Grammatical Rules for forum posts...(Only Joking...)

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12 October 2010 by foxbat Star rating in Granada. 1056 posts Send private message

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Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Remarks in brackets (however relevant) are (usually) (but not always) unnecessary.

Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

No sentence fragments.

Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

One should NEVER generalize.

Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

Don’t use no double negatives.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be ignored.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.

If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

Puns are for children, not groan readers.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.



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12 Oct 2010 04:13 by foxbat Star rating in Granada. 1056 posts Send private message

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The above posted at 0405 hrs Spain time and no, I dont have anything better to do I'm puppy sitting again...

fb



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12 Oct 2010 06:57 by pilgrim Star rating in Costa Calida. 212 posts Send private message

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Excellent stuff foxbat, with but one "clanger". Items referred to in item seven are called parentheses, not brackets.



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12 Oct 2010 08:07 by foxbat Star rating in Granada. 1056 posts Send private message

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Hey, you dont honestly think I write this stuff do you....!

Anyway...quote from wikipedia...

Parentheses ( )



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12 Oct 2010 09:24 by EOS Team Star rating in In Spain of course!. 4344 posts Send private message

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Great stuff.  I will, perhaps, (just thinking about it), maybe add this list to the forum rules, but busy today, so its best if I do it tomorrow (tomorrow is anothe day after all).  No?

Justin



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12 Oct 2010 11:24 by Roberto Star rating in Torremolinos. 3457 posts Send private message

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Brilliant. Im not sure if its not going to go over most members heads, though. Quite a few arent sure where to put there commas or apostrophes, so they're may well be a few puzzled people out their now!!!



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12 Oct 2010 11:31 by David W Star rating. 192 posts Send private message

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Well your use of their and there is worth comment !!!

Edited to remove other comment


 



This message was last edited by David W on 12/10/2010.



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12 Oct 2010 11:51 by Cove Robert Star rating. 202 posts Send private message

So, in other words, what you suggest is that everybody should stop posting.( Just kidding) oops





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12 Oct 2010 12:23 by peteha Star rating. 114 posts Send private message

no Roberto we all is not as thik as youse make out innit





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12 Oct 2010 19:18 by EOS Team Star rating in In Spain of course!. 4344 posts Send private message

12 Oct 2010 20:11 by sping Star rating in Stockport & Playa Go.... 129 posts Send private message

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So I take it your all puppy sitting!....... What it is….





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13 Oct 2010 07:35 by Pommers Star rating in Almoradi, Spain. 316 posts Send private message

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Ah Foxbat - absolutely brilliant. It brings back memories from the days of my youth! My junior school teacher used to beat us over the head regarding the use of the apostrophe hence I still have a large lump at the back my head and my husband is going bald (yes we knew each other that long ago).

I love Wikipedia but sometimes it over-simplifies things (called dumbing down you know) and if you'd carried on reading it gives all 3 correct names of the varous types of brackets too.

Can anyone name all 14 punctuation marks?



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13 Oct 2010 13:49 by crostrad Star rating. 72 posts Send private message

Well I think that when alls said and done at the end of the day taking everything into consideration and weighing up all the possibilities we should draw a line under this and move on towards the light at the end of the tunnel where the grass is greener as a new day dawns and throws our fears into the shade as we pick up our skirts knuckle down to it and get on with just living our lives causing no hurt or alarm to other members of the human race on this earth that we call home.

Please provide your own punctuation for the above-then post it on here so we can all take the pi   critique your efforts.

Here's a few new words to add to our vocabulary:

Cashtration...The act of buying a house which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Intaxication....Euphoria at getting a tax refund,which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.

Bozone...........The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.

Reintarnation.Coming back to life as a Hillbilly.





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13 Oct 2010 15:22 by lmjohn Star rating in S Wales & Piedra Ama.... 9 posts Send private message

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Sorry I was bored!

1 - ! Exclamation
2 - . Period
3 - , Comma
4 - - Dash
5 - - Hyphen
6 - " Quotation
7 - : Colon
8 - ; Semi Colon
9 - ? Question Mark
10 - () Parenthesis
11 - {} Braces
12 - [] Brackets
13 - ... Ellipsis
14 - ' Apostrophe





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13 Oct 2010 21:12 by suemac Star rating in Jumilla, Murcia. 1013 posts Send private message

HOW ABOUT NOT TYPING YOUR REPLY IN CAPITALS?!  HOWEVER THE NEWS ABOUT THE RESCUE OF THE CHILE MINERS JUSTIFIES THIS!!!!! ¡ESTUPENDO!!!

Sue



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14 Oct 2010 10:21 by TechNoApe Star rating in Duquesa, Manilva. 1291 posts Send private message

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Sos wot b gng on n ere den, eh!!!!!

Mes cnt wrk it out 'cos aint nuffin like i wus givn n skool like

Just be greateful, to the extreme, as if we were not (like as if we were in the first place), that people, who post here on Eye on Spain, do not use the slang (that generally) seems to be used (by everyone these days!), that appears in text messages on most mobile phones! .... These days that is!



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