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Shall I stay or shall I go?

Here we are in soggy Tunbridge Wells, in a house we hate, but still we can't quite make the decision to leave. This is the story of why we are in this position, and hopefully how eventually we'll change life for the better. Maybe it will ring a few bells with some of you!

We are Sailing
25 April 2017 @ 23:19

Phew! It's been a rather fraught couple of weeks here in deepest Kent.

My Husband James has just left on a ferry to Santander in a van full to bursting with furniture and household goods, all his trade tools, and a black laborador. He forgot to pack the sunloungers, and packed the curtains destined for his office here, but never mind.

Getting everything done and making sure all our customers are reasonably satisfied before he left, made him so stressed he was almost climbing the walls, which in turn had an effect on myself and the dog who was very worried. She knew something was going on and has spent most of the last week in the garden looking aprehensive. The dog is currently 10 decks down in a cage on the ferry, she'll probably need councelling when she gets home in six weeks.

The idea of this trip is twofold. There is quite a lot of work to be done on our little bungalow, and it's the first time we have spent any more than a couple of weeks in Spain. We have engaged a talented Polish builder called Julian to do the heavy work, but Husband is going to try his hand at tiling amongst other things. We tried to get our friend Graham who is a professional tiler to come out for a few days, but no go!
I say 'we', but of course I mean himself as I'm still here.

I'm going for 5 days next week, but someone has to earn a living and feed the cat, so I shall be mainly sending instruction from here, although I hope to go at the end of May when our Son, his wife and 2.5 kids are going to rent a villa along the road with her Brother, his wife, and his FIVE kids. I'm so glad we don't have the room to accomodate them all!

The downside of self-employment is that James will not be earning anything for 6 weeks, so it will take at least about 3 months to get our finances back to anything like normal, it's a foolish thing to do, and the stress it adds to our life is immense but we only have one life and we have to live it even if it means doing foolish things sometimes.

I'm sort of half hoping he'll love it so much he wants to stay and decides to throw the towel in here. Half hoping, half scared in case he does. 

I think women generally finding moving more difficult than men. We have our local support network, the familiar everyday people and places we go to that we don't really value until we are presented with the threat of losing them and then it gets scary.

I have an unexiting, but full life here. I see people in the street I have known by sight since I was a girl. I feel very comfortable when I go to a market and chat with the same people each week both buyers and other traders. I'd miss that life.

I don't want to have to make a choice.............

Like 2


wigmore said:
29 April 2017 @ 08:51

hello, I'm from Kent. where have you decided to live in Spain?
I live in a very small village in the Granada area. It is not a pretty village, but very friendly-every one speaks as you pass them in the street. We are surrounded by olive groves, it is lovley
I wish you all the very best.

mestala said:
29 April 2017 @ 09:56

Just go for it,like you said...''one life''

peter-c said:
29 April 2017 @ 11:10

Moving house, especially when moving abroad, is a very big decision. You seem to be giving it a lot of thought, working out the pros and cons, which is a good thing. We have had a place in Spain for eleven years, and spend periods of up to eight weeks there, but it's still not the same as living in another country. I think a poster who advised renting out your house in the UK while you 'try out' living in Estepona was right. You may change your mind when you start missing grandchildren, dealing with Spanish bureaucracy, and struggling with healthcare issues (the position after Brexit might be difficult), but at least you could then move back easily. Spain is a great country, but don't underestimate the pull of home when things get difficult. Best of luck in whatever you choose.

jsevanbergen said:
29 April 2017 @ 11:12

Hello Wigmore
We are in Estepona, which is 35 minutes from Gibraltar.
It's a bit more built up than it used to be, but still very Spanish. We live about 2 miles from the very centre.

kind regards


jsevanbergen said:
29 April 2017 @ 11:13

Hello Metsala,
I know, but I need a push!


jsevanbergen said:
29 April 2017 @ 11:16

Hello Peter-c!

The thing is we aren't mortgage free yet, we have another 4 years to go, and we have no savings or income yet because we don't qualify for a pension for another 5 years. I'm wondering if we cold change to a buy-to-let mortgage, I'll have to look into it.

kind regards

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