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Your Spanish Psychologist.

Your Spanish Psychologist to help you in your adjustment to Spain. Spanish Psychology in English language

And...what about my identity???
Monday, January 19, 2009

 

 

Going to live abroad implies questioning ones own identity, ones cultural reference. Habits can change when confronted with a new culture, especially when this new culture is very different from your own.

 

It can be very difficult and even painful to have to accept that you need to change a part of who you are, change a part of your identity.

 

When people move abroad, they can try to strongly keep their cultural habits and language. It´s easier to do that, especially when you live among many of your fellow compatriots and your languaje is a wide internationally sponken one. This mentality can be reinforced by a certain mistrust and lack of knowledge of the culture and the way of life of the foreing country where you will live.

 

Although the situation as explained above, seems comfortable and requires little adaptation, it´s rather the opposite. If we don´t make an effort to integrate,  we will make our lives harder and more difficult.

 

Opening up to the new cultures doesn´t mean we lose a part of our own identity, but the opposite. Our deepest self will never change, we would only modify some aspects of our personality which could make our lives richer and more interesting. In the end, change is for the better and sometimes necessary..

 

Although it seems logical and absurd, there is no better advice to integration that, simply, wanting and allowing ourselves to do it.

 

These are the basic steps you should follow when you arrive in Spain:

 

1)      Although your language is internationally spoken, try to learn Spanish to deal with spanish people. Although it doesn´t seem necessary, it´s essential. Even if they can understand your language, we don´t like people trying and making an effort to come  near our language. For us that would be very impolite, even more when we are demanded to speak in their language when they are living in our country (and not only on holidays).  If you try you will be able to comunicate with spanish people  and, apart from that, they will valorate your effort to get to know us and try to be closer to us. So, in the end, you will be accepted in a nicer way.

 

2)      Try to make spanish friends. Don´t relate yourself only with people of your same nationality. Spanish people will introduce you in the spanish history and costums, making easier your adaptation.

 

3)      In the same way, it´s good for you to keep your relationship with friends of your same nationality , but being very carefull not becoming in “ghetos”.

 

4)      When you need proffesional services (doctor, electricians, hairdressers..)...give an opportunity to Spanish workers. Each one of us have our way of behaving, of working and our time to do it..but all of us are valids!.  We should trust, unless a little bit, in the unknown, trying to ignore the strange of the novelty.

 

      It´s not neither better nor worst, it´s simply different. But, when we speak about reparing and home visits (by the spanish proffesinal), you should  be cautious and not to get ansious.  Spanish people take their own time calmy...so, lay on a sofa and.. wait!! Ha, ha!

 

5)      Let´s talk now about ways of comunication. It´s very good using newspapers, TV channels and TV programs of our country. In this way you will not feel so far away from everything that is happening in your country and from everything you liked and you were used to. But, apart from that, it´s important to integrate all this i have mentioned above with spanish newspapers and tv channels too. In another way, how can we know what is happening in the country we live at the present?. How can we take part in  people conversations about what they watch on Tv?

 

6)      The same happens with meals . If you live in Costa del Sol, you can feel lucky. There are a lot of  English restaurants there. But, in the end, you have the same problem. So you should alternate sometimes with Spanish food and timetable. You must realize how most of the social meetings with the new Spanish friends group  will take place around a dish, during a dinner or a lunch.. You will also take profit from the very healthy Mediterranean diet.

 

In summary, the main obstacle to get used to a new country and integrated with its people, can be we ourself.

 

We should start having couriosity and respecting the new culture, opening our minds to get to know it. In this way, we will find their arms openend. It only implies  to make an effort and to forget the idea of your original culture as the only and better one for us.

 

Simply, try it!



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