Just something really to think about..............

Well that's it, all packed, ready to go, leaving in 4 hours so in the immortal words of the Bay City Rollers

Must be Mr Bean's brother

The Mammogram !

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath," she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!

Congratulations to all the kids who were born in the 1940's, 50's, 60's and 70’s !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who (mebbee) smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a tin, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a van - loose - was always great fun.
We drank water from the garden hosepipe and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cakes, white bread and real butter and drank pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no text messaging, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We played with worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we didn’t poke out anybody’s eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Local teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good and while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

PS -The BIG type is because, at your age, your eyes are probably shot out!

HI THERE Morerosado, just wanted to say loved your post about chidren of our time lol.... made me chuckle.

My friend sent me this & I thought I'd share it with you.

Thanks f0r sharing the gift with us M0re

Julia

I thought about this gift Morerosada, and:

I thought:

Love simply. - Easy, it costs nothing,chill, and love flows.

Love generously. - Be nice and love your fellow man, it costs nothing.

Care deeply. Speak from the bottom of your heart, - an acid tongue eats itself to death.

Leave the rest to God - He watches and takes heed. He repays your bad sins in the end.

What do you think on this Morerosada?

"Edited due to spelling of the word fellow"

I'm just nipping to the shop for some Dove, anyone else want some too. Good stuff, innit ?

I always wondered why it took the missus so long to get ready to go out at nght.

'Just going to put a bit of make up on and do my hair be with you in a min' (two hours later)

The Lighter side Of Getting Old

I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most
advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.
It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1965.

Symptoms:

1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.  [ Done that!]

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail!   [That too!]


3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. [Yep!]

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. [Who
me?]

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.  [Well fooey!]

6. Causes you to hit 'SEND' before you've finished.
[Oh no - not again!]


7. Causes you to hit 'DELETE' instead of 'SEND.' 
[and I just hate that!]

8. Causes you to hit 'SEND' when you should 'DELETE.'
[Oh No!]

IT IS CALLED THE 'C-NILE VIRUS.' 

Aww Karen

EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!

ALL ARE WELCOME OPEN TO MEN ONLY




Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:



DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS

Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS! - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Round table discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY

Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS

Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum



DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?

Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH

PowerPoint presentation