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My wife has just taken some chicken pieces out of the freezer to cook for our dinner this evening. They were smelling like a basura bin! This is the third time that we have bought chicken from Carrefour, went straight home, put it straight into the freezer,and after withdrawing it with a view to cooking it have had the same result. Shan't buy fresh meat or chicken from them again. When we buy from Iceland, or Eroski we have had no problems with anything.

Now on Chapter 17 of "The Saturday Pledge - Book One", enjoying every single minute of writing it. This part of the trilogy is set in the 70's........ah! Those were the days.

I went to the doctors again today. He said "You've got hypochondria", I replied, "Oh God! Not that as well"

He said I should check regularly for testicular cancer. I said I wouldn't, the last time I did I got arrested. He said "How did that happen?".   I replied, "I was in Tesco's at the time"

I said to my Dad that I was going to become a vegetarian, and wouldn't eat anything that has intelligent life. "I see" said my Dad, "So you'd gladly eat Boris Johnson or George Osbourne"

I see Gordon Ramsey has a new book out, "Take Two Eggs, and F*** Off!" 

Isn't it a shame that the British media always take the opportunity to bash our achievements. Now its empty seats at some of the events. IOC people get tickets for seats and go from venue to venue. They can't be everywhere at once. I agree that empty seats are an eyesore, especially to those people who applied but couldn't get tickets, but usually there are reasons for it. In Beijing and Athens there were far more empty seats than in London for the early heats etc. I think they also build up our athletes chances of medals to such an extent that the pressure on them must be enormous. Why can't the media just report, instead of making quasi predictions and blowing up chances out of all proportions.

I see Barclays Bank have brought in good profit figures in spite of money set aside for being naughty. My bank manager went for a heart transplant but the hospital couldn't find the right sized stone.

People having a party two doors away last night until very late/early. Michael Jackson's 'Killer' booming out. I love Michael Jackson's music, but I often wonder if he would have been found guilty had he been black.

My wife paints.  My brother in law was looking at one of her art works. "It's a self portrait" she said to him. "Who of?" he asked. Trying to extract a paint brush from someones anus can be difficult unless they stand still, and stop screaming.

Well, the Olympic ceremony tonight is compulsive viewing for me. Please God that there are no more cock ups, aka Korean flag etc. I daresay I'll be glad, like the rest of us Brits, when it's all over. So many people have put so much effort into it that they deserve it to be a roaring success.

On Chapter 14 now of the first book of the trilogy, "The Saturday Pledge". Researching a 1974 scene and surprised that Dr Beeching's axe fell on Accrington train station. Had to rewrite a large part of the chapter! I shall never vote Tory again!.

Looking at some works of art on line with my grandson, we came acrossThe Venus de Milo. I told him that's what happens if you continuously bite your nails.

So it's summer in the UK. I missed it last year, I was brushing my teeth.

I was reading a book on great inventions last night, got to the chapter on Super Glue.......couldn't put it down.

Very nice review in TV Choice magazine this week on my book "The Tuesday Empire". Only problem is they have put some other authors photo in, instead of mine. I have hair and I don't wear glasses. Oh well, the thought was there.

Roll of thunder around today on the Costa del Sol, but quite a bit cooler which is a welcome relief at this time of year.

One of my favourite people June Whitfield, the actress, had a rose named after her, the catalogue described it as 'superb for bedding, best up against the wall'.

Just been reading The Eastern Daily Press, a Norwich daily paper. It reminded me that there are some very strange place and street names in Norfolk. Such as, 'Little Snoring', and 'Great Snoring', two smallish villages. Near where I live there is a lane called (at this point stop the children reading) 'Sluts Hole Lane'. I kid you not!

I have to go to Norfolk soon to do some talks in libraries about my books. I think I shall start my speeches like this, "As Henry VIII said to his wives, "I won't keep you long".

My lady and I went to see Batman at the Cinesur in the Myramar last evening. As always with these movies the story lines leave a lot to be desired, but the special effects are outstanding. Good escapist stuff.

Nice to see the Euro versus the Pound rate is in British pensionistas favour. Pensionistas have taken a bit of a hammering over the last three years, so good that it's turning, for the time being anyway, to their advantage a little.

Just completed Chapter 11 on "The Saturday Pledge - Book One". Great fun doing it. My wife proof read it saying, "Where on earth do you get these idea's from?" My stock reply is "God only knows". And that's probably the truth of it.

My grandson flew back from South Africa this morning, and has been regaling us with his adventures, aka Table Top Mountain, Safari, beating the South African schools at rugby,etc etc. Out of 8 games, Norfolks' Wymondham College won 7. He's bought us both a present back, but we've got to wait until mid August to receive them. The family come to stay with us for 3 weeks then.

I told my wife that I saw that the Fuengirola Council have put Gondolas on the estuary by the Myramar complex. Her reply: "I just hope they feed them regularly that's all".

My son in law is a policeman. He stopped a suspect late one night and the conversation went like this:

Policeman: "Could I have your name?"

Suspect: "Well, you could have, but that would be an incredible coincidence".

Brilliant Bradley does it for GB. Hope he can emulate his feat in the Olympics. You see lots of sports cyclists on the roads in Spain, but not too many in the UK. Perhaps that will all change now.

Felt so sorry for Adam Scott in The Open. Reminds me of the Frenchman Van de Velde a few years ago. As a golfer you just can't see why they didn't play lay up irons on the last couple of holes to preserve their leads. But they play under different pressures than hackers like me and my pals. I always buy the wrong golf balls.....mine are attracted to trees, bushes, sand, water, and white posts that mark the 'out of bounds' areas !!!

I've decided to turn my latest book "The Saturday Oath" into a trilogy, otherwise it will be about 1700 pages, and my publishers already have grey hairs from their association with me! I am renaming it too. The first book will be The Saturday Pledge - Rancliffe, the second will be The Saturday Pledge - Cambridge, and the third will be The Saturday Pledge - Government. Been planning them for a while, now comes the enjoyable bit, writing them.

I've just been out to the shops for my wife. There was a young woman there with shorts on so brief and so tight I could hardly breathe.....

My publishers contacted me yesterday to tell me that they have reached an agreement with Bookworld, and my books will be sold in their stores in Spain from now on. The first batch of "The Tuesday Empire" should reach the shelves later next week.

Watched a bit of the GB versus Brazil game last night. Not very inspiring. Football is getting predictable and a tad boring methinks.

Watched a little of The Open on BBC 2 yesterday. Tony Jacklyn may have been a great golfer but not the same can be said for his commentating skills. He sort of drones instead of talks. Peter Allis is still the master, in spite of his advancing years.

I was sitting watching the stars late last night thinking how beautiful the universe looked, and after about half an hour I thought, 'Before the winter rains come, I really must put a roof on this toilet'.

Spent part of this afternoon with Nancy Holt, the artist who has painted three of my novels front covers. She is preparing the cover for my fourth book, entitled "Operation Thursday" which will come out in 2013. She has infinite patience, and needs it with me, especially on this cover as I wanted her to change almost completely the look of it all. Bless her, she didn't blink an eyelid..... just smashed the canvas and easel over my head, and set her two big dogs on me! On hot days like today though it's quite pleasant to have no seat in your trousers....

Only 4 weeks and my darling daughter Heidi comes out with hubby Andrew, who is a police sergeant, and their offspring, Daniel and Jessica. Jess is on holiday in Portugal with a friends family, she is a 16 year old coeliac, and years ago it must have been a nightmare getting gluten free stuff. Not so nowadays. All the supermarkets and restaurants, even in Spain and Portugal, cater for them. Dan is in South Africa at the moment on a school rugby tour for two weeks. His Mum & Dad gave him £100 in cash, and obtained a credit card for him to use as well. Picture the scene, a 13 year old at the ATM in SA using a card for the first time. He took so long to imput the correct information when trying to withdraw cash that the machine kept his card! that was yesterdays phone call to Mum. His Mum got another call at 6am this morning telling her that the lens had come out of his camera. His Mum is a lot of fantastic things, but a 'Techy' is not one of them. She told him to wrap it in something so that it doesn't get damaged further. He phoned a few minutes later and asked if it was OK to wrap it in newspaper...

My wife said I tricked her into getting married......I told her she was pregnant.

My wifes brother is really stupid. He worked in a bank....they caught him stealing pens....

Lovely evening yesterday, friends and family around for dinner. Lots of laughter and daft stories. Our good friend Kay Churchill was there, she heads up The English Academy in Arroyo de la Miel. This school teaches English to mainly Spanish people, and is very successful, and so it should be, all her staff are highly trained, dedicated, and certificated. They make learning simple and fun.

Sad today, as I took my son and his lady to the airport to fly home. He had a good break I think, and needed it. Heading up more than one company takes its toll, and just lazing around in the sun doing pretty much nothing was a good way for him to unwind and recharge the preverbials.

The Olympic chaos aka G4S continues. How the boss has the brass neck to stay in his job is beyond me.

We now hear that HSBC have been laundering drug money for many years. The banking industry appears to have become a Mafia type criminal bunch, but one where people only lose their jobs, and nothing else, when found out. I think that Bob Diamond is lucky not to be facing criminal charges, and maybe others are too. Even maybe some in the Bank of England. What kind of message does all this sleaze send to our young people?

Saw an Inmobiliaria ad today that said. "Quality homes wanted for ten ants". Reminds me of when Peter Noone was paged at JFK airport, "Would Mr No One please pick up a pager phone"

"The Saturday Oath" got a good few hours worth this afternoon. We're off out all day tomorrow so glad I got stuck in today.

My son asked me to name two English football teams with a swear word in their name, I got Arsenal, then gave up. His solution for the other one was 'Bloody Ipswich'. I know there is another one but please, children may read this !!

It's a holiday here in Benalmadena today, but I shall spend a full day of writing on "The Saturday Oath". Friends coming round for dinner later, so a late night in prospect.

Boris Johnson on the TV news this morning. I often think he could make it as a 'stand up'. No script needed, just ask him questions, hilarious. Some people think he is a wit.....I think they are half right.

When we were having dinner at a restaurant in Benalmadena Pueblo the other evening a young man in a car drove by very slowly. You couldn't hear his engine or anything else for that matter, the car music centre was so loud...boom! boom! boom! I often think the authorities should set young drivers an additional test, checking their IQ. Then, they should restrict the car music centre wattage output to be no higher than the driver's IQ. That way the world would be significantly quieter I am sure.

Just received word that TV Choice magazine are going to review "The Tuesday Empire" in their 25th of July edition.

 Sad day tomorrow, number one son and his lady go back to the UK. He was very proud of himself yesterday, he completed a 100 piece jigsaw after two days of trying. Reason he was so proud is that it said on the box, "6 - 8 years".

Happy holiday.

'Tis rather warm today on the Costa del Sol. My son had his lunch in the swimming pool.....three cans of San Miguel !

Just paid to have my car serviced, rather expensive but needs to be done. Peace of mind is worth the money too. Amazing how you seem to lose your independence somewhat when you don't have a car,isn't it?

If anyone out there in this big world knows of any contacts in the film industry, I would be mighty obliged if they could put his/her contact details on a comment to me. I'm writing a screenplay, as well as my latest novel, and need some advice from 'the horses mouth' so to speak.

I noticed on Thursday night how busy the restaurants were in Benalmadena Pueblo, especially in The Plaza where we sometimes go. I guess they need to offset the quiet non season by making hay in July, Aug, and Sept. We're there again this evening, always a joy. Talented musicians play on the periphery of the tables but never spoil your night.

"The Saturday Oath" is needing a lot of research at the moment, especially some of the public schoolboy's ancestors, and businesses. Hellishly interesting though, and it just shows you're never too old to learn. I always thought a 'Poop Deck' on a boat was the place where you....well...you know.

I met a friend the other day, he said, "I tried to kill myself yesterday by taking 1000 aspirin" I asked "What happened?", he replied "Oh, after the first two I felt better".

His brother is dyslexic, last week he walked into a bra.  He's got an awful memory too, so writes everything he needs to remember down in his dairy.

Hope you have a peaceful and cool weekend.

I started this blog a minute ago and it has just disappeared...the wonderful world of the PC!!

Just about got through the Hannah Murray Book Show yesterday. The longish drive to the San Pedro Studio is not good for a bad back, but anyway it's done now. She's a very gracious host.

Going to spend the whole day today on "The Saturday Oath". The two heroes/villains meet at their new Public School. My wife has read the first 6 chapters and says it is 'awesome'. Amazing what the promise of a new dress will get you....

My son and his lady have gone to the Tivoli Market, and then they are going on to the beach. My wife is at her Art class, so the house is quiet and peaceful....until the phone started ringing that is. My grandaughter Laura called, she is a nurse, and has just this morning been accepted for training as a midwife. She is so dedicated, like most NHS staff. She phoned up ecstatic with the news. Great girl.

Two intellectuals were sitting together at a nudist camp. One said, "I presume you have read Marx?" The other replied, "Yes, I think it's these wicker chairs".

Just out of bed, still have back spasm. but promised Hannah Murray I'd be there for 3 to 3.30. Not looking forward to the car journey, but it's got to be done. On top of everything my Honda CRV is in for service and I have to take my wife's Honda Jazz, which is much smaller. Ho hum...such is life.

Out to dinner tonight with Number One Son, back permitting.

No golf this weekend due to my back. So I shall concentrate on my book The Saturday Oath........there's always a silver lining.

Just watched Theresa May defending the urgent deployment of 3500 TA soldiers as G4S have admitted they don't have enough personnel for the Olympic security set up. Great time to tell her, just two weeks to the off. I would make G4S pay for all the expenses of the extra cost of the 3500 troops, plus some sort of additional penalty.

I just pray that the Olympics goes off well. So many people have put so much hard work and effort into it.

 Mr McMurray, the Scot, lost in the final. He still has time on his side to get there. I couldn't watch it as I have a spasmed back, and laid flat on my bed for the last day or so. Helicopter Sanitarios came out. After my wife's phone call they were at my villa within 15 minutes. Brilliant people, brilliant service. By a mile the best annual expense that we have. Even if the young lady paramedic does like to play darts with my bottom.

Number one son says I'll do anything to get out of buying them dinner, short of emigration that is.

From The Telegraph: "Dying is to cost more at Kings Lynn Norfolk. Higher burial charges are to be introduced. The increased cost of living is blamed".

Men live on average now to 74, and women to 82. So when I turn 73 I intend to have a sex change operation........

My doctor told me I should get out of breath at least 3 times a week. So I'm going to take up smoking. I'm also trying to lose weight so I have 2 diets at the moment....well, you don't get enough to eat on just one.

What's the difference between Roast Beef and Pea Soup? Anyone can roast beef.

Ah well, better get back to bed and lay horizontal.......really boring existence, although it does give me a chance to work out plots for my next book.....always a silver lining.

Well done Mr Murray. You are no longer a Scot....You are British! Unless of course you lose on Sunday, and then you revert back.

Pleasant conversation with my bank manager this morning. I wonder if he, or his bank, has ever been called "an incompetent thieving **** ***** (rhymes with 'wit louse'). The annoying thing is that banks can lend up to 4 times what they have on account at any one time. Therefore Barclays could lend money on the basis of my transfer for the time it took to get from the UK to my account. My Dad would turn in his grave if he heard me say this, but I wish the 2 Governments would 'Nationalise' all the banks in the UK & Spain, and whilst they are at it, they should nationalise the utilities too. Both rip off the British & Spanish people on an ongoing basis with no come-uppance whatsoever. Our Electricity here has just been increased in price by 25%. No discussion. It's pay or you'll get cut off & they'll embargo your bank account.

My number one son arrives tomorrow with his lady. He's just been elected on to his towns council. If he gives me any "Call me Councillor nonsense", I shall just remind him that I am 'The Lord Of Loch Borralan'. He's seen the paperwork so he knows its true.

He wanted to be a Bus Conducter when he grew up, until I told him that they don't get to keep all the money they collect.

Hope you have a pleasant weekend.

Just watched the Olympic Torch making its way from East Anglia's most beautiful City - Norwich, to Ipswich. I once spent a year in Ipswich, it was a Sunday, and it was closed.

Transferred some money from my UK bank on Monday to Barclays here in Spain. Both banks agreed it would be in my account in 3 working days.......WRONG! Nationwide got it right, Barclays.es have now held my money in Madrid for 2 days, and it may not arrive until Monday next. Tomorrow morning an extremely irate Englishman will present himself at Barclays Bank for a little chat with the Manager.

My wife went into a bank once and asked if she could open a joint accoint. "Certainly" said the Teller, "Who is the joint holder?" My wife replied "Oh, anyone will do, as long as they have pots of money".

Incidentally, my wife is blond. She is half Danish & half Welsh. She speaks fluent Yorkshirese! I said to her once., "If you found a Million Pounds, what would you do?" She said, "I'd find out who had lost it, and if he was poor, I'd give it back".

I rest my case.

I have a big problen with Andy Murray. I want to continue writing my latest book, but can't look away from the TV set when he's on. He's not playing well at the moment and Ferrer looks to be one for the future. My little grandson asked me "How many times does Murray have to hit the net before he wins?"

Anyway, I started writing at 5am, and I have completed Chapter 6, and enjoyed doing it immensely. This Chapter deals with a young underprivileged boy who passes an exam for entry into an exclusive fee paying public school. He doesn't exactly 'pass'the exam as readers will find out. Incidentally the Devil didn't appear when I was on page 6....which was a relief.

A robber went into my local bank, armed with a pistol. A bank employee trying to foil the robbery, and pulled the Robber's balaclava half off. The robber shot him dead. "Now did anyone else see my face then" , he asked the terrified customers. A little old man half whispered to the Robber, "You see that big fat woman over there?" "Yes" said the Robber. "Well, that's my wife, I think she got a glimpse of you".

Anyway better get back to the TV, and Mr Murray.

Just watched the news, and the Olympic Torch is now heading for my home area, namely Norwich. It seems to be bringing joy to so many people, let's hope that the games go off with no problems... maybe I should re-phrase that...!

Had a full day of writing The Saturday Oath today. It's so nice to engage in something you really enjoy. Writing novels is such a high for me, although it was interrupted by my UK next door neighbour. He phoned up and asked if he could use my lawnmower. I told him of course he could.... as long as he doesn't take it out of my garden.

My Padre from my local church also phoned me today. He attended an important meeting of the local nuns with their Mother Superior at the convent. The Mother Superior announced that there was a case of gonorrhoea in the convent. One of the nuns jumped up and said, "Brilliant! I was getting a bit tired of Chardonnay".

I've just looked at my diary. I'm appearing on the Hannah Murray Book Show next week, Thursday the 12th, on Talk Radio Europe. Sometime around 3pm, I believe. I appeared on Maurice Boland's show last week on his new station iTalk.FM., It was broadcast from El Cort Inglis/Hypercor in Puerta Banus. Interesting afternoon I have to say.

My doctor told me, during my 12 monthly check up, to get more exercise and include more iron in my diet. I asked what he suggested. He said "Eat your car keys"!

Bye for now, hope you have a good evening.

Thanks Patricia for your comment. The novel "Every Day's a Monday" is based on my experiences when I was 'fitted up' on false charges and spent 7 months in a Middle East prison. It was a complete hell hole, and myself and my business partner suffered greatly at the hands of the warders and the native inmates. I made it a work of fiction but a lot of the contents of the book are true. I changed the name of the Republic and characters as a little bit of 'payback'. eg the main villains have been renamed Sylvan & Coneo Bassura. There is talk of it being made into a film, but it's only talk at the moment.

My second book, "The Tuesday Empire" is already selling well even though I don't start the promotional tour etc until September. For anyone that's interested all my books are available on Amazon, Kindle, WH Smiths, Waterstones, Jarrolds, etc.

Went to see a movie yesterday called 'The Raven'. It covers the last days of Edgar A. Poe, and whilst not an epic, was certainly worth watching. Got back just in time to watch the Espana v Italy game. Spain thoroughly deserved to win. Mario Ballotelli obviously plays in Manchester...you can tell that because he has strange ways....

Talking of strange ways, Bill Clinton said just after being elected, "Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women, and I hope I never get into that".

Better get back to Chapter 6 on the 6th book. I wonder if when I get to page 6 the Devil will appear?!

Hope you have an enjoyable day.