Friends in Spain, They Come And Go

Published on 13/11/2007 11:27:52 in Spanish Lifestyle

Making friends plays such a major part in adapting to your new life in Spain. Although, they can’t replace those that you left behind, it is good to build a support network whilst you are settling in. It is comforting to find people that we can meet and go out with. You may find people that you have lots in common with and others you may want to run a mile from. It’s a bit like starting school again and having to suss everybody out.

The filtering of friends process is good to distract you from missing your old ones. It helps with the loneliness associated with living in a new place. Eventually, you will end up with friends that you consider quite close. You may even experience a bit of jealousy when you flash your new friends proudly to your old ones when they come out to visit.

However, is it so important not to sever ties with your old friends in the UK even if it means having to put up with them for a fortnight every year. Although, you will have changed moving to Spain, these friends are still very special and know your history. Making new friends in Spain isn’t always so straight forward as you would think in this wonderful paradise where everyone is supposedly happy and dreams come true. This might be the case for you but you have to be careful to guard against befriending people who are going to drag you down whilst you are settling into you new life. When you are a newbie, you are at your most vulnerable to these characters because, naturally, you want to meet people and make friends. The problem is that amongst the expat community, there are those who have brought their ‘issues’ with them and are intent in sharing them with anybody who will listening to the point of off loading and taking advantage.

Some people may have ulterior motives when forming friendships. There are a lot of people desperate to stay in Spain and if they think that you can help them to further their own ends then they may be keen to be friends. Likewise, its hard to know who is genuine and who you can trust because you have only their word to go on. You know nothing about their history and are unlikely to find out so far away from their home. There are people who are running away from all kinds of problems and you may not discover this until they finally go back to face the music and it usually all comes out.

The truth is friends in Spain they come and go. Just because you have fallen in love with the place, it doesn’t mean that your new friends have. So many people end up going back for one reason or another. It is usually for health reasons, they miss their families or they can’t earn a living. Although, people promise to stay in touch it can be difficult for them if Spain was their dream and you are still living it without them.

It is particularly sad for children who are at the mercy of their parents decisions. After having a hard time settling, they finally find a friend that they connect with and then it feels like they are taken away. This is actually really common as so many young families come out with the need to earn a living and when they can’t their only option is to return to the UK taking the children out of school again.

So you may feel like you are meeting more people than you have ever known in your life but friendships can be very fluid and it can be difficult to achieve what you had in the UK without getting to know lots of people over a much longer stretch of time. The thought that this person may go back or move on is always a barrier to getting close as is not feeling that you know enough or can trust people. Nevertheless, it is not impossible to find like minded, decent, honest friend like yourself. It just takes a bit of time and caution. Once you do find good friends, they almost become like your family as only they know what your new life is about and the new you.

Written by: Susan Pedalino

About the author: Women In Spain

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Comments:

Perrytree says:
I agree completly with Susan. I came here 5 years ago with my husband who had cancer but in remission. We only had 10 months together here before he died. I was lucky enough to find some realy good friends who helped me though it all. I do not intend to return to England in the near future, but who knows what is round the corner. I have made a good life here.
14/11/2007 18:21:00

shanti says:
It is better one
02/01/2010 11:39:00

Nadeem says:
hi plz contect me
23/07/2010 09:10:00

kaiser says:
plz contact me at chasusuh05@yahoo.com
27/09/2010 14:44:00

OLivia 20100 says:
Hy,
PLZ Perrytree contact me at c.caron13@voila.fr, I contacted Kaiser waiting for answer.
Regards
18/11/2010 19:31:00

choudhary says:
shahidch_uae@yahoo.com
i need a sincere girl friend in Spain, Germany or Paris as um comming there for visit in June 2011

27/03/2011 12:15:00

chulz says:
i need a frnd in spain.girl or boy.i love umburto bilancioni.i drink congec.im assertive.
22/04/2011 16:07:00

oywale ezekiel says:
The heart matters most! really , what you are now matters, you've got much more places to go to and at the same time meet new good looking people.the point is, in every thing you do just be yourself
11/08/2011 17:22:00

Bibi Brian says:
I need a spanish friend
29/08/2011 23:02:00

Amir says:
Hi

Looking for a friend who lives in spain , i am travlleing from usa to Spain for 10 days.

15/11/2011 20:23:00

Kcs.fernando says:
I need some friends who live in Malaga.

17/11/2011 14:36:00

Miguel estrada says:
Hola mi nombre es miguel, i trabajo en una compania que acaba de abri sus puertas en españa, si estas interesado te puedes comunicar. Mestrada12345@yahoo.com para mas informacion, redico en estados unidos y soy mexicano.
21/01/2012 17:08:00

Rashid says:
Hi
looking forward finding friend for trading aspect in Spain.
contact me at ariadadashi@yahoo.com

02/02/2012 10:20:00

Di says:
Hi all, my husband and I will be retiring within the next 12 months and would love to find some friends to communicate with before that time.
I am currently working for my local county council and my husband works for a very well known communications company.
We have both made up our minds that life's too short and we want to retire a little early, we are 57 and 58 and still young at heart, well enough to still want to do things anyway.
We are not health fanatics, nor are we obese and unfit, the inbetweenies you could say.
Please get in touch to let us know that there are other like minded people out there that we can share some meals and chat with.
cheers Di
23/02/2012 23:44:00

pelle says:
hi,iam from namibia would lyk 2 correspond wth friends in spain
01/03/2012 17:41:00

Peter says:
Hi
I moved to Spain last November, I just love it here BUT meeting your Soul mate out here is NOT easy. So in case there's a lovely solvent lady out there who loves Boats, wants amagic change in her life. ha ha
Please get in touch
Peter. Roses Spain
04/06/2012 10:01:00

Anslem says:
Looking for a mutual friend in spain.
17/06/2012 17:06:00

mosa says:
i m mosa from bangladesh, i m looking some best friends spacially from spain,
please contact: mosarof.09@gmail.com
21/06/2012 11:36:00

patrick says:
I NEED A GOOD FRIEND.U CAN CONTACT ME ON THIS MILL asiamahpat77@yahoo.com
15/07/2012 23:34:00

Kenan says:
Just wanna be friend with a Spanish girl..Mail me please.. hanoglukenan@hotmail.com
28/07/2012 19:42:00

Carl says:
HI
An excellent overview of friends and the good that comes from it, unfortunately as Susan sau=ys there are those who have to leave for various reasons only know to them.
I want to make new friends and be honest from the beginning as to why.
I am sixty and alone, I have a few friends but they are all couples.I live outside London and will be coming to live in Spain as my house is on sale, my plan is to rent and then buy depending on the area.
I truly want to meet people who have made the decision to live in Spain and discuss and learn from their knowlegge what to do and how to do it....I am a good listener.
Please, if there is anyone who wants a new friend and is will ing to communicate and build a friendship please write.
Thnk you
Carl
carl.wiltshire@virgin.net
19/08/2012 14:14:00

Devendra says:
This is me guy from Nepal. I love friendship all around the world. Spain is my dream place. I wanna make good friends from Spain. Any guy or dear plese contact me , without any hesistation, in the following mailing address.
thebestibe@live.com
Thanking You
Devendra, Nepal
20/08/2012 07:50:00

RIZWAN says:
plz contact me at rizwan.a1@hotmail.com. I need a Spanish girlfriend for business aspects.
11/10/2012 16:22:00

MAXIME says:
TRUST YOU DIRTY MOROCCAN BAZTARDZ TO COME ON HERE - PIZZ OFF WE DONT WANT YOUR FILTH.
10/11/2012 14:50:00

Shaneen says:
Hola everyone,

I am a 30 year old lady from Tanzania, East Africa. I would really like to get some friends males and females who can give me a good company during my trip to Spain in December.

I am planning to visit Madrid and Barcelona. My interests are music, soccer, hanging out, meeting new people as well as sharing talk with friends.

Looking forward to contacting new friends soon.

Shaneen.

shaneenmalick@yahoo.com
21/11/2012 16:43:00

ESTHER says:
HI MY NAME IS ESTHER AM 24YR OLD I WANT A FRIEND CAN ÉMAIL www.effiongsonesther@yahoo.com
21/12/2012 17:21:00

Barclays says:
Am a handsome young Nigerian of 24, I need a female Spanish as a friend or partner between d age of 23-27, if interested contact me through facebook or e-mail on barclaysbarclays@yahoo.com, phone number:+2347035702456
04/04/2013 10:11:00

Barclays says:
Am a handsome young Nigerian of 24, I need a female Spanish as a friend or partner between d age of 23-27, if interested contact me through facebook barclaysbarclays
04/04/2013 10:15:00

HANU JOSHI says:
Hi, i want true friendsheep with spainis.. if who want to be my friend pls contact me.. i from india.. mobile- +919772741010. Email.. hanumonujoshi@yahoo.in
05/05/2013 07:24:00

Shane Eagland says:
Hi, My name is Shane and my wife and I and 3 young children are planning on moving to Spain next year for a 2 year stay. We would love to communicate with people around the Costa Brava area. Please email us at melanieeagland@gmail.com would love to know more about spain
14/05/2013 22:21:00

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Friends in Spain, They Come And Go

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