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Health and Personal Development of young adults

For many years I have been involved in the personal development and health of teenagers and young adults. I have gained an insight into the way their minds work (or don´t work) and the reasons for many of their behaviors. There is nothing that will surprise me at this stage in my career and all sorts of information will land on this blog. Hopefully some of it will help!

"what’s in it for me”.
14 December 2012 @ 13:45

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just last week in college I reflected on an incident that occurred as regards a computer room .

The college where I work is in a relatively new building less than 5 years old . Since moving into the building the class and course numbers have grown and so there is a lot of pressure for rooms and especially computer rooms.

This scarcity has led to a kind of “Rabbit Burrow “mentality where people are very protective over the room or space they have managed to acquire. It was an aspect of working in the college that I noticed very quickly on my return from Spain in September this year

On this particular day I had an Anatomy class for a 3 hour stint and made a decision to teach the first half and have the students type up their work the second half.As there were various classes out on trips I had been informed by my senior colleague that a certain computer room would be free for the day.

When we arrived at the room at 1.15 there was a member of staff there who also was not usually booked into that room and also who had been there since 9.00 am in the morning. Seeing as it was now 1.15 I explained that we would like the room for 1 hour to complete the students work. I presumed that since the lecturer had also taken advantage of this free computer room but had already been there for 4 hours with one class then there would not be a problem.

I was wrong.

I was informed by this lecturer that the students were settled and working and she did not want to move them and intended staying there until 3.00 that afternoon.

At this stage I had to step back, take a deep breath and reflect on where this person was in their life right now and where they were headed.

This also happened in front of 25 students waiting outside the door and so I knew they would be watching my reaction.

We moved off to another non computer room and I proceeded to start a lesson on personal development and the ways in which we attract success in our lives.

Just how many of us need to make that crucial shift and stop selfishly looking around our world for ways to make things better for ourselves and instead look around our environment and discover ways in which we can help others to get what they want.

As the late and great Zig Ziglar said “The more people you help to get what they want, the more people will help you to get what you want”

I believe that when you turn your focus away from yourself towards others or a cause bigger than yourself, you open your mind up to possibility. This shift helps you to invite meaning and fulfilment into your experience and allows you to live according to your highest and most joyful purpose.

Would I have given up the computer room?

Absolutely!

I have learnt a long time ago that by extending myself towards the spirit of giving, I am able to shift the stress and attention off myself and look around my world with a calm and easy set of eyes.

.I know that I am never looked at as a person who is looking to profit at any cost, even at the expense of others and I also know that when we become like this then people mirror our behaviour and we are supported in return.

We remove our ego from the situation and instead of it being all about me it is about us.

People see you genuinely offering service without any expectation of receiving anything in return. The only reward you should ever expect for your giving, is the good feeling, giving itself brings to you.

This good feeling, which comes from giving freely of yourself, is far better than the discomfort and distress, which comes from focusing exclusively on yourself, always selfishly looking around your world, for “what’s in it for me”.

When we foster and nurture kindness towards others, everything in my world changes for the better. As my mind is focused on compassion, exactly that is what I receive from others in return and this allows me to live in a far friendlier world.

Remember that you attract success by the person you become and that you also live in a world, which is a reflection of who you are.

So if you want any level of success in your life and you want to live in a wonderful world with meaning and fulfilment, you can never get what you want, you can only get what you are.

 

I think the students got the message!



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6 Comments


eggcup said:
14 December 2012 @ 13:24

Great stuff, Kathy, but you've got to admit that that person was very annoying and selfish and you must have felt some anger, no? I would have and like you, I would later try to reflect and rationalise in order to feel better - but that transition in my mind wouldn't be as quick as it was for you.


eggcup said:
14 December 2012 @ 13:46

Great stuff, Kathy, but you've got to admit that that person was very annoying and selfish and you must have felt some anger, no? I would have and like you, I would later try to reflect and rationalise in order to feel better - but that transition in my mind wouldn't be as quick as it was for you.


Kathy said:
14 December 2012 @ 13:52

Yes Eggcup I did feel anger but I had 25 pairs of eyes on me watching how I was going to handle the situation and I knew that by displaying anger I would have sent out the wrong message to them.
As it was this lecturer allowed us the opportunity to look at what happens when we become selfish ,thinking only of ourselves and why its important to nuture a kindness that identifies you as a person .
We had a good lesson and at the end of the day they saw some value in the statement that "giving kindness comes back"
If I had displayed anger much of what I had taught and was trying to teach them would have disappeared very quickly.

What this lecturer invites into her life as a result of her selfishness will reflect on what she gets from her collegaues in return.
Sad that sometimes people cannot see that


Patricia (Campana) said:
14 December 2012 @ 18:22

Hello Kathy:

My take would be much the same as Eggcup's.

Leaving aside the organizational factor (a rota for use of those rooms?), I greatly fear the lecturer in question will continue to do exactly the same over and over again, until someone eventually calls her on him/her behaviour. S/he will just plough ahead regardless.
I am not talking confrontation, just assertiveness.

You would have given up the computer room, because you think of others, and you empathize with them.




Kathy said:
16 December 2012 @ 00:37

Hi Patricia
I was so taken aback by the selfishness and it caught me off my guard. I actually questioned her judgement right there at the room door and she knew I was not happy with it as well. Apart from lifting her into the air and carrying her out of the room there was not much else I could do. Her behavior was out of order and the incident has been passed up the line of management.



Patricia (Campana) said:
16 December 2012 @ 16:59

I am glad to hear, Kathy, that hte matter was reported to the management of the school. I was afraid you meant the matter was just left as it was.

Also, it is surprising that someone with that kind of behaviour has a post in that or any school.

Rude people do take us aback, as we naturally assume others are reasonable.


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