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My books. Spain. Observations on life.

Roadworks
07 June 2015 @ 10:45

In the area where I have a villa in Spain there is plenty of pipe-laying going on with the accompanying chaos. UK Health and Safety would have a field day here. Inadequate signs, poor shielding off of large deep holes, etc,. and untrained traffic marshallers who generally stand around holding a round blue sign with a little white arrow on it which occasionally he'll wave to indicate you can proceed. All very well except the other day a friend was waved on as was another car at the other end of the roadworks travelling in the opposite direction! The contractors leave the roads in a terrible state, luckily I drive a 4x4.

My lady and I went to Cinesur cinema complex and watched 'The Gunman' starring Sean Penn. He's not a favourite of mine but it was a decent action film, with lots of stars in it. We went on Wednesday, which is the cheapest day for seat prices. We paid 3.70€ each (£2.60 approx.) The complex in Myramar is excellent. Comfortable clean armchair type seats with oodles of leg-room.

I went into my local bar here yesterday, and in the toilet was a large sign which read, 'WET PAINT' on the wall. I wondered whether it was a warning or an instruction........

My lady is in the UK at the moment choosing kitchens etc for the new place which we move into in late August, early September. She's got the children and grandchildren around her, so she's in her element. She knows all about our kids dentist appointments,romances, favourite foods, favourite TV shows, best friends, etc etc. Me? Well, I'm aware that there are some annoying short people living in the house.

I daresay M & S, Next, and other similar stores will see a dramatic rise in sales now that she's in Norwich. It's funny how a man will pay £2 for a £1 item that he needs, whereas a woman, especially my wife, will pay £1 for a £2 item that she dosn't need, but it's in a Sale.

A lady friend of mine is a member of the W.I. She's really excited about their 2016 nude calendar. Apparently Jo Brand has been asked to appear as Ms December, standing behind a bungalow.

I'm getting the pool ready for the usual July and August visitors. Very close to the pool I have positioned a 'fridge which is full of wine, and San Miguel. That's my son sorted, now just got to think of something for the kids.....

My granddaughter was filling in a job ap the other day, she tells me. One question asked if there was any insanity in the family. She replied yes, her grandpa, her uncle, and her brother all support Norwich City.

An important message for all men, check your testicles very carefully for testicular cancer, and do it regularly. However, be careful. I got arrested last week.....well, I was in Waitrose....

My wife has just 'phoned and told me I have to do some jobs. She's left a list on the calendar in the kitchen. I respect that totally, I'm not daft.  She says if I haven't completed all the jobs by the time she returns, she'll make me watch two episodes each of Eastenders and Coronation Street, or, as I call them, 'Benders' and 'Constipation Street'. To get a male part in Benders all you have to do is not shave, mumble in a deep voice, and drink a lot in the local pub. To get a female part you have to cry a lot, keep saying 'innit', and drink a lot in the local pub..

News Flash: British scientists have found something that dulls the brain, makes many angry, and promotes nausea immediately,  they've named it 'Politics'.

Better get on with the jobs.

Placido Domingo.



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