The Curmudgeon

After a lifetime's connection with Spain, I'm getting a bit fed up with time-wasters, ie people who waste MY time.

As I get older - I'm 75 now - I get really cross! 

    [Video courtesy of YouTube]

My time is precious - I don't know how long I have left, with Type 2 diabetes; a suspected bi-polar condition; and too great an affection for beer, I might "snuff it" tomorrow - so people who waste my time are not popular with me.

Who are these time-wasters?

I can place them in four categories:

• Call-centres
• Banks
• Holiday rental companies
• House-buyers

Call-centres / Atencion al cliente

It's hard to decide which are the worst. In both countries you have to wait for ages listening to awful music and, in Spain, frequent advertisements for other services.

Once you get through, the picture is very different.

Spanish call centre staff are not trained to put the customer first and LISTEN. They interrupt, revert to their script and usually know nothing. If you dare to raise your voice, THEY WILL CUT YOU OFF!

[Photo courtesy of Freepik]    

UK staff, on the other hand, are impeccably polite, whether they're from Bristol, Edinburgh, Leicester, or Liverpool. They listen patiently while you describe your problem and then try to help you resolve it. If they don't know the answer, they will put you on hold, find out the answer, and come back to you. And they're often up for a bit of chit-chat.

Banks

If you need to speak to a person, you will probably have to queue for ages. If you have a cita previa, no problem, but how do you get a pre-booked appointment? Nobody ever answers the phone line!

I am not impressed with Spanish banks!

[Image courtesy of Freepik]    

Holiday rental companies

If you're a holidaymaker, there's no problem. But if you're an owner, the service is terrible.

So you end up wasting loads of time and you get nowhere. The worst by far is booking.com, but AirBnb and VRBO aren't far behind.

TravelNest is a special case. Don't get me started on that company .....!

    [Photo courtesy of El Periodico]

House-buyers

I reckon over the years, potential house-purchasers have wasted more of my time than most.

Let me explain.

I have been involved in property sales (and purchases) over more than five decades, both in the UK and in Spain.

In the UK, although gazumping is still rife, I bought wisely, improved the houses and sold on at a profit.

A semi in Walkden (Greater Manchester), where I cut my DIY teeth; a detached house in Thelwall (Cheshire), which I improved and expanded over 25 years; and a detached Victorian Villa in Latchford (Warrington), which was my "project" post-redundancy and post-divorce.

The sale of that house for a massive profit financed the purchase of my permanent home, a villa with pool and loads of land just outside Ronda. That was three years after I emigrated to Andalucia in 2008. I still live there and am still improving it.

Tunstall Villa, Latchford [On the Market]    

Prior to that, my first wife, Jeryl, and I bought two`properties in Ronda in quick succession. We were both still working, me as a schools inspector / adviser and she as a university professor, but we had fallen in love with Ronda in 2000 and bought an apartment with shared pool in 2001 in the delightful Barrio San Francisco, and two years later a falling-down-house nearby.

Piso Blanco, Ronda [Photo: Paul Whitelock]    

We did very little to Piso Blanco, but, I renovated Casa Blanca throughout - I was now early-retired (55) - with the help of family, friends and the occasional tradesman.

When Jeryl and I divorced, our daughter Amy had already "flown the nest" and was at university, never to return. Our son Tom was in the VI Form doing his A-Levels. We didn't want to disrupt him any more than we already had by splitting up, so Jeryl and I came to an arrangement: she would keep the house in Thelwall and would give me the two Spanish houses, all our joint savings and a sum of money.

That proved to be a great deal for us both.

***

Back to Tunstall Villa in Latchford. To buy that I had to sell Casa Blanca, my Premium Bonds and haggle hard with the vendor. That was in 2008.

I set to with the renovation work, although by this time I had met Rita in Montejaque, near Ronda. She visited me a few times in Warrington and I showed her some of the best parts of the UK, including London, Chester, Anglesey, North Wales, South Wales, Bristol, Devon, Hastings, Sheffield, York and Hull.

We decided our future was to be together in Spain. So at the end of 2008 I emigrated to live with Rita in her house in Montejaque.

In 2010 we got married in Maulbronn Abbey (Baden-Wuerrtemberg, Germany) and in 2011 I sold all my assets in the UK and we bought Villa Indiana (q.v.)

Rita and Paul get married [Photo: HMR]    

***

By 2017, I'd fallen out of love with Piso Blanco in Ronda. It wasn't renting particularly well, so I decided to sell it. There were quite a few time wasters who came to view the apartment, but no sale.

Then a French family that had rented it for two consecutive summers, expressed a strong interest. Despite having done very little to the apartment, apart from fitting a new kitchen and a new boiler and reconfiguring the lounge / dining room, I made a profit!

The day of the signing at the notary, the officials were astonished. No property they had transacted in the preceding three years had made a profit.

I put the money into medium-risk savings bonds through my then bank, Unicaja.

In 2020 came the Coronavirus pandemic. Covid-19 was a very bad thing. It killed five friends in Montejaque and nearly did for Rita, my wife.

On a positive note, Covid kick-started my life again. After several years of being depressed, I got a new lease of life, and started working in the garden, making improvements to the house, renovating furniture from the dump, planting crops.

On a visit to Montejaque between lockdowns I spotted a house for sale. Long story short, I drew out my Unicaja bonds and bought it!

I threw myself into the renovation and improvements, sometimes with professional help, and turned it into a rather splendid traditional house with an English influence.

This year I decided to sell it and use the money for travel and getting through my lengthy "bucket list".

You wouldn't believe the number of time-wasters who have viewed Casa Real. Nosey neighbours, inquisitive foreigners, some who "definitely wanted to buy it" and then promptly disappeared from sight.

Casa Real [Photo: AirBnb]    

The worst has been an Aussie who lives in Germany, who arranged to view it some months ago, but cancelled. Then he re-surfaced last week. He wanted to view it last weekend, then postponed to Tuesday, then postponed again to Thursday.

At 7.15 am on Thursday he cancelled altogether; he had bought another house the day before.

I was astonished at the rank bad manners of this guy, who clearly was a time-waster of the worst kind. According to my estate agent, this happens all the time and you just have to accept it.

I don't accept it at all.

Final Words

I think I'll keep the house. I really love it!  And it's mine.

I decided on how to "reform" it, so I have a strong attraction to it.

I'll have to find the funds for my "bucket list" elsewhere.

Maybe from renting Casa Real ..... ?

View from roof terrace of Casa Real [Photo: Karl Smallman]

© The Curmudgeon (Paul Whitelock)

Photos:

AirBnb, El Periodico, Facebook, Freepik, HMR, Karl Smallman, On the Market, Paul Whitelock, Secret Serrania,YouTube

With thanks to:

A1, Karl Smallman, Rita Whitelock, Sierra Estates, Thom Pearson, 

Tags:

A1, AirBnb,bucket list, Banks, Call-centres, Casa Blanca, Casa Real, Casa Rita, Cheshire, El Periodico, Facebook, Freepik, Greater Manchester, HMR, Holiday rental companies, House-buyers, Jeryl, Karl Smallman, Latchford, Montejaque, On the Market, Paul Whitelock, Piso Blanco, Rita, Ronda, Secret Serrania, The Curmudgeon, Thelwall, time-waster, Tunstall Villa, Villa Indiana, Walkden, Warrington, YouTube

I try to be as environmentally aware as I can, to "do my bit" in the face of global warming.

I renovated my house and made it eco-friendly. Nowadays I try to travel in a manner that takes account of the environment.

[Image courtesy of renouvo]    

For example, taking the bus to Malaga, or to Sevilla; the train to Madrid or Granada. It's not only kinder to the environment, it's also cheaper and it's stress-free.

Or, is it?

Time for a moan! The "Damas" coach from Ronda to Malaga is modern and clean. Yet it has no toilet!

For older citizens, particularly those who have bladder issues, this is potentially catastrophic on a journey of two hours duration!

I travelled last Saturday from Ronda to Malaga. I suffer from water-retention and take a daily diuretic tablet, which makes me need to "pee" every ten minutes or so for several hours..

I was up early that day, so I took my tablet at 05.30 am which gave me about four hours until it would stop working.

[Notice courtesy of Edit.org]    

I didn't drink anything after my early morning black tea (two cups); I went to the loo just before boarding the bus, and, lo and behold, I got away with it!

I arrived at Malaga bus station without having an embarassing "accident".

Another "gripe"

I couldn't get my tickets in advance at the "taquilla" in Ronda bus station, because the ticket clerk WAS ON HOLIDAY!

And another .....

The coach is supposed to offer free Wifi, but it wasn't working! At least it had charging points, so I was able to charge my mobile!

    [Facebook]                                                         [Freepik]

Malaga

The bus station was a 50 minute walk in the heat of the day, so, going totally against my eco-friendly ideals, I took a taxi. That short journey of around 10 minutes cost me more than the bus!

Then I couldn't find my "hotel". Did so eventually (the address was wrong) and was confrontrd by a keycode-controlled door (no reception - well, the place was cheap). Rang the owner who gave me the code. I was in!

Only to discover two more key-controlled locks, one for the landing and one for my room! Another call to the manager and he sent me the codes to my mobile.

When I got in the room, I was shocked. I knew I had to share a bathroom on the landing, but there was no handbasin in the room, no drinks fridge, nothing.

Well, I guess you get what you pay for! Lesson learned!

The Press Club

The walking tour of significant locations in the history of journalism and the Press in Malaga was fascinating .....

..... and the subsequent tapas and raciones at Restaurante El Gallo Ronco were delicious.

The chat over dinner was very interesting and I got to know some new people.

    Rte. El Gallo Ronco [Photo: Paul Whitelock]

For more on this, please click here:

History of the Press in Malaga

Day Two

No problems today. I enjoyed several hours in this fabulous city, before getting the bus back to Ronda .....

..... where I left my handbag with all my important documents, my cash and my mobile phone on the bus!

F**k!

    [Photo courtesy of Facebook ]

Links:

MALAGA CITY - Help me, Ronda

© The Curmudgeon

Pictures:

Edit.org, Facebook, Freepik, renouvo

Acknowledgements:

Damas, Interbus, Paul Whitelock

Tags:

A1 realestate, bus, coach, Costa Press Club, Damas, diuretic, Edit.org, Facebook, Freepik, Granada, Interbus, Madrid, Malaga, Paul Whitelock, renouvo, Ronda, Sevilla, taquilla, The Curmudgeon, train, water-retention, WiFi, www.help-me-ronda.com

I've just decided to change my life - hopefully for the better! I used to be proud of the fact that as a retired person I worked longer hours - unpaid - than when I had a demanding professional career. Who was I kidding?

    [Image courtesy of Medium]

I'm 75 years old and have been retired for 20 years. In that time I've filled my life with loads of activities. House renovations, holiday rentals, real estate, translation and interpreting, teaching English, writing, gardening and DIY.

I've just realised that I've been a bit stupid. I've been ripped off by sundry folk, who have not paid me for the work I've done for them. All of them northern Europeans: English, Scottish, Irish, German. To date, only one Spanish company has done that!

    [Cartoon courtesy of Facebook]

Time for change

So, having been "shafted" by Booking.com and Travelnest, I've decided to give up holiday rentals. My rental house (vivienda rural) is up for sale.

Translation and interpreting is a nightmare. Nobody wants to pay the going rate (I'm cheaper than most, by the way).

Teaching English I was earning the same as a cleaner!

Renovations will be no more. I am owed a fortune by sinverguenzas who have hired me and not paid up!

[image courtesy of Facebook]    

My New Regime

I decided today that I'm going to change my life. I'm going to focus on our home and my marriage.

I have so enjoyed being at home recently, seeing to the pool (a daily task) which Rita and I do together, pottering around in the garden, pruning, clearing debris, having a refreshing swim from time to time. It was so nice.

I have a few ongoing projects at home, eg creating a "man cave" at the back of the garden, and growing my own fruit and veg, both of which I enjoy and will keep me fit.

Lucy and Amy enjoying our pool [Paul W]    

Chasing debts

This will be stressful, but I don't see why I should put up with bad payers.

The "scouse git", Neil Gallagher, who owes me 6000 euros will be hearing from me. I can name him because he is guilty and I have the proof. He has a charge sheet longer than my arm.

British neighbours, and I thought friends, owe me 50 euros for translation services. "Botox and Brag", as a friend of mine calls them, need to pay me or I shall denounce them.

The other Brits who owe me money, I'll probably have to write those off, as they are no longer around.

There is one Spanish company which has taken the p**s. To get anywhere with them, I'll probably have to engage FACUA, similar to the Consumers' Association in the UK.

[Image courtesy of Aqualai]    

Links:

CASA REAL, MONTEJAQUE - Large modernised traditional village house in beautiful pueblo blanco - PRICE REDUCTION 120.000€ - Help me, Ronda

Help me, Ronda - HELP ME RONDA

Rogues Gallery – the name and shame blog - Eye on Spain

© The Curmudgeon (Paul Whitelock)

Photos:

Aqualai, Facebook, Medium, Paul Whitelock, Wikipedia

Tags:

Aqualai, Booking.com, Casa Real Montejaque, Eye on Spain, Facebook, FACUA, "man cave", Medium, Neil Gallagher, Paul Whitelock, Rogues Gallery, The Curmudgeon, Travelnest, Wikipedia

All along the coasts, on the islands, at airports and in larger towns a German speaker can always buy the latest copies of "Bild", "Die Welt", "Die Zeit", "Frankfurter Allgemeine" ("FAZ"), "Suddeutsche Zeitung", "Stern", etc, albeit at an exorbitant price.

For news about southern Spain and the islands in the German language, I only know of two possibilities, "SUR Deutsche Ausgabe" and a German-language edition of "The Olive Press".

SUR Deutsche Ausgabe

An offshoot of "SUR in English", the free weekly newspaper that is published in Marbella and has just celebrated 40 years. 

The German edition was first published 20 years ago and costs 1 euro.

The German SUR covers the the Costa del Sol, Costa Tropical, Malaga province, Andalucía and Spain as a whole - at www.surdeutsch.com.

    [Image courtesy of www.surdeutsch.com]

The Olive Press

The free English-language fortnightly started in western Andalucía in 2005, then absorbed the longer-running eastern Andalucia edition. Originally based in Arriate, near Ronda.

Since then publisher Luke Stewart and editor Jon Clarke have sought to expand.

Now based in San Pedro de Alcantara on the Costa del Sol, the paper has additional versions on the Costa Blanca, Gibraltar, the Balearics.

A year ago the OP launched a German version which appeared monthly. They have recently cut it back to a bi-monthly.

  [Image courtesy of Issuu]

The Last Word

As someone who worked at The OP in its early days, since leaving I have had the dubious privilege of watching its fall, rise, and fall again, albeit from a distance.

  [Image courtesy of Facebook]

I have a few gripes about current OP policy. The paper is free but the online version lurks behind a "paywall". A contradiction in terms, surely.

SUR in English, meanwhile, has gone from strength to strength with new-ish editor Rachel Hynes continuing the pioneering work of Liz Parry (BEM) who founded the paper and retired in 2021.

That DIARIO SUR has just launched a free online version of SUR Deutsche Ausgabe, a print edition of which you have to pay one euro for, is to be applauded.

    Celebrating 40 years of SUR in English with Rachel Hynes (2nd right) and Liz Parry (far right) [SUR in English]

I think I should have a word in Jon Clarke's ear!

Links:

Olive Press News Spain - Best Expat Newspaper in Spain

SUR deutsche Ausgabe launches new online edition | Sur in English

SUR Deutsche Ausgabe - Nachrichten auf Deutsch von der Costa del Sol

© The Curmudgeon

With thanks to:

Bild, Curmudgeon, Diario Sur, Die Welt, Die Zeit, Facebook, FAZ, Issuu, Jon Clarke, Liz Parry, Luke Stewart, Paul Whitelock, Rachel Hynes, Stern, Suddeutsche Zeitung, SUR Deutsche Ausgabe, SUR in English, The Olive Press

Tags:

Andalucía, Balearics, best expat newspaper, Bild, Costa Blanca, Costa del Sol, Costa Tropical, Curmudgeon, Diario Sur, Die Welt, Die Zeit, Facebook, Frankfurter Allgemeine, FAZ, free newspaper, Gibraltar, Issuu, Jon Clarke, Liz Parry, Luke Stewart, Malaga province, Marbella, Nachrichten auf Deutsch, Paul Whitelock, paywall, Rachel Hynes, San Pedro de Alcantara, Spain, Stern, Suddeutsche Zeitung, SUR Deutsche Ausgabe, SUR in English, The Olive Press, www.surdeutsch.com

, 

I've always had a love/hate relationship with Ryanair, the Irish low-cost airline.

When Ryanair started out, back in 1980, I always preferred its main competitor easyJet, run by the charismatic and charming Greek Stelios Haji-Ioannou (Athens, 1967) as compared to the abrasive and aggressive Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary (Dublin, 1961).

My Ryanair History

For several years we flew easyJet out of Manchester, but then we switched to Liverpool John Lennon airport, a Ryanair hub, because the flights were cheaper and the routes and timings more convenient. We had bought an apartment in Ronda (Malaga) in 2001 and also a house there two years later. For years we flew to Granada, until Ryanair pulled out over a row about landing fees, so we resumed flying to Malaga airport, usually with Ryanair, for the reasons mentioned.

I hated the experience. These were the days of the undignified sprint to board the plane as no seats were allocated back then. Only to discover that the cabin crew, all sassy scouse lasses, were rude and unfriendly, made our flights far from pleasant experiences.

But, hey, the flights only lasted around 2 and a bit hours and were ridiculously cheap (sometimes as little as 5€) that I put up with it.

In addition O'Leary's quest to extract as much as possible from passengers with extra charges and expensive onboard drinks and snacks, and penny-pinching when it came to refunds or compensation, was incredibly frustrating.

Makeover/Charm Offensive

Then it all began to change when Ryanair pioneered seat allocation, at an extra cost, of course, if you wished to choose your seat - aisle, front, middle, back, extra legroom. Charges for your luggage were next. Nowadays a checked-in 15kg case can cost more than the flight!

As a result when I fly Ryanair to the UK to visit family, I squeeze a minimum of clothing into my free hand luggage, on the grounds I can always wash and dry socks and underwear as I invariably stay with one of my kids or my brother.

The airline must also have invested in staff training because cabin crew suddenly became friendly and pleasant, or maybe it's because they weren't from Liverpool! 

Just to be clear and fair, I worked on Merseyside for 25 years and I just loved the people, for their cheeky humour. 

From Liverpool (one of my favourite cities for its vibe, its pubs, its two cathedrals, the Everyman Theatre, the Cavern Club and its refurbished docks), to Bootle, Formby, Southport and Maghull.

I must not forget St Helens and Newton-le Willows, where I also worked for six and nine years respectively, before clocking up a decade in the borough of Sefton. 

Endword

Despite all the above, I've grown to "love" the Irish airline, as it serves its purpose, ie cheap, "no frills" air travel to almost anywhere in Europe.

By the way, my German (second) wife won't hear a bad word said about Ryanair.

© The Curmudgeon

Links:

20+ Things To Do In Granada - Not Just The Alhambra (2025)!

Fear of flying? - Olive Press News Spain

My first post-Covid flight - Secret Serrania de Ronda

My Special Places in Spain

My Top 10 places in Ronda - Secret Serrania de Ronda

Ryanair one of four airlines fined for illegal charges for passengers
 

Photos:

MerseysidePrepared, MerseyTravel, Ryanair Help Centre, Trip Advisor, Wikipedia

Acknowledgements:

Olive Press News, Paul Whitelock, Ryanair, Sophie Pearce, ThirdEyeTraveller, Wikipedia

Tags:

Athens, Bootle, Cavern Club, Curmudgeon, Dublin, easyJet, Everyman Theatre, Formby, German, Granada, Irish airline, Liverpool, Liverpool John Lennon Airport, low-cost airline, Maghull, Malaga, Manchester, Merseyside, MerseysidePrepared, MerseyTravel, Michael O'Leary, Newton-le Willows, Olive Press News, Paul Whitelock, Ronda, Ryanair, Ryanair Help Centre, St Helens, Sefton, Sophie Pearce, Southport, Stansted airport, Stelios Haji-Ioannou, ThirdEyeTraveller, Trip Advisor, Wikipedia 

Just as I am preparing to apply for Spanish citizenship – deadline end of January – the country is doing its best to put me off going ahead!

[Image courtesy of Gobierno de España]

First of all, two of Spain’s police forces have p**sed me off big-style and on top of that two places have convinced me never to visit again.

What’s the story?

I have made an agreement with another “guiri” immigrant that we shall both apply for Spanish citizenship before the end of January.

However, As I get my bits and pieces together, a few things have happened recently that have made me have second thoughts.

[Image courtesy of The Spanish Passport Office]

The police

The policía local fined me for a parking infringement in Marbella (Málaga), and in the same week I received a fine for dangerous driving by post from the guardia civil in Benaoján (also Málaga).

Both are mistakes, which I can prove, so I intend to make alegaciones.

    [Policia Local]                                                                         [Guardia civil trafico]

Places I shall avoid in future

Added to my issues with the constabulary, I visited a couple of places on New Year’s Eve that will never ever benefit from my presence again.

Plaza Mayor, a shopping centre near Málaga airport, is a joke!

Driving in to park takes ages and leaving even longer!

The shops are only designer outlets, so of no interest to me. My tailors shall remain Aldi and LIDL.

I also lost my keys and it took me several hours of being sent from pillar to post to get them back.

Plaza Mayor [El Confidencial]

Up to now I’ve held a positive view of Málaga City – not any more! This jewel in the crown of Andalusian cities turned me off on New Year’s Eve, possibly for ever.

The capital of Málaga province is amazing. The Casco Antiguo, Picasso’s legacy and the renovated port area, not to mention its beaches, make this one of the best of the eight Andalusian capital cities.

           Málaga City from above [Wikipedia]              Costa Press Club with Picasso [KS]         

                   Málaga City [Spain Info]

However, going there on New Year’s Eve was a BIG MISTAKE.

I was heading for The Shakespeare, an English pub with an amazing range of beers plus live music run by an Englishman, Peter Edgerton, who is also a writer and musician.

Unfortunately, there’s no parking nearby, but I found a space in a multi-storey car park, allegedly 10 minutes’ walk from said pub.

I parked just after 7.30 pm.

Well, I walked for miles and for hours looking for this pub. Google Maps could not take me there! I never found it!

I was due at Málaga airport to pick up my missus at around 11.30 pm.

So, I gave up on The Shakespeare and decided to retrieve my car and head for the airport, a mere 20 minutes away.

Google Maps was also unable to take me back to my car park.

Rita rang me. “I’m just going up to the pick-up point,” she said.

I had to apologise that I had lost my car, and it might be a while.

Malaga-Costa del Sol airport [The Olive Press]

Eventually, Google Maps decided to co-operate, and I found my car.

By this time, it was way past 12.30 when I eventually got to Rita. So, we missed celebrating Nochevieja together. Good job I hadn’t bought grapes!

***

With hindsight, Málaga City was not to blame for my disastrous evening, the place was buzzing with revellers and the atmosphere was, as ever, good and not at all threatening, despite the many intoxicated people out and about.

It was Google Maps fault! Time and again this app has let me down:

Google Maps cannot bring delivery drivers and first-time visitors to our house just outside Ronda.

Google Maps could not take us to the Mezquita in Córdoba. The Arab Mosque is not only one of the most famous landmarks in Córdoba, but also Spain and the world.

[Image courtesy of El Confidencial]

Google Maps tries to bring visitors from Montejaque (Málaga) to Grazalema (Cádiz) through the narrow streets of the Casco Antiguo in Montejaque, instead of along normal local roads. This happens on a regular basis.

Google Maps is not fit for purpose!

Back home

Rita had every right to be cross, but she wasn’t. However, when we got home at around 2.30 in the morning, she hit the roof. She didn’t like the way I’d decorated the house for Christmas!

[Image courtesy of Freepik]

Conclusion

Not the best New Year’s Eve I’ve ever spent! But it is what it is!

BTW, Rita and I are best of friends again!

        Rita and Paul, best of friends [selfie]

¡Feliz año!

© The Curmudgeon

Photos and images:

El Confidencial, Freepik, Gobierno de España, guardia civil, Karl Smallman, Olive Press, Paul Whitelock, policia local, Spain Info, Spanish Passport Office, Wikipedia

Links:

Christmas "de Rodríguez" - Rita’s alternative Christmas Dinner

De Rodríguez – at Christmas?

"DINNER FOR ONE" - A New Year's Eve Phenomenon

Fish for Christmas and no gifts? - Help me, Ronda

MALAGA CITY - Help me, Ronda

Mini-break in Malaga - Help me, Ronda
 

Tags:

Aldi, alegaciones, Arab Mosque, beaches, Benaoján, Cádiz, capital of Málaga province, Casco Antiguo, Córdoba, dangerous driving, designer outlets, El Confidencial, Englishman, English pub, ¡Feliz año!, Freepik, Google Maps, grapes, Grazalema, guardia civil, Karl Smallman, LIDL, live music, Málaga, Málaga airport, Málaga City, Marbella, Mezquita, Montejaque, New Year’s Eve, Nochevieja, Olive Press, parking infringement, Paul Whitelock, Peter Edgerton, Picasso, Plaza Mayor, policía local, range of beers, renovated port area, Rita, Ronda, Spain Info, Spanish citizenship, The Curmudgeon, The Shakespeare, Wikipedia, www.eyeonspain.com, www.help-me-ronda.com, www.secretserrania.com, www.theolivepress.es

áéíóúü€£

By The Curmudgeon

I am basically a law-abiding citizen, a democrat, who fully understands that society needs rules in order for life to function. And that therefore a police force is required.

However, it’s odd that Spain needs three, which are all independent of each other.

Although when it comes to which force is responsible for what, the lines are somewhat blurred.

Click here to find out more: Spain's three police forces explained... and who does what!

The Curmudgeon and the Cops – A Brief History

USA

In Malibu California (USA) in 1968, I got talking to a couple of cops outside a general store where we and they had stopped for refreshment.

“Is it true that British cops don’t carry guns?” they asked.

I confirmed that this was the case.

“Well, how do they do their job then?

I tried to explain, but they didn’t get it.

I learned that they had both previously worked in San Diego, which was apparently full of dangerous armed criminals. Their job was very stressful and dangerous, they told me, and they were delighted to have been transferred to peaceful Malibu, home of film stars and other rich people.

“But we still need to carry a gun”, they informed me.

UK 1

In 1989 I was stopped for speeding in Warrington (Cheshire). When the traffic cop found out I was a teacher, which I was back then, you could see him lick his lips. He threw the book at me! B****rd!

I guess he had had a bad time at school and didn’t like teachers.

My recollection of my time teaching at a Roman Catholic Boys’ Grammar School in the 1970s was that the big lads who were good at rugby and passed few, if any, O-Levels, joined the police!

Blimey!

UK 2

In 1993, on a Saturday morning, I had picked up my two young kids from a trampolining session and was rushing my daughter across town for her ballet class and my son to his karate lesson, and I was stopped for exceeding the speed limit.

Amy burst out crying: “I’m going to be late for ballet”, she sobbed. The copper must have had a daughter too, cos he let me off! Amazing, as I was as guilty as sin!

Spain 1

Until this week, I’d always got on well with the Spanish “Fuzz”, whether Policia Nacional, Policia Local or Guardia Civil.

But this week I’m fed up to the back teeth! And it’s only Thursday!

I received a fine by registered post for a trumped-up driving misdemeanour. When I tried to pay it within the 20 days in order to get a 50% discount, THE COMPUTER WOULDN’T LET ME!

The Guardia Civil wanted 200€ instead of the discounted 100€ to which I was entitled. The problem is, and it’s more than frustrating, you can’t speak to a human being, only the disembodied voice on the computer.

I consulted my gestora and she said: “Paul, just pay it. You can never win against the police, even if you are in the right, which I think you are, by the way. They will never back down!”

So, I thought, “Nothing has changed really since Franco’s time!” [Back in time the guardia civil were Franco’s stormtroopers, but, I thought in the 50 years since the dictator’s demise, things had changed! Apparently, not.]

Spain 2

Yesterday, we were in Marbella for medical appointments. I parked in a blue zone, controlled by parking meters. Having failed to pay at three different machines, which were all clearly out of order, I downloaded the parking app, registered my car and thought: “Bob’s your uncle!”…..

….. But when we got back to the car after our medical examinations were over, there was a piece of paper stuck under one of the windscreen wipers!

A parking fine! 50€!

“Excuse me! I downloaded the app.”

The parking ticket said “no anulable”.

This presented me with a number of obstacles to sorting things out there and then:

• There were no local bobbies around for me to point out their error to.
• The Town Hall, who are responsible for issuing the ticket, was closed, as it was after 2.00 pm.
• Friday is dia festivo nacional, Saturday is Saturday, Sunday is domingo and Monday is another dia festivo (Inmaculada Concepcion).
• And I don’t live in Marbella!

I’m inclined to ignore the fine, but they will undoubtedly embargo my bank account for the money, a practice only known in Spain, as far as I’m aware. Who do they think they are, that they can willy-nilly plunder a citizen’s bank account against his/her will?

Banana republic, or what?

I am very fond of calling Spain, my beloved adopted homeland, a "banana republic", because of the handful of things that frustrate not only me, but other “guiris”, AS WELL AS SPANISH PEOPLE.

Top of the list, the way the police treat us, in a very top-down manner. “We’re right, you’re wrong!” With no recourse to justice and fairness.

Bureaucracy, by the way, comes in a close second, but that’s another story, for another day …..

What to do?

In this last case, I intend to try and ring Marbella council. But, that will have to wait until next Tuesday because of the “puente”.

If I that brings no joy, I shall refuse to pay the fine. What are they going to do? Chuck me in gaol and throw away the key? I’m 74, and ailing, so I don’t think they will do that.

No, they’ll just plunder my bank account and steal the 50 euros!

As my wife and my Spanish neighbours always say: “Just pay it, Pablo! That’s the way it is here!”

Excuse me! I thought Franco was long dead, almost 50 years ago!

And, on the anniversary of Spain becoming a democracy, 47 years ago THIS VERY DAY, 6 December, Día de la Constitución, the country is still showing signs of severe authoritarianism (ie state-sponsored bullying!)

I rest my case!

© The Curmudgeon

Links:

Police check in Spain - Secret Serrania de Ronda

Spain's three police forces explained... and who does what!

Photos:

Alamy

BestDiplomats

BBC

Costasur

El HuffPost

Euro Weekly News

Facebook

La Razon

Pueblos de Malaga

www.marbella.es

Tags:

app, Authoritarianism, ballet class, banana republic, British cops don’t carry guns, bureaucracy, California, Curmudgeon, democrat, Día de la Constitución, dia festivo, dia festivo nacional, exceeding the speed limit, Franco, gestora, green zone, Guardia Civil, guiri, Inmaculada Concepcion, karate, law-abiding citizen, Malibu, Marbella council, no anulable, parking app, parking meter, parking ticket, police force, Policia Local, Policia Nacional, puente, Spanish “Fuzz”, Spanish Police, state-sponsored bullying, trampolining, Warrington, Cheshire, USA

áéíóúü©

The most popular day for a día de descanso in bars and restaurants in Spain is Monday. Doh!

Do pubs and restaurants in England have a day off? I think not.

OK, so given that Spanish bar owners and managers seem incapable of organising their rotas to open every day of the week, why do most choose Mondays to close?

I’ll tell you what they say. “We’re tired after the busy weekend!”

Do me a favour!

Preamble

Do English hostelries close for two weeks so that the landlord/lady and his/her family can go on holiday? Of course they don’t – they get a locum in.

And another thing, off season, lots of places round here only open Thursday to Sunday.

Since the Covid-19 pandemic, it seems that bars and restaurants are no longer a service to the public, but simply money-making enterprises for their owners.

Many of my good friends are “publicans”, to use that quaint English term, but they cannot see this issue from my point of view.

“Why shouldn’t we close if it’s not worth opening?” they chorus.

Sorry, I see it differently. If you are an alcoholic, a heavy drinker, a coffee addict or simply a sociable person, who wants to indulge your passion 7 days a week, why shouldn’t you be able to?

Clearly, if you rent your bar/restaurant and have to employ staff, it’s very different to a “landlord” who owns his premises and only family work there, BUT NOWADAYS THEY CLOSE ALSO!

Last night, Monday 25 November

We went out for tapas with English friends, A and T, who have lived in Montejaque (Málaga) for a number of years. Not yet old enough to retire they have “kept the wolf from the door” by renovating properties, renting to tourists and selling at a profit.

Now they have sold their house in Montejaque – they go to the notary tomorrow – and they are leaving to go and live in a house they own near Mojácar (Almería), some five hours away by car.

They are sad to be leaving the Serranía de Ronda, but they now see their future in the far east of Andalucía.

So, as a farewell we decided to go out for tapas in Ronda, bearing in mind that one of us is vegan. Most of the places on my list of favourites which offer vegan dishes were closed. These included Bar El Puente, Bodega Casa Mateos, El Almacén, Miyagi Express, and Siempre Igual.

We started off at another favourite, Café-Bar Sensur. Because of the dearth of other places to go, we stayed there for nearly two hours and ate our fill. Delicious.

Oddly at 10.00 pm the bars that had been open in Plaza del Socorro were already closed or closing. Weird!

Nightcap

We decided to go to Calle La Bola for a nightcap, where a couple of places were still open. We chose Toro Tapas, where we just had a drink and continued our chat.

Interestingly, we discovered that Toro Tapas currently opens every day of the week, lunchtimes and evenings. Good for them!

We had a really nice evening, despite the problem of it being Monday, and promised we would visit A and T in Mojácar next year.

I was in Mojácar for two weeks in 1989 with my first wife and our two young kids (aged 5 and 2 – they are now 41 and 38, each with two boys, my British grandsons). But Rita hasn’t been there.

I remembered enjoying Mojácar, and A and T clearly like it also.

The Verdict

We had a nice time. But I still think all the closures, which are now the norm, it seems, are taking the mickey. But it will never change.

© The Curmudgeon

Links:

Photos:

Facebook

Freepik

The Fork

Trip Advisor

Tags:

alcoholic, Andalucía, Bar El Puente, Bodega Casa Mateos, Café-Bar Sensur, Calle La Bola, coffee addict, Covid-19, Curmudgeon, day off, de tapeo, día de descanso, El Almacén, heavy drinker, landlord, locum, Miyagi Express, Mojácar, Monday, nightcap, pandemic, Plaza del Socorro, Serranía de Ronda, Siempre Igual, sociable person, Toro Tapas, vegan

By The Curmudgeon

British TV in Spain via satellite was switched off for good last April. What is the situation 7 months on?

My original article, here, had so far been viewed a massive 7,235 times when I looked at the analytics a few minutes ago. And there have been 24 comments offering advice and also pointing out that in some areas further north British TV is still available via satellite.

Some of my friends and other contacts provided different alternatives to the one I chose, all of which I included in my article, and none of them have reported problems.

I am grateful to Carolyn E, Nick Flynn, Elaine Gilfillan, Jill LP, Freida Maybury, Christopher Seward, Paul Whitelock, and Julie Wilkinson.

They live in different places in the Serrania de Ronda including Cañada del Real Tesoro, Fuente de la Higuera, Jimera de Libar, Llano de la Cruz, Montejaque and Ronda.

I am also grateful to the many people from across Spain who posted comments which were also helpful.

My choice

I went for the pre-loaded Amazon Firestick. I bought two, one for home in Ronda and one for our rental house in Montejaque.

I am very pleased. It works better in Montejaque where fibre-optic cable has been installed throughout the village.

Our international guests over the year appreciated the channels at their disposal

In Fuente de la Higuera (Ronda) where there is no fibra yet, it buffers occasionally, but I can live with that.

The main thing is I got to watch Match of the Day, International Rugby, and the Olympics in Paris, on the TV in our guest bedroom.

And now that winter weather has arrived it’s nice to sit down in front of the telly and watch Strictly Come Dancing, Question Time, Newsnight or a film on Netflix, all washed down with a glass of wine or two!

© The Curmudgeon

Links and Contacts:

https://www.theportugalnews.com/news/2024-04-08/bbc-switches-off-satellite-signal-whats-next/87701

NordVPN

ExpressVPN

CyberGhost VPN

Elaine Gilfillan, Qualified teacher of EFL, Jimera de Libar   Tel: (+34) 711 01 15 27

Freida Maybury, TEFL qualified English tutor   Tel: (+34) 634 33 01 51

Paul Whitelock, translator and corredor (independent estate agent)  Tel: (+34) 636 52 75 16  www.help-me-ronda.com 

Julie Wilkinson, translator and independent gestora ("fixer")  Tel: (+34) 744 60 65 03 

Images:

Amazon

CharryTV

Hitsmobile

Pesach Sheini

Wikipedia

Tags:

Amazon, Amazon Firestick, British TV in Spain, Cañada del Real Tesoro, CharryTV, Christopher Seward, Curmudgeon, CyberGhostVPN, Elaine Gilfillan, ExpressVPN, fibre-optic cable, fibra, Freida Maybury, Fuente de la Higuera, Hitsmobile, International Rugby, Jimera de Libar, Julie Wilkinson, Llano de la Cruz, Match of the Day, Montejaque, Netflix, Newsnight, Nick Flynn, NordVPN, Olympics in Paris, Paul Whitelock, Question Time, Ronda, Strictly Come Dancing, Wikipedia

By The Curmudgeon

What is going on? When I first came to Spain some 50 plus years ago, you could get a drink and a tapa or a coffee at any time of day.

Nowadays it’s a different matter!

Photo courtesy of Trip Advisor

The problem

I have just driven 17 kilometres from a village of just under 1000 inhabitants to my home just outside a large town in the Serrania de Ronda and ALL THE BARS WERE CLOSED, bar three.

I left Montejaque (Málaga) at 18.50 for the 20-minute drive to my home in Fuente de la Higuera, a pedanía just outside Ronda, and nearly everywhere was shut, except my local where I am writing this, the Hotel Ronda Valley (formerly Hotel Don Benito), Bar La Melli and Bar 101.

I feel like naming and shaming the closed establishments for ceasing to be a service and being only interested in the bottom line. However, I might lose a lot of friends and goodwill by doing so.

Hotel Ronda Valley [Photo A1 Inmobiliaria]

Suffice to say that in Montejaque, in the main square, two were shut; the third, the admirable Bar La Melli, was open. The other two were shuttered up: Bar El R. and Restaurante E.A.

Driving out through the village, Bar El Altillo was shut, although it always is in the evenings. Café Bar 101 was also open.

Next stop, Benaoján.

N’es was shut, Bar El E. also. Newly opened Bar El Escalón was closed (día de descanso, rest day - fair enough).

    Two happy customers at Bar La Melli [Photo: PW]

On the stretch from Benaoján to La Indiana there are three bars: Las B; Bar Restaurante C del G and Venta El P. – all shut.

Next was my local, already mentioned. The nearest to my house, Restaurante La C. has just closed for three months!

What do I think?

As I said in my title, W**t the F**k!

© The Curmudgeon

Acknowledgements:

Photos:

Paul Whitelock

Trip Advisor

Tags:

Bar El Escalón, Bar La Melli, Benaoján, Fuente de la Higuera, Hotel Don Benito, Hotel Ronda Valley, La Indiana, Montejaque, Paul Whitelock, pedanía, Ronda, Serrania de Ronda, tapa, The Curmudgeon, Trip Advisor, WTF, W**t the F**k!