height of summer you can smell that that is true! 
He has the strength of ten men, yet doesn't know it. It took only three occasions of him holding my hand, before I wised up, he bloody well hurt. He would squeeze the life out of it, he was being affectionate, not intending to hurt, but gee it hurt. Then there was the back tapping, this could easily have sent me flying, the power behind is hand was that of 'Superman', just incredible. Again all done with the intention of love and respect. New customers would give me a really strange look as I ducked to avoid his flying hand, but really it was the only way not to get hurt. 
 
Go Home
 
That first year he was a real pain, in a nice way, I have a real soft spot for him, but until I worked out how to control him, he was a pain.
Felipe had warned us that as the day drew on he would drink slower and slower and getting him to leave may prove difficult. All true.
 
During the day was never a problem, he would drink his two or maybe three 'Meows'. He only drank  Mahou bottled beer, which he called 'Meow', I think for our benefit because our Spanish was so dismal. He would only ever have a maximin of three because he had to go back to work. Sorting the animals out or any odd jobs he was doing for his nephew. Antonio another fantastic person and drop dead gorgeous (sorry Barry, but he is).
 
But the night, he would start on the 'Meow'  maybe have three or four, by the fourth it was taking an hour a bottle. Move on to a calagio (coffee with brandy), after half an hour with that, move on to the Ballentines(whiskey) and coke, averaging drinking time 1 1/2 hours. 
Okay when you have other customers doesn't matter how long it takes someone to drink, but when you are still waiting at 2am or 3am and he hasn't even raised the glass to his month for half an hour, it starts to grate.
 
Plan
 
I can't even tell you how many times I had everything, apart from the front door locked up. My coat on and the lights off, doing a little 'come on it time to go home' dance with him, my hands on his shoulders or arms encouraging him to move towards the door. Many times with the glass still in his hand, no problem there where tables out the front, he could stay there all night if he liked, I just wanted my bed !
Often at the beginning I would get him all the way to the door, then as quick as the 'Tasmanian Devil' you would swing round and be at the bar again. This dance could last anywhere from half an hour to an hour.
 
I had a plan and you know what it worked. If other customers were inthe bar no problem. If the other customers looked as though they where going soon, I would give Jose Maria notice. We are closing in half an hour, no more today, tomorrow is another day. On the whole this worked like a dream and I could go home to my bed, without a nightly dance.
You will be hearing loads more about Jose Maria and his antics, there are many.
 
 
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