Fifty Shades of Oh My Gawd....v.2

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his girlfriend moved forwards then backwards......forwards then backwards......back and forth.........back and forth........in and out.........in and out.

Her heart was now pounding faster, her face flushed as she moaned, softly at first........then she began to groan louder! Finally.....totally exhausted she let out an almighty scream!!!

"Ok, Ok! I can't park the f**kin car! You do it you smug ba**ard!!"

Brilliant - made me giggle!

and how true - possibly!

This or something very similar actually happened to me. Within weeks of  passing her driving test in 1973 my first wife had already acquired the nickname Leadfoot. She had just two speeds, flat out or stop. Absolutely no respect for machinery. She couldn't parallel park to save her life and reversing 90 degrees into a parking slot left a whole lot to be desired.

We had driven down from North Wales to Portsmouth to visit one of her aunts and she was attempting to reverse into said aunties driveway. Having shunted both gate posts in two consecutive attempts to actually reverse between them, seeing a somewhat unsympathic hubby shaking his head in disbelief, she drew forward into the middle of the road, completely stopping the flow of traffic, opened the door, climbed out and said...

"OK smart arse... You do it...."

Auntie got the score cards out as she always did...

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My 83 year old mother-in-law actually did this a couple of weeks ago, jumped out of the car blocking the road saying to my father-in-law 'you do it then', problem is he's 86 years old and blind!  Fortunately my husband was able to come to the rescue.

Heather's favourite comment was always

"If God had intended cars to go backwards he would have put a steering wheel in the back..."

Cant argue with logic like that...!

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