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Remarkable Stories from a Spanish Bar

For you to enjoy the unbelievable stories and unforgettable characters of a Spanish Bar! Some so outrageous that you couldn't make them up !

The two P's
10 April 2013 @ 23:19

 The two P's


Pee and Poo


The toilet habits of some of our customers and neighbours.

For us running a bar it was very important to have clean toilets, whenever I go anywhere I judge a place by the cleanest of the bathroom, sad I know.
For a select few at our bar it was far from important, because they didn't use them.
We had two male customers who both would leave the bar and pee on the garden area in front, where the kids played. They walked past the toilet to go outside. Now to me this is odd but to them it made perfect sense. 
In our little village they have only had electric and inside toilets for about 30years. In fact some still don't have these amenities that us Brit's take as being essential.
We did explain to both these men that the kids play there so please could they use the toilet, which they did do, but we had to explain why.
Driving around here you will often see a man at the side of the road having wee, they don't bother trying to hide the fact, often their manhood is on show for all to see. I find this unpleasant as they are almost always elderly.
Then you have those who have toilets in their houses but don't use them, like an elderly neighbor of ours who still goes outside for a poo, to me that is horrible, but to him it is a way of life.
A neighbor of a friend of ours poo's down the side wall of his house, yuck. We don't know if he has a toilet or not. It may just be to keep all the flies in one place who knows.
Then you have the mystery of the foot prints on the toilet seats. In the bar almost daily when I went to clean the toilets, a job I do NOT miss, I would find footprints. On the toilet seats and sometimes on the cisterns, too this day I can't work out why. I thought maybe it was something to do with drugs, so I checked the light fitting, nothing. Then I thought it may have been some sort of sexual adventure, but after monitoring the length of time and who went in with whom, this also draw a blank, so still I am none the wiser.
I also used to find small blue or white circular tissue paper, I am told that these are wraps for cocaine. I was shocked to find out that in a our rural community cocaine use is everywhere. My main priority is to educating my daughters not to touch it and what it can do to you and fingers crossed they will not ever take it.
On one occasion Antonio wood (we call him that because he sells wood) decided that he would give a female customer a treat and flash at her, of course he was slightly worse for wear. When I found out about it a few days later I was horrified and next time he came in, I took him outside away for other customers for a quiet chat. I told him never ever to do that in my bar again. He denies doing, but I know he did, the things that come things that come out of his mouth are very crude at times and I really believe that he is capable of doing such a thing and that he would think it is totally acceptable.
On the odd occasion we had love birds nip in for a quick snog, but must have only been a snog or very quick !
Cleaning the toilets was always a joy, never knew what you may find, especially if it had been a busy and late night. However I got away lightly, not much sick to clean up over the years, thankfully. Really don't miss that bit of running a bar.
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Sandra Piddock said:
12 April 2013 @ 09:29

Yes, I've noticed the men stopping their cars for a wee. On the road into Benijofar yesterday, two cars were parked in a layby and the guys were just peeing and chatting. They were pointing out towards the road as well, rather than with their backs to the traffic.

Maybe they were having a contest to see who could spray furthest, and they wanted some independent observers!

Maria said:
13 April 2013 @ 11:12

My ex-husband used to squat with his feet on the toilet seat to poo. He thought it perfectly natural and helped things along quicker. Perhaps he has been using your toilets! It would explain the footprints on the seat.

Louise said:
13 April 2013 @ 11:47

How gross! I know the joys of keeping a toilet clean as I make sure I look after our one toilet at work! (there are only 4 of us!)
We get people who pee over the pan and down the sides and even dribble on the floor! I know the ones that do it and always go and sort it out after they've been so its ok if another customer needs to use it! Its not something I will miss, thats for sure! :)

Maddiemack said:
13 April 2013 @ 11:49

There was a 'flasher' who frequented the beach where I lived as a teenager. He got his kicks from opening his raincoat to expose himself to ladies walking along the beach....always to shrieks of horror...until the day my mother was taking a walk with my 12-year-old sister. They took one look at his privates and both burst into shrieks of laughter. This was definitely not what the guy had intended and, when my sister couldn't stop laughing, he skulked away and they never saw him on the beach again!

Could you PM me Sam. I'm rather intrigued in knowing more about your new job. Thanks!

Ann said:
13 April 2013 @ 13:22

Ah yes, toilets. A subject dear to my heart, particularly after moving to Spain.
My biggest gripe is the lack of soap in toilets. Now, I am so interested in this subject - that of washing hands and how it is best done effectively. Maybe I have got it wrong all these years and soap is not really needed after all.
After my mini-amount of research, I can categorically say that soap is needed. What soap does is to loosen germs, germs being sticky by nature. Just a fiddle of fingers under a running tap won't do anything except wet your fingers! So soap is essential if you are actually to get the germs off!!
Warm or hot water however is not needed.
A comment also on footprints on the seat - I have never come across this before but I would imagine it is for hygiene. We travelled in China a while back and of course there are no toilet seats there - it's all a question of squating. Before you raise your hands in horror, this is a far more hygienic way to go to the toilet as you don't touch anything but yourself, it's good for your hips and also helps the 'movement!'
Lastly - peeing outside. Also a very good thing but not to be done where it can be seen, or children play. It's saves litres and litres of water in flushing the toilet just to get rid of a tiddly pee!

Sam said:
13 April 2013 @ 13:31

Thank you so much for your comments, really made me laugh !
The squatting idea explains on the rim, but not when the seat is closed, so half mystery solved !
You will be pleased to know we had soap in all the toilets !
Thanks again for your support of my blog.
Oh, love the idea of laughing a flasher to stop them doing it again ! Fab !

wodger said:
14 April 2013 @ 18:01

Reading about toilets reminds me of a visit about 20 years ago to Honfleur (Normandy). There were open urinals built into a wall at the fish quay, but no hand washing facilities. I asked my French friend why all of the fisherman were wearing hairnets & she explained that it was one of the food handling hygiene laws. She could not explain why they had to wear hairnets, but could pee up against a wall & carry on unloading the fish without washing their hands first.

Sam said:
15 April 2013 @ 20:07

Wodger, made me laugh ! Thank you for your support.

anthony said:
18 April 2013 @ 13:26

Footprints, that's an easy one, they were just tying up their laces.
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