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My books. Spain. Observations on life.

Off to UK
15 December 2012 @ 10:48

Some of our family, who live well inland, stayed with us last evening/night, as we are only circa 15 minutes from Malaga, makes sense as they needed to be at the airport for 0800. They're going via EasyJet so not quite as spiteful as RyanAir. My sister in Law is wearing about eight layers of clothes, so that her cases aren't over the stupid limit. I told her to tell the Security Lady, if she gets 'frisked', that it's b cold in the UK...!!

I'm buying a house in the UK at the moment, so had to have a survey done. Ninety percent of people said I should go ahead.

There's only one thing worse than an Estate Agent, in my opinion, and even that can be lanced, drained, and then surgically dressed.

My wife had a crash in her car. When the police arrived she stood by her wrecked car and pointed out that the man was obviously intoxicated, he still had a half empty bottle of whiskey in his hand. The Policeman said, "Look lady, a man can drink what the hell he likes in his own conservatory!"

My sister lives very quietly in the countryside in Norfolk. Her house is her passion in life, and she's very lucky to have a professional roofer living next door in case she needs to get felt laid down in the loft.

I notice that a popular thing in the home to do with lace curtains now is to gather them up in the middle. Looks a bit, to me anyway, like a woman who'se been to the loo, and unknown to her, got the back of her skirt stuck in her knickers.

My wife has a saying. 'How do you know if it's time to wash the dishes, and clean the house? Answer: You look inside your pants.....if you find a penis in there, it's not time !'

My nephew works in Burger King. The other day George Osborne the Chancellor came in. He said, "Give me two whoppers". My nephew replied, "The British people love you, and you're doing a great job with the British economy".

My nephews first job was painting white lines down roadways, but he packed it in before he went round the bend.

I've said it before about the system of having ASBOs for young people in the UK being great, we should remember, for some kids it will be the only qualifications they will ever get.

My wife and I are off to the UK next week to spend Christmas amongst all of my family. I shall also be attending an office party, which reminds me, Remember a dog is for be careful, if you are unmarried, who you dance with at those office parties.....

I remember years ago I took my Gran, who had never ever seen the sea, to Great Yarmouth. We stood on the promenade for about ten minutes staring at the sea, and then she said, "Is that all it does?"

Weather in the UK at the moment is grim, either seven below or pouring. Never mind it will soon be Spring, then Summer.You always know when it's summer in the UK.....the rain is a lot warmer.

I hope you all have a very peaceful Christmas.

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