Living with the Presidente.

On Saturday evening I saw the kids ( 33, 31 and nearly 13 going on 30 ) off on thier journey back to UK. I tried not to cry, but failed miserably, AGAIN ! ! !
It's a bit of a sad time for El Presidente and me too because his Mum died last week and it's still a shock even though she was 89 and not too well and hadn't been for some time.
We are off to the UK for the funeral tomorrow and will return on Sunday.
So it will be..................... , no pool aggro and no holiday maker aggro for a few days................hasta luego mi amigos.

I am NOT going down to out Communal pool again. Never, ever, nada.

I was accosted by a massive rubber ring yesterday and when I asked ( nicely ) for them to remove it from the pool I was treated to more swear words than I know myself.

Later the same 'lady' demanded that I remove a sponge ball from the little pool as I had picked on her. I was minding my own business reading my book at the time and had not noticed the offending ball. So I walked down to the little pool with her in hot persuit and lowered my voice and asked the four tots in the pool who belonged to the ball. The unfortunate little lad who was holding it let go sharpish so I gently asked the same question again. Meanwhile the demon ball had lodged itself in the hands of a little girl.
JUST GUESS WHOSE LITTLE GIRL SHE WAS ? ? ?
And the 'lady' yelled, don't blame my  ******* daughter, it's not her ******* ball.

 ( here we go again ) So I asked her, did she ( the 'lady' ) did she want the ball out of the pool or not? Don't you talk to my ******* child...........................and on..............and on...................and on..........................................
Stop, says I, enough........................................but she went on.........and on....................and on..............
Right says I, sort it out yourself, BUT, if I see you or yours with an inflatable, a ball or breaking ANY of the Community rules, I shall phone the Guardia.
Oh no you ******* won't she yelled, only the Presidente can do that.
WRONG, says I, just try it and watch me.

Then I went home for a coffee and a cigarette.

Today, I flew in the face of logic and went to the pool again.

Group of early teens, yelling, bombing and jumping in. OK. Explain to the that it is quite dangerous to act in this way and the notices request you do not do this.
'No comprehede', says the biggest off them. 'He don't understand Mrs' says another. But you can read can't you I asked. Course I can. And you can see the pictures? Yeah. So what part of DO NOT JUMP; DO NOT BOMB do you NOTunderstand ? ? ?
He don't understand none of it Mrs, he's Spanish.
Tell him to have a look at the board then because it's WRITTEN IN SPANISH, ENGLISH and GERMAN..................AND, while you're at it, take a look yourself.

Calm...............................for ten minutes.

Enter child about 12 years old, angelic looking with the biggest pair of those 'croc' shoes. No Shower ( of course not ! ! ! ) flings one of his shoes into the crowded pool and flings himself in after it ! ! ! 
I look on in amazement.
He does it again.
I am weary with all this.
I approach him and ask him, a, not to throw his shoes into the pool and b, not to jump in.
He glares at me and shrugs his shoulders and turns away................and..................THROWS BOTH BLOODY SHOES INTO THE POOL and HIMSELF AFTER THEM.
There is a jet of steam coming from my head and it is NOT cigarette smoke. Keep calm Karen.
OK, enough is enough, have another quiet word. The kid promptly sits on the edge of the pool and puts his shoes ON then stands up and jumps in the pool ! ! ! He drags himself and his bloody shoes out of the pool and leaves.

Meanwhile the origional group are eyeing me , obviously waiting for me to leave so I did by the rear gate. As soon as the gate closed, I heard the telltale splash, so I re entered by the top gate and there he was poised for flight again.
Unfortunately he could not regain his balance and he fell in rather ungainly. when he emerged I mentioned Guardia to him and he too made a sharp exit.

I DO NOT want to be a pool policeman.

I shall inform El Presidente that I want my Community Fees reduced because I will NOT be using the pool again.

So, is it BOMBING or shall I use a BOMB ? ? ?

                                               

Today has been a continual nuisence !

I really don't mind about having no TV, but obviously lots of other people do !! And most of them having been ringing my doorbell or phone consistantly ALL day.

With one exception....................................an owner rang the doorbell to collect his new Main door key.

So I checked El presidente's list of owners who had collected ( or not ) thier key and there was a signature beside his apartment number. So I showed him, but he said it was not his signature and I ( Moi ? ) must have given his key to someone else.
Now, whatever else my beloved ( El Presidente ) is, he is thorough ! ! If there is a signature there, he will have made sure it will be that of an owner or there would be an authorisation form from that owner, authorising someone else to collect the key ( and they would need identification ! )
So I asked the chap to check again and confirm it was not him who had signed for the key. NO definately not him, he says and marches grimly down the corridor without a by your leave. Oh well, if he doesn't want to get in the front door, that's his lookout as long as he doesn't wake me at 3am to let him in.

So I make a relaxing cup of coffee and am just about to sit down when the blasted doorbell goes again. 

It's the same chap but with reinforcements, namely, his wife and daughter. So without further ado, I shove the signature form under their noses ( as opposed to anywhere else ! ) and his daughter says, Dad, that's your signature.

Hmmmmmmmmm.................................he had signed for it and MORE than that , the 
NEW MAIN DOOR KEY WAS SWINGING FROM HIS KEY RING ! !

My coffee is cold, but my temper is HOT.

                                               

El Presidente has had to go back to UK for a short time.

Before he went, he told me which keys were for what and all the relevent phone numbers should the world fall in during his absence.

 He also told me how to turn on the tele, in fact, he wrote down the instructions for me. Don't laugh, I don't 'do' TV, so I don't turn it on.
 Never.

 Anyway, my granddaughter ( nearly 13 going on 30 ) is here at the mo, so I delegated the job to her.

 In the UK , you just had to press one button, here it's several in a specific order on two remotes ( and anybody knows that remotes are a man thing !! )

Anyway, the crux of the matter is that we hadn't turned the TV on yesterday so were unaware of the pandanonium taking place...............................UNTIL........................................
YES.... the doorbell and the phone have been over active.........................................

So.......everyone take note, por favor.

AND I AM NOT A TV ENGINEER !!

I CANNOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT !!

This situation is not covered by the Horizontal Property Law and does not fall under the duristriction of El Presidente's ( or Mrs El Presidente's in his absence )

                                                

This afternoon it has been the turn of the female species !!

An owner haven't seen for two years rang the bell ( El Presidente's missing....surprise !! ). I was really pleased to see her and opened my mouth to tell her so, but before I got a word in edgeways she said, I'm not paying any more Community Fees, I paid the same as I paid last year and that's that. She left.

Someone else called about 10 minutes later ( female ) to tell me her washing machine was making a funny noise ( so am I ) and could El Presidente have a look at it. Sorry I said but El Presidente is out ( again ).

And some female has got her electronic key stuck in the pool gate ( HOW ? ) and messed up the whole system and El Presidente is back to grunting again.

SO I'M GOING TO BUY A CAT................a neutered cat ! !

                                          

                                         

                                                                    

My life is full of 'grumpy' men, both old and young.

Last night, a seven year old male stuck a key in the main back door and broke the lock and the 24 hour locksmith ( male ) said he couldn't  come till 11am today ( so what does 24 hour mean ? )

This morning ( early ) a chap rang the doorbell to say he hadn't got any electrickery. Dia you pay the bill asks El Presidente. It's on direct debit says he, but  I've got a new bank account and did not give it to Ibedrola..............

Straight after that the phone rang and an owner from England ( male ) wanted to know why he was on the debtor's list ( how does he know cos we only put it in the notice board at 5pm yesterday? ) Simple answer............because you've not paid your dues !!

Off to the pool for a cooling dip to be confronted by the annual blow up dingy with large male and four little males. Please take the boat out of the pool says I. * ###***###*** says he ( I think he meant NO )

Then I opened an e mail which was enquiring as to why his name had been displayed on the debtor's list in 2004. WHAT, why has it taken you so long to ask ? and by the way, you are STILL in arrears !!

Enter El Presidente. Hi Darling, you ok? ( from me ). Grunt, from El Presidente. What's wrong ( me ). Grunt from El Presidente. Ok, it's going to be one of THOSE conversations is it?

So I'm off to find a woman to talk to now cos I DO NOT want another conversation with a grumpy male !!!
NO SEX.......................................just logical conversation !!

Just sometimes I wonder what all this is about...................LIFE, I mean.

Here we are in this glorious sun which is too hot to sit out in and too hot to sit in in and 'somebody' has managed to twist the frame in of the glass covering the post boxes. WHY and HOW ??  I shall never know !! But I do know that it is just another job for El Presidente !!

I'm sure that when we came over here nearly six years ago, El Presidente did not see life as an unpaid 'odd job' man.

Prior to this 'life', El Presidente's 'odd job' experience was minimal, mainly because he is a perfectionist so when he started something, it took ages to finish because of this striving for perfection. Consequent 'odd jobs' were therefore delayed due to the time it took to do just one 'odd job'. ( and I learned pretty quickly to ignore those 'odd jobs' that needed doing or do them myself...................I am not a perfectionist so it took me less time, though the result was the same !! )
Now, there are so many 'odd jobs' that no one else seems to do, so El Presidente goes off with his tools to do them. There are always light bulbs to change, door frames to sort, door closers to straighted, bits of painting to be done and OF COURSE.............doormats to be found.

Still, at least these 'odd jobs' can be done in the SUN....................................I'll just mention to El Presidente that I have several pictures that I have been waiting five years for him to hang and the kitchen light bulb needs replacing before I have to cook in the dark.................................................................AT LEAST, I will mention this to El Presidente........when he gets back from sorting out the glass door frame on the post boxes !!!!

                                 

                       P.S...........El Presidente's name is NOT 'Fred'.
                                         

My door mat's gone !!

I've had it for 5 years and it's shaped like a little house and I'm quite partial to it.

They've left me another one though, but it's very dull..............................

                             

So where is mine ????

I walked all round the corridors of each floor and it was nowhere in sight. So I had a quick shufty in the garage area but it wasn't there.
I walked round the periferal road but I didn't find my mat, so I went home and had a cup of coffee and a cigarette and sulked a bit.

El Presidente came back from whichever 'important' business he'd been on and told me that we have a strange doormat outside and where was ours ?
Don't know, says I, it's gone walkabout.

So after a while, I thought I'd brave the pool and cool off a bit, so off I went with my towel and flip flops with electronic key in hand...................................................................

And there it was !!!!!.................................just outside the pool gate...........................WHY ????

I have absolutely NO IDEA......................but what I do know is that I've got my doormat back  AND a strange dull one too.......................................soooooooooo..................anybody lost a doormat ??