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Time to move to Spain

Medically retired at short notice our plans to move to Spain are brought forward by a few years. With little time to spare, this is our story.

The Battle of Torrevieja
07 May 2020 @ 22:59

As the time comes to start to reduce the restrictions we are all currently experiencing I feel better as the sun begins to shine and the days and nights become much warmer. As it stands, we are allowed out up to 10 am in the morning and between 8 PM and 11 pm in the evening for a short period of exercise. A plan to lift restrictions is underway and like you all, I hope that it all works and the future is bright. 

It's time to reflect and I've been looking back at the time we arrived in Spain nearly five years ago. I enjoy poetry, both reading and writing and have written about a (previously mentioned) confrontation we had after a night out on returning to our apartment a couple of months after moving here. Keep smiling everyone, I hope you enjoy...


The battle of Torrevieja


It was me or the beast!

It was a late July evening, And it was very very hot

I’d not long moved to Spain, And was enjoying it a lot, 

We’d been out for the night, And ready for our bed

But what turned up at home, Filled me full of dread,


Settled in the bathroom, As if I wasn’t there

Was a dirty great cockroach, Aggressively standing there,

Now I’m a man of steel, and very rarely spooked

But the sight of that beast in front of me, Almost made me poop,


(But it was in the bloody bathroom…)


It slowly crawled right up the wall, Near the showerhead

I decided there and then, And declared war! prior to bed,

Inexperienced as I was at this, My weapons were then drawn

This would be a battle, Which could go on till dawn,

I raised my arms and pointed, I looked him in the eye

It’s you or me you bastard, Be prepared to die!


Then it swooped upon me, Came at me full steam

Like it was leading 933 squadron, And looking rather mean, 

I didn’t know they flew, No one told me that

As it squared up in front of me, In my habitat,

I yelled my war cry, to frighten him off (fingers crossed in hope…)

My wife swears to this day it was a scream

OK, maybe it was a little high pitched,

And she’s being decidedly mean,


I took the fight to the enemy, One of us had to die

Determined to be victorious, I was in full war cry!

The tension was unbearable, You could cut it with a blade

Like Jack the giant slayer, This foe must be slain,


I’m fighting for my peace of mind, Fighting for my life

Fighting for our freedom, Both mine and my wife’s,

He attacked but I survived, Was this just the first wave?

Now above other times in my life, I needed to be brave,


And then…  there was quiet!




As I crawled through the hallway, You could hear a pin drop

All I could think of was, Who would come on top?

Suddenly I heard scuttling, What should I do?

Then I saw my foe, As big as a size 9 shoe,


As it climbed again, I was primed and ready

Lives depended on my bravery, My hands though, were far from steady,

I reached for my weapon, A large calibre 750 millilitres ‘Zum’

Leroy Merlin’s finest…

I would not, dare not, for the sake of my family… run!


I gripped my weapon tightly, Given its size, I felt its strength

Capable of taking out the whole building, I was waiting for my foe at arm's length,

My enemy was big and bold And looked me in the eye

In my mind I was preparing, And ready to say goodbye!


He continued to rise above me, I aimed right at its head

The standard practice I believe, When you want something dead,

I pointed and… BANG! I sprayed…, And then it turned and swooped again

Then rapidly, it ran away too fast for me, As I fired again… in vain,


And boy, it ran…

(It made me think though)


Then a thought came to mind, If he disappears from sight

I’ll be awake and concerned, All bloody night!

Then it turned and lunged again, I drew and again and fired, 

My Zum on automatic, Dirty Harry inspired,


My adversary toppled onto its back, The most dramatic of displays

I rejoiced and made preparations, For him to end his days,

Then I went to scoop him up, To put an end to the fight

Then the bloody critter, Ran off into the night


How that bastard must have run, Because 15 minutes later

I found him again upon his back, A fallen gladiator,


I stood down all my army, After a vicious hard-fought war

And made a victory salute, As I ushered him to the door,

He had what many crave, After a long and vicious campaign

Resting there in peace, Unable to go again,

I said some words of condolence, Then, counted up to three

Then I dropped him down the toilet, For burial at sea.


Like 2


lizy said:
09 May 2020 @ 09:13

Ha,ha. Good one.

Madura said:
09 May 2020 @ 10:39

Ha ha. Been there, but I just run the other way!

dontknow said:
10 May 2020 @ 01:38

Having read your poem,
Which filled me with delight,
I’m definitely not going
To my bathroom, there’s no light!
Can’t get a new bulb
Until lockdown is no more
So thanks again for your poem
Hope there’s plenty more in store.

Charlietwice said:
10 May 2020 @ 13:04

Nice comments, Thanks

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