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Donna Gee - Spain's Grumpy Old Gran


Orange you glad it was only 103 in the shade?
31 July 2015 @ 22:33

If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen, the saying goes. If the alternative is to melt away on a patio lounger at 103 degrees Fahrenheit, then gimme the chef’s furnace every time.

Even with every hotplate at Level 10 and the oven on maximum heat. 

My kitchen is ­currently like an ice-box compared to the garden, which has been in meltdown since the Spanish authorities sounded that Orange Alert at the start of the week. The bells on my orange tree have been peeling ever since. 

If Monday’s 103-degree burn-up turned out to be the hottest sun day of this baking summer so far, then the rest of the week in my part of the southern Costa Blanca has also had a distinct taste of Britain about it. Not that stewing in a pan of hot-pot is my idea of enjoying the Spanish summer. The forecasters reckon that temperatures in the Torrevieja and Murcia are will remain in the 90s and above for another fortnight. The consolation is that I’m talking Fahrenheit, not Celsius, though I reckon the water in a boiling kettle is cooler than the steering wheel of my car these days. OK, I'm to blame for that - I'm too lazy to cover the windscreen overnight and by the time I get up next morning, the interior is invaribly suffering from severe sunburn. My lips are sealed on the time I get up!

The heat is also affecting my sense of humid. I mean humour. I am so disorientated by it all that I’m starting to believe that Chile is a South American ice-cream company. 

Don’t talk sweat, did I hear ­someone say?

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