On most Sunday mornings a hot air balloon floats gently above my house in a valley just outside Ronda. I love watching them while I water my garden. The occasional firing up of the flame to keep it flying is the only sound at this early hour.
Last Sunday a globo bearing the name JOY caught my attention. It immediately reminded me of a former girlfriend with the same rather unusual name. All of a sudden the balloon disappeared. It appeared to have gone to ground up the hill to the north. I jumped in my car and went to investigate. Sure enough, it was on the ground in a farmer's field. Then they deflated it, packed it in the company trailer and that was it.
Photos of "Joy" and her crash landing [Paul Whitelock]
Joy
This balloon flight was rather like my relationship with JOY all those years ago - short and sweet and over in no time.
This event set off an idea in my mind. A hook for a retrospective article about other girlfriends whose names have cropped up again in later life: Andrea; Anne; Bev; Brenda; Jac/Jaque/Jacqui; Jayne/Jane; Jeryl/Cheryl; Julia; Liz; Maria/Mary; Michelle; Paula; Rita; and Trish.
Andrea
Andrea was my first proper girlfriend. We met at the Assemblies of God (Pentecostal) church in Exeter. I was in the Sixth Form doing my A-Levels and Andrea was a dental nurse.
Andrea was very pretty and I was thrilled when I asked her out and she accepted. We saw each other every Sunday and frequently in the week.
[Photo: Skills for Health]
It wasn't long before our holding hands and kissing turned into heavy petting and ultimately we made love.
My first ever time, aged 18.
I was at university by this time and Andrea visited me and stayed in my room in the Hall of Residence for a week. Strictly forbidden back in the late 1960s.
Ultimately, me being in Salford and she back in Exeter, meant that we didn't last. But I fondly remember the pretty dental nurse who "stole" my virginity.
[Sign courtesy of Spotify]
It was over 50 years before I came across another Andrea, and then two came along in quick succession, like buses.
The first of these two Andreas was the lovely Uruguayan who came to work in my local near Ronda. She and her fellah, from Argentina, had decided their future was in Europe, so they asked me to help them get Spanish nationality and Spanish passports. Which I did, and they are now fully-fledged "Spaniards".
I like Andrea a lot and given different circumstances, I'd have "chased" her. But we're both married and I'm much more mature these days, so extra-marital affairs are no longer a wise option.
Hotel Ronda Valley [Hotel RV]
The third Andrea was a German guest at the hotel. She was there with her husband Uwe. They are motor-bikers and had come all the way from Cologne to do a tour of Spain and Portugal. They were having a great time riding the bendy roads of rural Spain.
Anne
Anne F and I met at the annual conference of NALA (National Association of Language Advisers) in July 1997.
We had a lot in common professionally, and kept in touch. In the autumn we attended a conference on Primary Languages in Bristol, and the rest is history.
We agreed to collaborate on a bid for EU funding to run a project on developing language teaching in primary schools and we took the first tentative steps in forging a romantic attachment.
I was fascinated by Anne. She was pretty, very bright, unmarried and younger than I was. She owned a house in France. Wow! How sophisticated! I was smitten.
We ended up spending time together at conferences, culminating in a two week Spanish Refresher Course held in Jaca (Aragon). We had a great time, before heading off across the Pyrenees to stay a week in her house in France.
That experience made me want to do something similar, ie own a bolt-hole in Spain, which I achieved three years later. By this time Anne and I were no longer seeing each other, but we had enjoyed our time together.
The course participants in Jaca [photo: source unknown]
Anne P
In 1992 I set up an educational link between St Helens (Merseyside) and Chalon-sur-Saone (Burgundy, France).
The two glass towns had long been "twinned" but there were few, if any, educational activities taking place.
I got the go-ahead to try and set up a work experience programme, something I'd developed with St Helens' German Partnerstadt Stuttgart (Baden-Wuerrtemberg) some years earlier.
First I managed to arrange a meeting with key French personnel, including Anne P, during a civic visit by Chalon dignitaries to St Helens in November 1992.
In March 1993, using a grant from the EU for an International Study Visit, I made a preliminary visit to Chalon, where I was welcomed by M. le Maire, "Guite" L, the educational links person, and the gorgeous Anne P, who was a leading teacher from the town.
I was royally wined and dined and we made good progress on the development of the work experience programme.
The mayor and Anne P at a reception in St Helens [PW]
Later in the year a delegation from Chalon descended on St Helens and I ended up being the host (St Helen's mayor and councillors showed scant interest in the project. When it became a success and there was favourable press and media coverage, they came out of the woodwork to try and gain some kudos).
Moving on, Anne P was as enchanting as ever. I planned to proposition her, but "chickened out". Our paths crossed several times after that, in the UK and in France, but nothing ever came of it.
"Guite", le Maire and Anne by the "cut" in Lymm, Cheshire [PW]
Then I got a job in another borough and so I was no longer involved in the town twinning link in St Helens, so we never saw each other again.
Brenda
Brenda B was in my Spanish class at university. She was petite, bubbly and very attractive. But she had a boyfriend doing engineering.
Then, when we got sent on our "year abroad", she "got off with me"!
We flew to Barcelona en route to San Sebastian, where we were due to spend six months. There were seven of us.
We enjoyed a couple of days in the Catalan capital before continuing in a hire car (a big hire car!) across northern Spain to the elegant Victorian resort which was to be our "home" for the next six months.
Anyway the night before we left a few of us went to a disco in Barcelona where BB made her pitch.
On arrival in Donostia (as San Seb is now officially known) we found beds for the night in a pension at the fishing port, before going "out on the town". The least said about that night and the following day the better!
Anyway, hangovers over we set about looking for long-term accommodation. Three of us ended up at Maria Nieves huge apartment/lodgings - we nicknamed her Snow White.
Roger and I shared a large double room and Brenda had a single to herself.
Brenda and I had an enjoyable time, spending several nights together, although we never made love. Then, all of a sudden, she dumped me for a well-to-do local Spaniard. And, that was that. I was bereft.
Me, Trish, Dave, Joan and Vince Brenda and yours truly on La Concha beach Brenda as Ursula Andress (Bond girl in "Dr. No")
The next two Brendas to turn up, two at once, were Brenda M and Brenda W.
This was around 2009, some four decades later.
Brenda M was a former primary school teacher turned financial advisor who had her own company with her husband, Laurie, in south-east England. They owned a house in Montejaque, where I was living with my new love, the Meter Maid (see below).
They also had another house near Madrid, I found out later.
Brenda W was a retired secondary school science teacher. Married to Jeremy, a retired university academic, they had owned, and still do, a house in Montejaque. They were pioneers, amongst the first "guiris" to buy in the village back in the 1980s.
Also non-residents, they come over several times a year, for two weeks at a time.
Both these Brendas and their husbands became good friends.
Jeryl/Cheryl
Jeryl was my "groupie". She and her flatmates at university used to come to the Star Inn, Salford, where my pal Mel and I were the resident folk singers on Thursday nights.
"Hobson's Choice", as we were called, entertained mainly students who lived in the area.
It wasn't long before we got it together and started dating.
Two years later, in 1975, we got married, a liason that lasted 30 years.
In 2005, my "annus horribilis", we parted.
I think we enjoyed a good marriage, did loads of things together, travelled, had two great children, had a lovely detached house in Thelwall, Warrington, and also bought property together in Spain.
We went through a lot together, most of it positive. We lost all four of our parents: my dad first, then her dad, her mum and finally my mum.
Then, all of a sudden, we outgrew each other.
Jeryl on her 20th birthday [PW]
Jeryl was a university professor, and a brilliant linguist (Russian, French, German and Spanish) took early retirement, retrained and became a professional actress.
She has appeared in some great theatre productions and is often a featured actress on TV in "Casualty", "Doctors" and "Emmerdale".
Jeryl Burgess, professional actor [IMDb]
Cheryl was a vivacious and fantastically interesting lady that I met in a bar in Ronda.
On that first night, we went to a concert together, dined in a restaurant overlooking the Tajo, and then spent the night in her flat.
No sex, however, which was a shame as I really fancied her to bits.
We spent a few weeks together, touring around, talking a lot, skinny-dipping and eating nice food, but the relationship wasn't going anywhere.
Skinny-dipping [Photo: Adobe Stock]
Liz
Or, as our Spanish co-workers called her, Leeds, was from Dublin. We coincided in San Sebastian where I was on the first part of my year abroad (see above). We both worked for DORFE as tour guides.
Liz, me, Marisa, AN Other and Michelle at work Liz, me and "our little boy" (joke!)
Liz and I got on like a house on fire.
When I left San Sebastian after my six months and went to Germany in September for the next half a year, we kept in touch by letter, and when I returned to SS to work the summer season in 1971, Liz was still there. Our platonic friendship continued, but it never developed into a romantic or physical relationship.
Liz K was my equivalent in another Merseyside LEA in the 2000s.
We had a lot to do with each other professionally during that time and often popped up at the same conferences.
We got on really well, and I sensed there was always a frisson of something between us.
When I propositioned her one time, she said: "Paul, we should have f**ked years ago, but now the time has passed!"
Oh, well!
[Image courtesy of Shutterstock]
Liz P from Chester, and Rob, from Salford, moved to the Serrania de Ronda (La Indiana) some five years ago.
I bumped into them in the Venta opposite their house the day they moved.
Liz is gorgeously attractive. Voluptuous is the word, I think. I liked her.
"In your dreams, pal!". That was Rob talking!
Let's be realistic, Liz is younger than my daughter!
Liz, Rob and Libby [selfie]
Michelle
"Michelle, ma belle …..", the plaintive Paul McCartney ballad sung in French, was the first lady with this exotic French name that I remember.
I was a teenager and I loved to sing along to this song which was mostly in French.
Paul McCartney "Michelle" - Live @ AccorHotels Arena, Paris - 30/05/2016 [HD]
[Image courtesy of eil.com]
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Then a few years later, in my early twenties, there was another French Michelle.
She was a tourist guide I got to know when I too was working as a guide/rep in San Sebastian in the early 1970s.
Michelle was a stunner, tanned and very vivacious.
"Way out of my league", I thought at the time, so nothing happened.
What a wimp!
[Photo: Alberto]
The next Michelle was a pupil of mine at the first school I taught at near Northwich in Cheshire.
I taught her Spanish for some five years. She was bubbly, attractive and delightful to teach.
Then, when she was in the sixth form, they suddenly discovered she had an aggressive form of cancer and she was dead at 18!
Michelle's death at such a young age hit me and my faith in God really hard.
Michelle No. 4 was my "taxi driver". I had ruptured my right Achilles tendon playing squash in the summer of 1989, and when I returned to work I was still in plaster and couldn't drive.
Michelle, whom I knew only slightly - she worked in St Helens Town Hall and I was based in the nearby Education Centre - offered to take me back and forth to work.
She lived near me.
Michelle reminded me of Joanne Whalley in "The Singing Detective", starring alongside Michael Gambon, and Michelle was very sexy in an understated way.
Well, I fell for her, hook, line and sinker, although we were both married. It wasn't long before we started a relationship, although we never slept together, regrettably, as far as I was concerned.
Our "summer romance" petered out when it became clear that we couldn't just abandon our respective marriages.
Gambon and Whalley in "The Singing Detective" [Daily Mail]
Paula
I met Paula from The Netherlands in Oviedo (Asturias, Spain) in 2004 when we were both participants in a European Union Socrates Study Visit.
We were there to look at good practice in teaching foreign languages to Early Years pupils. The law in Spain says that children must start learning a foreign language at the age of three, in this case English.
There were delegates from a number of EU countries and the study visit was excellent and very well organised.
Oviedo [Turismo Asturias]
Paula, a Dutch headteacher, and I, an English LEA Languages Adviser, hit it off straightaway.
Long story short, we had a fling, which was very enjoyable.
Paula no. 2 is a stunning Spanish girl from Montejaque (Malaga), my second home.
Classically dark and beautiful she crosses my path to this day. She is not only gorgeous, but simpatica.
Problem is, she is 28 and I'm 75.
And she has a boyfriend ..... who is bigger than me!
[Photo of Montejaque by Paul Whitelock]
Rita
My first Rita was Russian. She was my first wife's "official friend" when Jeryl went on a heavily chaperoned visit to the Soviet Union in 1970.
But they became good real friends and stayed in regular touch for years.
Then in 1989 when Mikhail Gorbachev was president of the USSR and basically tore down the iron curtain with his policies of glasnost and perestroika, we got a message that Rita, husband Sascha and daughter Elena were coming to stay with us in a week's time!
That turned out to be a great couple of weeks, despite me being in a wheelchair (ruptured Achilles) and having no Russian!
The following year we were invited to stay with them in Krasnodar and again we had a great time. Rita was very pretty and I dreamt of a liaison, until I remembered that Sascha was 6'4" tall and "as fit as a butcher's dog"!
As an aside RITA is spelt PUMA in the Cyrillic alphabet - a source of much amusement.
Mikhail Gorbachev [BBC]
28 years later I met another Rita in Ronda (Malaga).
This one was German and lovely, so she got the nickname "Meter Maid". (Geddit? "Lovely Rita, Meter Maid ....." - the famous song by The Beatles).
Lovely Rita (Remastered 2009)
After a whirlwind courtship, carried out in northwest England, North Wales, Yorkshire, South Gloucestershire, South Wales, London and Germany, we moved in together into her house in Montejaque (also Malaga) at the end of 2008.
18 months later we got married (in Germany at Maulbronn Monastery) and in 2011 we moved to where we still live in Fuente de la Higuera, in the campo just outside Ronda.
Rita and Paul get married [photo unattributed]
Trish
Trish L, a big girl from Birmingham, was a good friend at university. We hung about together quite a lot, but it never turned into anything romantic.
She even bathed me a couple of times which was nice but not sexy.
I recall she once told me she loved fellatio!
Since she had a boyfriend, a Frenchman from Annecy, I thought nothing more of it.
It was only afterwards that I realised she had been making me an offer.
Too late!
Trish L up against the wall! [PW]
Trish M was a neighbour and mobile hairdresser some 30 years later. She used to cut all our family's hair. She was very tactile and very sexy.
One day I plucked up the courage to tell her so and next thing we were an item. Her marriage was breaking up and she needed some tender loving care.
But she knew I would never leave my wife Jeryl, so our affaire came to a natural end.
Trish M at work [Freepik]
© Paul Whitelock
Links:
Lovely Rita (Remastered 2009)
Paul McCartney "Michelle" - Live @ AccorHotels Arena, Paris - 30/05/2016 [HD]
Thanks to:
Anon., BBC, Daily Mail, eil.com, Facebook, Freepik, Hotel Ronda Valley, IMDb, Paul Whitelock, Rita Whitelock, Ronda Today, Shutterstock, Skills for Health, Spotify, Wikipedia
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