Landlord Blues: Renting out the house from hell

On 5 October, Adrian went to see Peter to get the deposit repayment code he should have given us at least a month before. He was living in a large house not far from Hill View, that  Adrian said was a better house than ours! 
'What's more,' he added, 'he's paying the same rent he would have paid with us: £240 a month, including bills.' 
When  Adrian got to the house, despite having an arrangement to see him at 6 o’ clock he didn’t answer the door and  Adrian had to ring his mobile. He said he was worried in case it was  Jason, who comes around regularly asking if Peter can lend him money for a flagon of cider. Peter, himself, hadn’t drunk for eight weeks. 
‘Peter you'd better steer clear of him,' Adrian warned. 'He’s no good for you and might get you back on the drink.’ 
'Well, I'm off to Tenby fishing this weekend,' Peter said. He had made a new friend at a workshop where he was volunteering. 
‘That’s the kind of friend you need,’  Adrian said. It seemed that after his dreadful low-point, the only way was up; it certainly seemed like our evicting him had done him the world of good. 
'At least he's no longer in the same house as that alcoholic, Jason,' I said. 'And if he manages to keep stonewalling him, maybe  Jason will give up.'  
Adrian had reminded Peter: ‘Just remember his shouting and ranting when you had the blood pouring out of you, Peter. He is not your friend.’ 
On the other hand, the whole reason  Adrian had gone to see Peter was to get the repayment code so that we could get the deposit back and use it to repair a bit of the damage Peter did at the house and then he didn’t have the code! 
'I'll just have to keep on to him until I get it,' Adrian said, after his wasted journey.
Nothing much happened for a couple of weeks and it got to late October with Jason showing no signs of clearing off.
I decided to send him a text:
Me (17.08, 22nd October):
Adrian’s told me you’re not intending to leave next week, after having had two and a half months’ notice to get out. I think it is despicable and this will be yet another thing on your conscience. Every day you stay at the house we lose more money because we can’t let Peter’s room with you still there, because no-one would want to share with you, with the way you smash up the house and walk around exposing yourself. So, you’re going to wait for the court order and the bailiffs are you, after  Adrian and I have treated you so well over the years? You should be ashamed of yourself. You’re now going to put  Adrian and me through all this stress. Stop being so selfish and leave our house next week like any decent person would.
He had also not come up with the deposit repayment code and after Adrian reminded him again, he received the usual lies.
 Jason (13.34, 3rd November):
I sent it to u last week. I go get it again from my m.8s computer. Maybe I didn’t send it right. ill go have a look now
Jason’s notice had run out on 31st October and of course he had not left. He'd apparently been told by the local housing advice office that he should hang on till the bitter end, meaning a court order/possession order and the fees and lost rent on his room and Peter’s because we couldn’t re-let with that waster there. Paul, our electrician went up the first week of November to fix the shower. He said it had burnt out. While he was there he spotted a whole load of damage including cables that had been deliberately ripped out and which meant the electrical system wasn’t earthed and was therefore highly dangerous, so he fixed it immediately. He only spotted it because he happened to be there. Also, the fire alarm panel had been smashed in and other cables had been ripped out from the skirting board. 
Jason was causing us more and more expense while he stayed. We wondered if we could get the police over the latest damage, but assumed not. The last time they more-or-less said he could do what he liked in our house if he had a tenancy agreement. 
'If it was physical violence he was committing against a person it wouldn’t matter if it were done inside or outside a house,' I complained to Adrian. 'In the past, domestic violence was also treated less seriously than violence outside the home. But if it's damage, then where's the logic in it only counting if it's outside the home?'

The same day that I was participating in the spat with Okie, I was involved in a text correspondence with  Jason, who was still showing no signs of leaving:
Me to Jason (14.43, 21st September):
Adrian went to the house today and it was a complete shambles with the kitchen dirty (despite  Adrian and I cleaning it up last week – which is a cheek, because it is not our dirt) and the bathrooms filthy.  It was completely bizarre of you to say it looked better than when you moved in. Nothing could be further from the truth. And you still refuse to pay the rent or get out. You are causing us so much trouble but you do not care. If you cared you’d stop talking and feeling sorry for yourself and your feelings and you’d get out. Okie is at his wits’ end and not happy as you deludedly claim. We also want your Deposit Protection Service repayment code. This is one thing you can do which won’t cost you anything; we can then at least use the bond towards some of the phenomenal costs we are incurring having taken you on as a tenant. As usual, when  Adrian got to the house mid-day, all the lights were on and we have to pay for all of this, whilst being really careful not to waste electricity in our own house. Get us that repayment code please.
Jason (14.57, 21 September):
The housing will not get me a place till my eviction notice is up so i am trying. As for the lights i am not the only one living here okinawa dont switch the lights of after him at enytime. and if i had helth and safety around that house they would have a field day with the damp etc. As soon as the date is up i will be out but before hand i cannot do enything about it.
 Jason (15.05):
I dont think your being professional txting me like this eather saying im feeling sorry for my self etc.
Obviously, it was the usual ‘counter-claim’ stuff. How the house could be damp was beyond me, when they kept the heating on full, day and night. If there was any black mould anywhere it would only because of lack of ventilation (and I hadn’t seen any anywhere but never ventured into  Jason’s room, as when he was in, he was always supine on the bed and it looked like a tornado had hit, and there was also the possibility that I might find him 'bottomless').  
'The cheek of some people,' I fumed to Adrian. 'They give the house a hammering, wreck doors, walls, windows, the vacuum cleaner and the washing machine and they then blame us! He's the eternal bloody victim.' 
We were used to having a bit of muck flung at us by tenants whose days were numbered.
And while I was going back and fore with these texts, it turned out  Adrian was having a row, too. He had popped into one of our student houses and two of the tenants had pounced on him. 'Nick and Sian' – were now taking it in turns to rant at him. Nick –  whom Adrian had recently waited an hour for at the house only to then be told he would be yet another hour late – didn’t like the look of the energy bills they’d just received. Adrian pointed out that it was a tactic of the energy companies to send a high estimated bill. 
‘Well, I reckon someone’s been staying here over the summer, because the house is really dirty as well.’ 
‘Well, if it is, it’s been done by your fellow housemate, Josh, who stayed for a bit over the summer,’ Adrian replied. 
The guy had asked if he could stay overnight, but  Adrian suspected he had stayed a lot longer; he wouldn't have wanted to tell us as the deal with the students is that they pay half-rent over the summer, but full rent if they occupy.
‘The fridge is really mouldy,’ Nick then said, to which Adrian replied:
‘Well since I cleaned it at the beginning of July I don't see how. Although, come to think of it, when Josh came I asked if he wanted me to switch it on ready for him, and he did. What happens after that, is between you all. He probably switched it off after using it, and kept the door shut – that would lead to mould forming.’ 
Sian then joined in, ‘I had to spend three hours cleaning my room and there were coffee rings on my window sill.’ 
She should have ‘phoned the United Nations to report it as an international incident. 
‘I don’t know how you could have spent that long cleaning a small, empty room,’  Adrian replied. ‘I moved all the furniture when I vacuumed it.’ 
On and on they went.  Adrian then suggested Nick go and do an actual reading of the gas meter and it turned out that one unit had been used up. 
‘That would be the pilot light over the summer,’  Adrian opined. 'What's that? 50 pence worth?'
'Well the bill was for more than 50p,' Nick said.
So Adrian explained about standing charges. 
‘What I will not have, though,’  Adrian declared, ‘is the pair of you going on at me, as though I am some terrible person. Because I am not. I don’t like the way you’re talking to me and this is a very bad start to the tenancy. And, in terms of the state of the house, I assume now that every time I come here, it will be looking like a new pin and you will be model tenants, since you have such high standards.’ 
In fact, over the course of their tenancy, Nick was the worst payer out of all of our students, constantly paying his rent at least three weeks later, after ignoring many reminders. And in terms of 'Sian' we had to send a warning to our letting agents never to let an employee attend the house alone. Our windows man had gone to the house when no-one was there to finish putting a fitting on a window and Sian realised someone had been there and went absolutely crazy, ranting in emails and texts about how she could have been on her own etc. She even got her father involved. The pair of them were mental.
And the same week I'd happened to hear a programme on Jeremy Vine about women making false accusations about men and I had a really bad feeling about this Sian. She was definitely unhinged enough to throw about wild accusations.  Men on the programme had had their businesses and marriages ruined, when it appeared that it had just been one woman's word against theirs. Even if they'd been found not guilty, their lives had still often been wrecked.
Anyway, Adrian came home that particular day around 5pm and debriefed and I filled him in on my testing time with  Jason and Okie. He’d had nothing to eat since breakfast (it being a ‘fasting day’ on his 5:2 diet) and he started going on at Tom (and me, by extension for not sorting him out better as his mother), for not having taken the dog for a walk. 
If he’d had no altercations with tenants and hadn't been on the stupid diet, he wouldn’t have been so irate and I wouldn’t have stormed off with Tom to take him to his tennis class. I also would have had plenty of time to walk the dog if I hadn't had to spend an hour and a half at the tennis club. And while Adrian had taken the dog in the morning for an hour’s walk which, frankly, he enjoys, I had tidied up, emptied the dishwasher, cleaned up the dog’s overnight and early morning bowel excreta, checked the banks on-line, set Tom up with his morning Maths lesson and helped him with it, as he was ill at the time and I was home schooling him for his GCSEs no less, and I had answered a load of enquiries about viewing another house. I did not, as I am fond of saying, sit on my backside and do nothing. 

Once more Okie thinks he is lord and master of our rental house and sends us the following text:
Okie (10.44, 20 September):
Good morning. I would appreciate if these things can be done as a matter of urgency:
⦁     Please send in a carpenter to fit locks and keys on the lockers in the kitchen.  Jason takes everything I buy and I can’t stop him cos I am at work.
⦁    A hoofer/vacuum cleaner. I have asked for this and  Adrian has promised but hasn’t fulfilled it. The one  Jason got is old and isn’t working well.
⦁    The washing machine isn’t working. Needs to be looked into
⦁    The regulator in the fridge is not working. It hasn’t been working for over a month now, before Peter left. If this can be corrected it will be appreciated. At what date is  Jason leaving? Regards.

I was in no rush to answer, just as tenants are in no rush to ever contact us, unless it is in their interests. I replied the next day.
Me (9.40, 21 September):
Jason has been given his notice to leave by the end of October – this was the earliest date possible, legally. We have asked him to leave earlier as a favour but we can’t make him. As landlords, we cannot be responsible if one tenant steals from another. Either you report it to the police and/or keep things in your room until he’s left. As you know,  Jason broke our vacuum cleaner which cost us 110 pounds. Since you say the replacement one he provided doesn’t work well,  Adrian will bring another one up – you must keep this in your room until  Jason has vacated and you will be responsible for it. 
Insurance does not cover any of the losses we are facing because of Peter and  Jason’s behaviour in the house – we have to pay for it all out of our pockets.  Adrian will look at the washing machine –  Jason told us just days ago that it is working. In terms of the fridge, this is the first time a problem with it has been reported. 
We are faced with a catalogue of expenses related to the house and will do all essential work in order to be legally compliant but given the lack of respect shown to our house we will not be offering to do non-essential works. As I have previously said, if you feel the house doesn’t suit you we will not hold you to your notice period. We experience enough stress as it is and do not want to have any more. 
Okie (10.37, 21 September):
I actually thought Jason was giving the same notice period as Peter, and as Peter has since left one would have naturally felt  Jason was leaving as early as this month. I had sent you credible complaints since a long time about  Jason and Peter about their drunken and irresponsible behaviour and if you had listened to them he would have left and damages you have suffered wouldn’t be here in the first place. Or the heavy inconvenience and constant fear am going through to the lack of respect shown to the house hasn’t come from me, it never can because I try to be as decent as anyone would want. 
As for the legal essential work you are withholding, its a bit unfair as I am paying the price for what isn’t my making at all. And yes I can keep the vacuum cleaner in my room, I told  Adrian this weeks ago. I don’t want you to experience stress that’s why I deal and manage with things even when you don’t seem to respond at your end when I have complaints.
Okie had a very skewed idea of himself. In his eyes he was a really decent person. His rental payment record, annoying texts and abuse of the utilities told a different story. 
So he only ever paid the rent after several reminders; he wouldn't have cared if that meant that our mortgage payment bounced and he wouldn't care that he was causing us hassle. 
Also, when we gave him the new vacuum cleaner with instructions to take care of it, he used an unauthorised additional electrical heater, which he undoubtedly left on all day while he was at work, and he burnt the pipe on the cleaner; so much for it being in his room for safe-keeping. 
Jason and also Alan, our painter, also told us that every morning he put all the electric rings and oven on to heat the kitchen (because no-one would ever put any money in the gas meter but knew that we were paying for the electric).
Together with the fact that he left the lights on constantly, putting them on in the morning and then going off to work with them all left on during the day, he was probably responsible for wasting about £100 per month of the £240 he paid in rent, on electricity. He also left the kitchen absolutely filthy every time he cooked and he would constantly pester us over little things, always thinking up new ways of spending our money – a new fridge please? A new bed please? A new carpet please? 
'What a charade that man's Christianity is,' I said to Adrian. 'I'm more Christian than that selfish get' (and I don't believe in God). At one point when he didn't pay the rent he even said it was because he'd made an 'ethical investment.' Liar. It turned out he'd lost his job. He wasn't the type to give anyone anything. And by the time we were to get shot of Peter and  Jason, it would become clear that he was now our worst tenant, whilst in his own deluded mind he was the best. Strangely, he also felt he had rights over the house and over who occupied it.
And so I fired off yet another riposte against dullard Okie-kinokie, as we liked to call him.
Me (15.19, 21 September):
Okie. I will correct various points:
⦁     Peter and  Jason received the same notices for the end of October but Peter left earlier. We have to work within the law and that is the end of it. Legally,  Jason does not even have to leave then and we may have to pay for a court order to get him out. A judge will then give him longer. It could take many months to get him out. That is the law in this country.
⦁    You misread what I said about works. I said we wouldn’t do non-essential works. This is standard. Tenants could demand we do all kinds of works; that doesn’t mean we would do them. We have never fitted locks on kitchen cupboards and will never do so. 
⦁    You say you are afraid of  Jason. All I can suggest is that you find somewhere else to live as we are not in control of when he moves out and have no idea when he will actually go. What we don’t want is constant complaints about the house and you telling us that we could do things better or could have in the past. Also, can you ensure that electricity is not wasted in the house. We have to pay phenomenal bills and lights are left on constantly. 

'He's the next one for the chop,' I said to Adrian. 'I want him out.'

Me (12.03, 18 September):
You haven’t answered my text. Why? You said you were going to do the decent thing and move out asap. When are you going? Like I said, we’re losing money every day, not being able to sort the house out to re-let it. Answer me  Jason and tell when you’re going.
 Jason (15.50, 18 September):
im going as fast as i can. Please stop bothering my sister. She has disowned me. Im off to the h.a.d. Tomorrow. Please dont bother my sister over my mistakes. Recent circumstances have nothing to do with her. Im trying to make things right but im stuck in quick sand at the moment.
Me (15.58, 18 September):
I don’t know what you mean about your sister –  Adrian had one nice chat with her. Don’t try and change the subject. You’ve damaged the house in too many ways to list. It’s going to cost us a fortune to bring it back to the standard it was in when you moved in. We need the date when you’re moving out, because, as I said, we can’t let Peter’s room until you’re gone. I don’t need to hear fancy expressions about quicksand. That’s talking like a victim. Start taking responsibility for your life and face up to what you’ve done and put it right. Don’t talk about putting it right. Put it right.
 Jason (16.03, 18 September):
My housing advisor said she wont put me up anywhere untill the end of the eviction notice. Its not nice sleeping in a place where your causing upset. I am a human with feelings and im upset for leting people down but ive just got a little red tape to cut through then ill be out. X
Me (16.09, 18 September):
Once again it’s about your feelings. What about  Adrian’s feelings? You said you’d get out almost immediately last week and now you’re planning to hang on as long as you can. We’ve got hefty bills to pay at the house – the mortgage, council tax, insurance, water, electricity (and the bills are astronomical – last week, we came in the morning, no-one was in and every single light was on in the daytime) and then we’re going to have to redecorate practically the whole house, re-carpet it and replace damaged and soiled furniture. Try and put yourself in our shoes. We are the victims here; not you. We have to pay out all this money and need four rents coming in.
 Jason (16.15):
O.k. then come n c the place right now. It looks better than when i moved in. I know things got out of hand but like i said when i leave the place will look better than when i moved in. x
 Jason (16.31):
I know that apologies meen nothing untill you put your money where youre mouth is. Im trying. But im a little but stuk. x
 Jason (16.36):
I will put things right.
 Jason (16.39):
If i had credit instead of txts then maybe we could talk things out so you could see that i am sincere. x
 Jason (16.49):
I think ive fixed the washing machine. It was just blocked up due to bad plumbing. ill let you know. x
Me (16.50):
I keep saying that only actions matter and yet you want to talk. We did the talking and we asked you to do the decent thing and leave. You haven’t. There’s nothing else to say. And I’m dealing with you because you stress  Adrian out too much.
 Jason (16.52):
I can go sleep on a park bench if u want me to but where am i going to store my stuff. I have been trying.
Me (17.48):
I said we could store your stuff if you go and stay with a mate. We need the room empty so we can re-let it.

At 8.40 on 12 September, I receive a call from a police officer: 
‘I went to see  Jason Thomas yesterday at the house in Hill View and we’ve had a chat but I can’t see how we can press any charges. I’ve had a word with my sergeant and he says if you’ve got a bond, that’s what’s the bond’s for.’ 
‘The bond won’t even begin to cover all the bills he’s run up and won’t come near to covering the damage as he’s damaged all sorts in the house over the last two years,’ I replied. 
‘Yes, but you have to expect this kind of behaviour if you let houses to people on the DSS. And when he’s got a tenancy agreement it’s like it’s his house really. It’s a civil and not criminal matter.’
‘Yes, don’t worry,’ I reassured him, ‘I’m used to no-one helping us as landlords, and used to the unfair distinction between what constitutes civil and criminal justice. If someone stole money or damaged my things in the street, that would be different, wouldn’t it? But if they do it in my house, you won’t get involved. Can I just ask you one favour though?’ 
‘Yes, of course.’ 
‘Can you not tell  Jason? If you ‘phone and say you’re not going to press charges, he’ll never get out.’ 
‘Yes, I don’t have to tell him anything. You’re the one who rang with the complaint.’ 
‘Great. Thanks for that,’ and I hung up.  I didn’t bear him a grudge;  I was pretty resigned to it by now. It turned out that Okie told the officer he hadn’t been threatened by  Jason. He just felt threatened, I suppose, especially when he had drunk and had his drugged-up mates around, smashing up our house. I wouldn’t like it and would barricade myself in my room. But if the police wouldn’t help by charging  Jason with criminal damage and the legal system made it impossible for us to get him out quickly, what else could we do? I texted Okie, who seemed to think he might be able to now get away without paying the rent.
Me (8.59, 14 September):
Okie. Could you please pay the rent for this month. Thanks.
Okie (20.26):
Okay.
I also texted Jason:
Me (15.03, 16 September):
When are you moving out? We can’t sort out all the mess in the house, redecorate etc. and re-let Peter’s room while you are still there as you could ruin our work if you are still there. Because of you not moving out we are losing money every day by not being able to get a new tenant for Peter’s room. Also, we want you to pay us what you owe us. You send long texts indicating you’re sorry, but we’re only interested in actions, not words; specifically, we want you to leave and pay up.
The idea that saying 'sorry' somehow constitutes an action in itself wasn't new to me. Some people think that the word ‘sorry’ makes everything okay. 
Around this time, Alan, our painter said: ‘Has he gone yet? That Jason guy?'
Alan found all the goings-on incredible as he'd never seen people living like this before, with their chaotic and selfish ways. 
When I wasn't just plain angry, I also found it interesting observing people like that at close quarters. You see these people walking down the street with their flagons of cider in their bags. But you don’t really see how they live; looking like death warmed up in the morning, never eating, peeing in bottles and throwing the bottles out of the window.  

I then had to tell Okie the bad news.
Okie (14.49, 11 September):
The came [the police] this morning before I went out and asked me some questions and took some questions. And then asked me to go upstairs while they spoke to  Jason. I had to leave immediately as I didn’t want  Jason to have the impression that I invited them.
I said to  Adrian, ‘You know why they came so quickly? It’s because I mentioned the ‘R’ word, even though I don’t believe  Jason is racist.’ 
‘Oh, no, he’s far too selfish to be racist,’  Adrian said. That was a new one.  Adrian explained: ‘He’s so wrapped up in himself he wouldn’t care enough to be racist.’ That would rile the politically correct brigade. In the meantime I had been texting  Jason:
Me (19.28, 5 September):
Jason. You now owe £153.04 in rent. Can you text me when you have paid it? Also please confirm that you have taken a new vacuum cleaner to the house to replace the one you broke as Okie keeps asking  Adrian about it. Thanks.
Me (10.28, 7 September): 
Jason. Can you please answer my earlier text about the rent and the vacuum cleaner?
 Jason (10.35, 7 September):
I’m off down my m8s tonight to get a lift to collect the vacume cleaner and put my printer on amazon to pay off my dues. Sorry for the delay.
Me (14.22, 10 September):
We’ve been to the house and you weren’t there. Contact us immediately. We need you to vacate and return the keys if you wish to avoid criminal proceedings.
 Jason (17.05, 10 September):
The police came around earlier. I admitted to attempting to take the door off. They said they may come around tonight to arest me. I gave them the name of the guy who set off the fire extinguisher but i think they thought i made it up. I’ve found the extinguisher n braket in the street. Hopfully theres some forensic evidence on there. Ive tried vacuming up the dust but i need to get my m8 around with his steam cleaner to help me sort that out and also finish taking the door then get rid of all the rubish. I cant leave the house in this dusty mess its not all fare on Okinawa n could be hazardouse. So im going to my friends house at 6 when he finishes work so he can help me. I do have a conciounce n feel reely bad. I literally had to fight back the tears when Okinawa told me what happened to his lunch. I bought him some food. I have to get rid of this dust tonight for his sake. My m8 will take my printer to his tonight n put it on amazon. Ones in Worse condition are seling for 400 on there so that can go towards sorting out my dues. I promise to pay.  Adrian has been nothing but nice to me but i just kept on making mistakes. I will pay my dues because although it doesnet seem like it but i am greatfull fo
 Jason (17.08):
The police are involved now and if they do come around to arest me tonight i will still make amends. I feel terable.
Jason (17.10):
Only one of my friends is single who could posibly take me in. I will clean up n be out of your hair as soon as possible because i understand that me being here is upseting people and i dont want that.
 Jason (17.39):
Im in the process of sorting out storage n transport. You want me out understandably so im not going to make u hate me even more draging my heels.
Jason (11.09, 11 September):
I worked my fingers to the bone to try to make amends. House is spotless. Even did some stuff that wasnt on the list, Okinawa went to work happy thank god i felt terable im getting rid of the rubish tonight. Tomorow i will do the attic. I promise will pay my dues.  Adrian sutch a nice bloke i have to or ill never forgive myself. I went off the rails n i have to sort myself out n make amends for my mistakes.
Jason (11.28):
By the way the washing machine hasn’t worked for almost 2 weeks I told okinawa about it at the time. I don’t think its totaly gone. I think it needs new bushes or brushes or whatever you call them. I think your handy man will be able to sort that out. My dad allways to fix his. He had one for about 15 years once. im obviously out of here asap. Just thinking about okinawa. He did tell me to try to txt your but i forgot.
I didn’t answer any of the texts. We were only interested in one saying he’d got out so that we could get in and sort out the mess.

On 11 September we went back up the house at 7pm, to find  Jason hoovering in the hall. He had clearly only just started as the powder was everywhere, so we didn’t speak to him. We couldn’t anyway, with the noise of the vacuum cleaner and some irritating music blaring from his open room through the entire house. He watched as I took photos of the powder everywhere. I had already taken photos of a broken and discarded fire extinguisher next to the bin opposite the house and then found another one broken in the back garden and I took photos of that, too. I then photographed where the door had once been and there was now just the piece of wood and also the bits of the door and glass which had been thrown in the garden. 
After he'd been ignored for a while, he switched off the hoover and said he'd ‘dismantled’ the door as a ‘favour’ to Peter (who had said he was going to install a new one for us, after he'd smashed his head into the glass of the door twice).  Adrian said: ‘No you didn’t. Only the glass was smashed before and then you smashed the rest of it. And switch that music off. Have some consideration!’ 
The dialogue then went like this: 
‘Well you know we want you out today. Have you arranged somewhere to stay?’ 
He made some sounds with his mouth that were incomprehensible.  Adrian deduced he was ‘on’ something. 
‘I can’t understand what you’re saying,’ I said and I proceeded to try and persuade him to go.

‘Do you think  Adrian has been a good landlord?’ I asked. 
He paused, then uttered: ‘Yes.’ 
‘Has he always been patient about the rent?’ 
‘Yes.’ 
‘Has he always been good when you’ve smashed bits of the house, broken doors, broken the window in the loft?’ 
‘Yes.’ 
‘Do you think it would now be the right thing for you to go?’ 
‘Yes.’ 
‘So are you going to go then?’ 
‘I’ve got nowhere to go.’ 
‘What about your girlfriend’s?’ 
‘She’s up her Mam’s.’ 
‘What about your cousin’s?’ 
‘What cousin?’ 
‘Any of your cousins.’ 
‘I can’t.’
‘Well what about staying with one of your friends?’ 
‘What friends?’ 
‘The ones who you invited in to wreck our house.’ 
‘I don’t know where they live.’ 
‘Great friends then.’ 
‘Exactly,’ etc. etc. 
Adrian then got angry. ‘You’re not going to go, are you? Well, we’ll get the police.’ 
‘What for?’ 
‘For criminal damage, threats to Okie, carrying a dangerous weapon.’ 
‘A dangerous weapon?’ He laughed now. ‘Are you kidding? I've never carried a knife. And I can’t move because I’m not supposed to do anything for 12 hours. I’m on medication. Look at this,’ he said, lifting his t-shirt to show us what looked like a couple of brown bruises on his stomach. 
‘Well, you’re walking around and vacuuming now, so you can walk down the road,’ I said. 
‘Walk down the road?’ he repeated, incredulous. ‘Where to?’ and he giggled. 
‘Don’t start that,’  Adrian fumed, ‘I don’t want to hear about your problems. You don’t know anything about mine.’ 
‘Yes, we’ve got problems at the moment,’ I said and  Adrian joined in: 
‘And did you know my mother died? No, you didn’t, did you? Because it’s all about you. And I’m sick of it. You’re going to sweat it out, aren’t you? You’re going to make us involve the police and go to court, aren’t you? And you’re driving the other tenants out of the house. You’re selfish.’ 
I tried the more placatory approach: ‘Look  Jason, this is a chance to do the right thing. Look at the effect you’re having on  Adrian. I never see him like this. Just do the decent thing and go.’ He just looked blank.

As we drove off,  Adrian said: ‘Well it was a total waste of time talking to him. He was off his head.’