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Arguing about all sorts: the third year of our Spanish adventure

This account of our life in Spain is loosely based on true events although names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. I have tried to recreate events, locales and conversations from my memories and from my diaries of the time. I may have also changed identifying characteristics and details of individuals such as appearance, nationality or occupations and characters are often an amalgam of different people that I met.

The one bad neighbour (there's always one).
Monday, June 9, 2014 @ 3:13 PM

Just below the casa Andres was hovering as usual. I had seen him first when we were doing a recky one day with Benjamín. 
'Sois ingleses?' he'd asked, calling up from his garden.
'Yes we speak English,' we replied in our diplomatic Welsh way.
'Ah, I only speak German,' he said.
'Sehr gut,' I answered. 'We can talk in German then.' I asked him in German where he'd learnt it; whether he had worked in Germany?
'Que?' he replied flustered. It seemed his Deutsch was a bit rusty.
Reverting to Spanish, on the spur of the moment I decided to ask if he'd mind us putting a window in an upstairs room which would overlook the path running towards his front door (Benjamín had said we wouldn't get agreement for a window, but I thought it was worth a try).
'Yes, I suppose that would be okay,' he said. 'As long as you can also put some guttering on the same side, because the water pours off the roof onto my land.'
'Muy bien,' I replied, really pleased to have thought of it. Before he could change his mind first thing the next day I got the Romanians to smash through a wall they'd built. It was south facing and the views of the sierra were going to be magnificent. We also got the electrician to install the TV point and a whole stack of electrical points in the room. This would be a stunning salón with the sunlight streaming in.
A few days later after the men had fitted the lintel, a woman was calling up from the garden. She wanted to speak to us.
'You can't do that!' she was shouting and pointing. 'You have no right to put a window in that wall!'
She was shrieking. 'Que cara tiene! What a cheek! You didn't ask my permission!'
'Who are you?' Adrian shouted back.
'I'm the dueña of this house, that's who!'
'Well we didn't even know you existed,' Adrian replied. 'So how were we supposed to ask your permission? And anyway, your husband here gave us el permiso.' He nodded towards Andres who was standing silently nearby.
'Don't ask him! He's an idiot!' she shouted back. 'You get rid of it. I won't have it! I want it gone by tomorrow!'
There was nothing for it. Although the window didn't overlook their house, it overlooked a slither of their land. And although we had no idea why it would have got her so enraged, you had to have the permission of the neighbours if you wanted a window to overlook their property. We now had to pay the labourers to once more fill in the window and the electrical points were all in the wrong place. It also meant we had to pay for an expensive velux window to be installed in the roof for extra light.
Benjamín thought we should try and get our own back:
'Mira. They've got their gate attached to the side of your house. Eso es ilegal! You can insist that they move it.' 
But we didn't have the energy to start a legal case. We also could have reneged on the agreement to do the guttering, but Adrian still wanted it done (and over-ruled me).
We were, however, generally lucky with the attitude of the neighbours to the building work (even harridan and cuckhold below), in that they never complained about the noisy machines running six days a week. There was also mess in the streets, with dumper trucks unloading sand which had to be shovelled and wheel-barrowed in. Nobody said a word, and when we tried to apologise anyway, we’d be told: ‘No importa. We all do work from time to time’. 
And another good thing (I like to look on the bright side) was that now we'd had the argument with old fish-face we could happily ignore her forever more. This was when we perfected the 'blanking technique.'
It went like this: you see someone in the street, outside the bar, or in the grocers' and you think:
'Mmm, I know that ugly, dyed-red hair, hard-faced cow with the square face. Who is she now? Oh, yes! She's my neighbour!' 
They disappear so much from your mind that you could happily sit next to them in a cafe, oblivious, forgetting you'd ever spoken to them. It's a marvellous technique and one I thoroughly recommend.

We have two holiday lets in Spain, with some vacancies for this year: 

http://www.homeaway.co.uk/p86636

And:

http://www.homeaway.co.uk/p475271

 



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19 Comments


Gabian said:
Saturday, June 14, 2014 @ 12:49 PM

My opinion from what you said is as follows and I apologise if you are offended but it needs to be said......

I love reading your blogs but you seem to have a 'bull in a china shop' attitude.

It seems obvious to me that you don't start bulldozing walls down etc. after a face to face agreement with someone the day before. Maybe consulting all parties involved beforehand would have been less of an issue, and less costly.

I think you should learn by this mistake and try and go through the correct channels next time, unless you want a hostile relationship with your neighbour. You have to live with them.

The lady next door was right, it's her property, why did you not consult her as well, and there is no need saying 'I thought', 'I presumed' or 'assumed' blah blah!.

I still love your blogs but you need to chill and she was right...... Maybe you should have listened to Benjamin in the first place......and don't forget that Andres only said "Yes, I 'suppose' that would be okay"......How would you feel if they did something similar towards your property without you knowing......

In my opinion you are doing things the wrong way, your builders are laughing at you as they have work. Whether it is to build or take down your mistakes they still get paid. Think about it......


eggcup said:
Saturday, June 14, 2014 @ 2:51 PM

You're wrong to call the neighbour's wife a 'lady' - if that annoying term is meant to refer to a woman who behaves in a stereotypically and falsely decorous way, then you are far from the mark. A friend who knew the woman all her life called her 'retorcida,' (i.e. 'twisted') and said she was greatly afflicted by the local (and possibly national) disease of 'envidia.' Also, we asked the male neighbour because he was the only person we had ever seen there. We had no idea he had a wife. We didn't know of her existence. When she showed herself should I have asked to see her ID and the title deeds to her house as well? Do you know anything about how things are in the rural areas of Spain?
As for doing something to their property - we weren't touching their property. A window looking out over their path is nothing. We had one that did that anyway, directly below which couldn't be objected to as it had always been there.
And this all happened a long time ago. It's an historical account. I have learnt many lessons over the years - I've made enough mistakes to consider myself an expert in many fields. I don't believe I had a lesson to learn here though. As a business person I make loads of decisions and take loads of risks and sometimes it's worth acting quickly. Frankly, I don't give a bee-baa-boo now about the window. It's a distant and insignificant moment in my life and in the history of the universe.


Gabian said:
Saturday, June 14, 2014 @ 4:50 PM

Please don't ask me about knowledge of 'rural areas of Spain'. For your information I live in Extremadura, a little bit more rural than where you are I think.

With reference to you asking for her ID when she showed herself. Why does everything have to be so immediate. Things take time in Spain as you know so that could all have happened through the right channels, I don't want to mention the obvious 'abogado' route but what is the problem......

You had no Idea he had a wife, then, would it not have been wise to find out...... If she is as you say then everyone will know, so why make matters worse for yourself by getting so het up in a battle with her, she is obviously winning as she has the upper hand, so to speak......

A window looking over her path is nothing to YOU but it isn't nothing to her, that is what you are not understanding.

I'm very happy that you have got over the window incident but I feel that if you had handled it a bit more diplomatically then maybe you would have had a better result in the end.

Sorry if you don't like my opinion but sometimes things need to be said.

Please look up EXTREMADURA on the map to see if we are more rural than you...... Hmmmmmm!!!


eggcup said:
Saturday, June 14, 2014 @ 9:09 PM

FYI been to Extremadura several times and holidaying there this summer. Living in a rural area doesn't make you an expert on my life. If you had a screaming woman having a go at you, I'm sure you'd win her over with your diplomatic ways. You've demonstrated your diplomacy in your 'conversation' with me.
And God do I hate point-scoring - my area's more rural than yours; my.... is bigger than yours.... Sorry, but as a woman I don't go in for all that. Write your own blog about Extremadura. Bore us all to tears with how well you run your life.


Gabian said:
Saturday, June 14, 2014 @ 10:16 PM

Excuse me, well done for holidaying in Extremadura, a proper rural area, no doubt you wanted to get out of the rat-race and where better to go than my part of the world.

Please remember that you were the original expert on rural living, as you told me. I mean, what did I know about rural life......

You love point scoring so don't give me that rubbish...... You always want to be in the driving seat...... You brought up the rural issue in the first place. I didn't need to because I live it day by day REAL, unlike you...... get a life......

I just feel that with reference to the 'screaming woman', maybe initially a bit more calma and diplomacia may have been helpful that's all. I still think it's possible to resolve this issue and get your window with the right approach.

It took me five years to buy the land next door to me. I waited, and waited, and waited, you need to go with the flow.



Gabian said:
Saturday, June 14, 2014 @ 10:35 PM

Hang on I've just broken my flip flop. I need to fix my flip flop with a piece of string so that I can walk the twelve kilometres tomorrow morning to get my water for the week.

That is rural living......

Please don't tell me about rural living......


eggcup said:
Saturday, June 14, 2014 @ 11:59 PM

Write your own blog. You're boring me. You and your flip-flops.


1forchill said:
Thursday, June 26, 2014 @ 1:31 PM

Cant say Gabian is all wrong and your last comment is rude .
As for holiday rentals in your place , do you really think anybody
would enjoy your so called screaming neighbour ?
Seems youre very bored naturally , and need action you cant find
in your hood . Could it be that your neighbours would love to see the back of you , once and for all ...


Gabian said:
Thursday, June 26, 2014 @ 2:38 PM

Thanks very much for your support on those comments 1forchill.

If you haven't already read it then please read eggcup's blog of 19th May. I think you may find that interesting as well, especially when referring to 'holiday rentals in your place'.

Please take a look 1forchill and thanks again......


eggcup said:
Thursday, June 26, 2014 @ 2:38 PM

Give me strength. Another person who thinks they can psycho-analyse me. I don't look for conflict, but I also don't shy away from it and will stand up for myself. Some silly people think that means I look for that kind of action. How strange.
And you're another one who doesn't read the blog or comments accurately. It's an HISTORICAL ACCOUNT. I haven't seen that woman in years. Thank God.


eggcup said:
Thursday, June 26, 2014 @ 2:47 PM

Gabian. Why do you need support? Your first comment about my blog made a personal attack on me, saying I'm like 'a bull in a china shop'. You were also very patronising, saying I should 'chill' and implying that you would deal with the same issues I faced, in a far superior way to me. You also said I did things wrong and my builders were laughing at me. So why do you need support? What you're doing is attempting to bully me in fact, and now, like all bullies, you're pleased you've got another one to gang up against me. Luckily, I've seen and heard it all before on my blogs. And I know neither of you is worthy of my time, but I sometimes feel I owe it to other victims of negative comments on the internet, to point out how aggressors such as yourselves operate (for example, sandwiching the personal attacks between little comments about 'loving' my blogs).


Gabian said:
Thursday, June 26, 2014 @ 4:10 PM

My my, who got out of bed on the wrong side this morning......

I don't know if you noticed but I never asked for any support (maybe I should have worded my comment a little better for your sake), but it's good to know that I'm not the only one who thinks that you could have handled things a bit more diplomatically at the time.

It doesn't surprise me at all that you have 'seen and heard it all before' on your blogs, maybe you should read them back to yourself sometime.

When you talk about 'aggressors', please read your words against mine and tell me who uses the aggressive language.

Anyway eggcup, I hope you and your business continue to be as successful as you have previously stated......


1forchill said:
Friday, June 27, 2014 @ 8:03 AM

definition of a " gang" , as you put it , is imagining, leading and executing an action for a purpose .
I fail to see your use of the word in this instance , as Gabian and I are perfect strangers to each others , and never consulted beforehand to attack or agress you in any way , the comments you got are spontaneous and basically well meaning , from Gabian at any rate.
Personally, I find you very big headed , and very abusive through your blogs , and not the sort of person I would rent a place from, or simply have a pint with , assuming youre not barred from all
drinking places round your way ( true theres a distinct flavor of alcohol showing in your writing ) . Good luck to you , think you need it ...




eggcup said:
Friday, June 27, 2014 @ 10:15 AM

I don't need to look up definitions for simple words like 'gang;' I know one when I see one (or at least an attempt at creating one). And please don't tell me that when people insult me on a personal level that they're 'well meaning.' It's plain silly.
In addition, I suspect you are projecting regarding the references to alcohol. My spelling and grammar wouldn't be so excellent if I were on the sauce (yes, maybe I can be a bit big-headed, but I constantly point out my faults and mistakes in life too; something that my detractors do not have the balls to do).


Gabian said:
Friday, June 27, 2014 @ 3:02 PM

I'm going to use my charm once again.

I refer to you, eggcup when I say that I feel you have a great hatred of the male species coming from your readings.

I would like all the men out there to read eggcup's blogs twice and please read between the lines and seriously think about what I have just stated as you are reading.

Please tell me if I'm wrong......

I love women by the way before you decide to come up with some wise comment about what you think I should or should not say......


eggcup said:
Friday, June 27, 2014 @ 8:43 PM

As usual, you're very wide of the mark, Gabian. I've got no problem with men. I have quite a few male 'pals' on this site and in my life. They're the type of men who genuinely like women and for the right reasons, not the type who like women who stay in 'their place,' play the part of the lady etc.
My father was the person I have loved most in this world, with the exception of my own children; and as my mother ran off when I was a kid, if anything, I'd be more likely to dislike women... so I find your attempts at psycho-analysis puerile.
I make my judgements based on the individual characters and moral fibre of people and I don't give a bee baa boo if they're male, female, short, tall, black, white, gay, straight, able-bodied or disabled and so on. One pet hate of mine is posers; I like genuine people, people who can be themselves.
Therefore, I am also pals with women on this site who have very different ideas about Spain and very different experiences to mine. They respect my 'truth' and I respect theirs, because we know that we are all trying our best to be honest about our lives.
I find it strange then, to say the least, that you think I hate all men. I don't know where you got that from. Maybe you're insecure and like women who flatter men's egos. Hell will freeze over before I do that. And I do question the notion that you love women. What do you mean by that? What? All women? You prefer women to men? I don't understand the comment. It's like me saying I love black people. It's bizarre - or a strange, sexist generalisation; and inaccurate too as you don't love me and I'm a woman.


Gabian said:
Friday, June 27, 2014 @ 9:33 PM

Well eggcup, thank you for your life story, how sad, (not necessary).

Anyway you mention to me whether I prefer men or women. Well that's quite simple really.

I prefer to go out on the razz with men but I prefer to sleep with women, how about that then...... so you could say I like them both equally but not the same, if you know what I mean......

I love men and women in different ways, I was in the army for many years and would have caught a bullet for any of my mates on the front line and they the same for me. However, on the other hand if you are a bloke who hits his bird then I promise you will have to try and hit me first.

It's a difficult question for me to answer.

By the way, before you come out with some comment about the fact that I stated that I prefer to sleep with women, then NO, I don't use them, I love them......

I think you secretly like me don't you......


Gabian said:
Friday, June 27, 2014 @ 9:39 PM

Look eggcup, I have a very simple philosophy and I was taught this by my parents, and it goes......

Treat people the way you want to be treated. If they treat you well then treat them very well. If they treat you bad then treat them very bad.

I don't act, I react......

Is that wrong......


eggcup said:
Friday, June 27, 2014 @ 11:29 PM

Hey, Gabian. If you say you think I like you, then that means you like me (projection once more). Shit. I think we're flirting.


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