I see the turn out for the elections of Police & Crime Commissioners in the UK is very small. I can understand people not being interested in the Police bit, but we have a lot of crime in the UK and we really need a Crime Commissioner to look after those poor criminals. Of course, he or she would have to be able to speak fluent Romanian.
When I left school I took one of those Career Aptitude Tests. On my score they considered that I could either take up road sweeping or plead insanity. I told the Youth Employment guys that I was willing to start at the bottom wherever I worked....They said I was aiming too high.
So being unemployed I used to sit in the local park. One day I watched two Council workers. One dug a hole, then they had a smoke and a cup of tea, then the other man filled the hole in. They then had another cigarette and a cup of tea, moved on a few paces and did the same thing again, one dug the hole, fag and tea, then the other filled the hole in. I was intrigued. I asked one of the men what on earth they were doing, he replied that, "There's normally three of us, but the third man who plants the trees is sick today".
I applied to the local TV station for a job as the man who totted up the Pollen Count, which I saw on the weather part of the news in the summer. They said there was no such job and hung the phone up. I worked it out why there was no such job. Too difficult....every time anyone sneezed you'd have to start all over again.
I thought I wanted to be a Fireman, but it turned out that I just liked smashing in doors and breaking windows with a big axe.
My brother gave me good advice when I thought about joining the Army. "If at first you don't succeed, Bomb Disposal is probably not for you, Joseph".
As you may know, my wife is blonde. She lacks confidence too. She got a job as a Receptionist, but kept answering the phone, "Hello, can you help me?"
My wife came from a poor family, her Father was in the timber business, but only in a small way. He sold toothpicks. Her Mother was a professional carol singer.
My wife's off to her Art class very soon. She loves Art. I suppose I should be jealous but he's such a nice guy, and he's had a hard life. Prison is tough you know, especially fifteen years of it for armed robbery.