Green Lemons are Limes

Vanishing

The biopsy confirmed that the tumour was the most aggressive kind. The only treatment was radiotherapy and chemotherapy together. This would not cure Mum, at best it would give her another two years. Her speech and mobility would not improve.
Since the biopsy, she was going downhill daily. She could not be left alone, so I spent the days, while dad was at work caring for her. It broke my heart. I had to stay strong for my parents and my kids. The only time I had to grieve for the wonderful person who was now, vanishing by the minute was the car ride home.
The only professional who helped was the occupational therapist, she gave us practical advice and aids to help with the mobility issues. She was a huge support. MacMillian nurses were unable to help because when the treatment started no-one knew when Mum would be home. Friends and family were wonderful, even with the misinformation my Dad had told them. It wasn’t that he was lying, it was more he couldn’t accept the situation himself and telling people would somehow make it real.

The school holidays started so now the girls had to come with me, I was determined to make it fun. Shopping trips, the beach but as time went on it became impossible. Mum’s mobility was getting so bad that she couldn’t walk more than a few meters and I could no longer take her out. So we did what we always did and made games at home. Turning the stairs into a plane, picnics in the family room. The girls were amazing, I had told them that Nanny was very poorly, she had something growing in her head. I also told them she might die. It felt the right thing to do, prepare them for what would happen. I believe that if you don’t tell children the truth, the stories they make up are far scarier. Although how anything could be scarier than this truth, I don’t know.