newly single at 40ish and living it up? on the Costa

Well I finally went to my first class and very enjoyable it was.

The evening started well by meeting a new friend again, she had came into shop a while ago and we got chatting, I found out she lived very close to me and I gave her my number. Well needless to say I never heard form her, I am the same you get given a number on a piece of paper and than forget all about it. I had just parked my car and she drove up , I mention this because it is just funny how life puts people in your path for a reason and if the first time it does not succeed it tries again and I think this time it has and so we went to jive as newbies together.

I am not sure how I felt , nervous, no not really , I was hoping I would A, not fall over, B, register some of the moves C. be relaxed enough to actually speak. D. have fun.

There were people with partners and people on there own but that did not matter as all the women covered around the outside of a circle and all the men on the inside. Introductions were given and we were off for the first moves, they were mainly experienced and I wonder if he had thought about having beginners and than a more experienced class, as it must of been quite boring for the experienced ones. He showed the first move and off I was jiving, well, in my head anyway.

The evening proceeded and after a few attempts you moved around the circle, very enjoyable. I was given the compliment I had natural rhythm, which I already knew , but I kept getting told, to stop leading which I did not realise I was doing and to relax more .

The interesting thing for me was the leading and yea I suppose I do take control or try to take control of things and so I am looking forward to being able to be led as I think this will help me in my every day life too.

I have an upcoming birthday , the last few years I have chosen to forget them really but this one I thought I would actually organise something but in true Helen style it has gone pair shaped. Though I am not to upset as they are good friends and who am I to stand in way of them having the chance to see there loved ones in UK. So do I go for a plan B or do I actually sit up and read the signs that have been coming my way, not to plan anything and just see what happens and stop worrying and go with the flow.

Writing club starts next Tuesday, I have been some thought to that and wondering what I should take to do. I have started a book about my life the last 2 years however I have wondered whether to do a selfhelp book of sorts or even a saucy fiction, must make a decision soon or may be take all my thoughts and get advice at group , either way should help. It may even help with my blog writing which would help to.

It is raining, funny how upsetting it is to see the rain on a Sunday afternoon, I started this post outside but now I am as is my washing.

A big billboard has disappeared from one of the routes upto my hill side retreat (home), It has upset me, I know very weird , but the thing is when I first came to view this place, the billboard had a name on it, and well I saw it as a sign that this place will be good for me and than when I drove past I saw it had gone and I never took a photo of it . I am thinking of walking down there later and see if it has just blown off and see if I can take a picture of the name.

Well let the birthday week commence, ok, let the birthday month commence.

 I have had a pretty weird weekend . Friday started with a little car jaunt to Malaga, which i am pleased to say i followed the directions and got us there with time to spare. All went well his car passed the mot , we popped to ikea while we waited and i am ashamed to say i forgot a shoe rack a friend wanted ages ago, and i spent nothing, which was good for me. Funny liitle thing is the meatballs are still on the menu, i just knew they would be but i did not partake. I did however have kfc on return home.

Saturday i decided to hoover and wash the car, hence the spitting of rain but decision was made and i forged ahead in giving its first wash in ages. The car wash was next to a 2 petrol pumps, i cannot call it a petrol station as only 2 pumps and no shop, just a man  but the prices must of been good as the whole time i was there the cars were queuing to use the pumps. I have no idea as i never look at prices.

Car washed i headed to mercadona, to do some food shopping which i have neglected lately. I took a leisurely stroll round shop but still managed to fill up more than i needed but all healthy stuff, like fruit and loads of salad stuff, ok, a little tub of ice cream too.

When i got to car i noticed the cover of my lock was gone, think helen, did you see it at car wash, dam , i could not remember, after a quick scour on floor, no sign i headed back to car wash and no sign there, weird. ah well, how annoying i thought. Well after taking to garage it seems someone tried to break into car and may of been disturbed and when i think about it someone was near car when i arrived with my trolley , so , grrrr, to having to pay for new lock and cover but relief that at least i still have my car and also pleased the garage said he doubts if anyone could of got into the lock anyway..

Got up Sunday and completely out of salts, my nose was bunged  up and i had a bad headache , but still felt i needed to send some uplifting messages to friends , which i not felt like doing for a wee while. Than my friend messaged me to say she had done some dowsing and she found i had a discarnate, now not sure if i believe but i do know that she asked it to leave and i would feel empty or out of sorts for the day, weird, 

But i know today i awoke way more positive and back to my old self, who gets pleasure from helping /guiding people back on the right track. I also know that at the moment its right for me to build good solid friendships to last. and continue to find myself. 

To bring my latest post to an end, i have given alot of thought to my blog and i also spent some time reading other blogs and i come to the conclusion i started this blog as a way of writing down my own thoughts, feelings and record  my general daily life and most of all enjoy writing and to that end i do enjoy blogging.

 A truly wonderful day , actually the weekend, but i was working yesterday, so , today only , though driving home at night and it is still light is very enjoyable.

A minor rant though, I read on here ,why was pool drained, i went out and looked i could see tape earlier and wondered what it was and now i figured it must be cause the pool is drained, of course it is, why? well 1, i was going to use it today for 1st time this year .2, it must of needed cleaning and thinking about it i never had seen it empty beofre and relunctly 3, could not of done it before as weather so bad i suppose. I did mean to go and investigate if smaller pool was filled as empty last week but alas i did not but i think it is filled as i think i saw people laying by it and why would you lie by a empty pool, mind you i bet it was freeeezing and also betting i would of only have put a toe in it anyway.

So after reading about these baths in Manilva i thought i would take a drive along and see for myself. I thought it may be complicated to find but actually it was sign posted quite nicely, unlike other weekend , when armed with a tom tom, which tells you to go right,  you go right and your infact in a car park , so you head out and try again, right it says, right you go, left it says  , you go left and guess waht your back in car park, now i would not want to trump my own trumpet but when i pointed out turn right at traffic lights as i had a feeling it was the right direction and tom tom said left, we went left and yep we were back at car park, change of tactics, iphones app, off we go and 10 minutes later we back at traffic lights and it says  turn right, oh how i felt good, yep it is confirmed my feelings work better than tom toms(must point out though, the 1 time it took so long to get out of Malaga after lunch we stayed for dinner but that was when major roadworks were on)

We parked on side of road(i have 15mins until jacket potato ready, on jacket potato diet this week as i so neeeed 2 pairs of trousers and 3 tops in our sale and so it must come out my shopping for week, so jacket potatoes it is, to finish this blog)

The walk was a tad bumpy and there were some closed restaurants which is a shame but may be there open in the summer, every now and than we could go top road or bottom road and we took top mostly which seemed to be right.Past a small church and you see people picnicing and bar b cuing which is cool. The area is quite beautiful and all the time you coulf hear the stream and see some manmade little waterfalls,

We see this what i can only describe as a run down looking building but people were eating and talking and so we walked down to investigate it,  Theres a little doorway and like a covered area and down a few like steps is the water , sort of under the building, i am not sure what i was expecting but it was not this, but none the less it was unique and very Spanish in, it had just been left how it was found . People were caking mud on themselves which i had read was good for you but from where , i suppose inside

I DID TAKE my bathers but left them in the car, so i dipped my feet in and it was cold but looking forward to going back and fully dipping in. Walked down to stream and paddled in water, it says in book that you can walk the lengh of the stream back to beginning, that sounds fun too.

Before we returned we went for lunch on one of the beaches i planned to visit this year and so pleased i can tick that one of my list .

 Yes i am back on laptop, after all week being ignored by nephew he appears today with it, apparently nothing wrong with it, oh , excuse me , when it kept going onto safe mode but apparently not for nephew and actually has not done it all evening,  So lets see.

Yes it is Friday night after a pretty good week, i decided i was going out for a few drinkies with friend i had promised to go out with forever but than it dawned on me , the thing i seem to not remember is, i am skint . So Friday evening on sofa with bowl of ice cream and a diet coke, Am i sad, nah, fuck it i say, which leads me nicely onto my fuck it book i am reading ( think i may of mentioned it before, should go and reread and see if i did, nah fuck it , your just have to read again).

Very interesting book and love reading it so randomly, though feeling slightly guilty as it is a borrowed book(hotmates)and should get my own but hey fuck it, i give it back when i randomly flick on page and it says, give the bloody book back. ok ok . i will. soon.

The writers club, looks like it may happen, which means i may have to actually write something more than my waffling. Looking forward to being forced into doing it, cause i think i may be quite good, if i just got myself into gear. Now the plot, well it was going to be saucy/romantic/thriller/ bit of my life but now not sure, thinking even one of these self help books,. I could give some views /advice on being a female, dunno, may stick to fiction.

While i am on subject of diet coke, i have switched to coke zero/caffeine free, well, i brought a 2 litre bottle and plan to switch which is the same .

missy is in.

This Sunday i plan to descend onto the pool scene and i am really going to put myself out there this summer, no just listening to peoples conservation around me, nope i am going to attempt to join in, probably go tits up but i have 5 pool areas to work my magic at and so i am figuring if i screw up, fuck it, move onto next pool, yep it is a plan. just hope all swimwear attire fits where it should. I have sync my kindles ready , shall i blow my rubber ring up a bit more, ( i never deflated it, been in spare bathroom all winter, do not judge, takes a lot of puff to blow up, which was not me as i gained it fully blown up) but thinking i may wait a bit as i can than float over when more crowded.

Plant update, still not very well, 

i have seen that crispello advert 3 times now, is it a sign, mmm, yea , chocolate.

Well not alot happening at the moment, which is good i suppose .

 My laptop is poorly and i have taken it to the hospital to be looked after and hoping not put to rest. So on kindle,which with  scriptive text ,puts words in without me seeing,so apologies now for any randoms.Also this is 3rd attempt on blog as 1st ,battery low and whoosh it was gone ,2nd plugged in,started again and whoosh did not fully plug in.

Its my day off and it is early but  i hear rumbling of workman on landing and reminded of the state of my lovely entrance and the tiles out there and the mess . I am thinking i may take washing line down and regrettably place on front balcony until works finished

I have been in a pleasant up beat mood this week, mainly cause at work we have been thrown a surprise mid season sale, Oh how i love a sale, no really i do, the organising ,planning,,i like a good plan . . But something always throw a curb ball at ya, which what keeps it fun.So keeping busy is good.

must put a new plan into my home life too, i have drifted for far to long ,saying i am going to do this and that and actually only achieving,thinnking,thinking, what have i achieved lately, yep, new plan needed .

plan 1 , go see if pools open, think they are as saw people(well2 people on sunday)'

plan 2 or shall  i just say fuck it to plans and go with the flow and  see where it takes me or  is that ,just me justifying my driftness

well ,getting up now,as it is a beautiful day, kick start my fitness with a wander around and think i have exercised.

Missy is in  a routine , eats,plays,goes out, sleeps, sounds like me weird.

Still looking after 4 cats, a bit stressed with them but not for much longer

 I know i am waffling now, ok  ok ,think i turnover and debate the pros of getting up so bloody early on my day off.

 After a few hairy emotional moments lately a road trip on the back seat, of two very good friends, was just what the doctor ordered.

Of course it never started out as a roadtrip, it started out as a trip to my pick me up place, la canada and kfc, which i have not had in a very long time. So justified, however i do have a little voice in my head now, reminding me i am eating the flesh of rotting animals and all animals deserve not to be killed for me to eat kfc, I am hoping that little voice gets louder and i eat less and less meat, which will bring me no end of benefits and satisfaction.

On a update note, missy i think is in fact a mr , owing to, i think i caught sight of two little things hanging, very little i may add and i do wear glasses occasionally but should wear always. Anyway, she/he has settled into a routine of going out when i get up, so all good as i do not have to worry about black cat arriving and spraying, however i do feed black cat when i see it on balcony and she/he always eats it all before missy finds out.

Any how , on our approach to la canada, we noticed sign for cojin and i mentioned it was really quite beautiful there and so our roadtrip began.

WE drove up the hill and took the usual pictures and looked around, i was asked what was further on and i remembered el dorado was filmed in coin (i now think i got that wrong) and was closed now but at one point was a hotel.

So of we set for el dorado, beautiful drive, up we went, through villages and hills, simply beautiful part of Andalucia, 

Well Coin came and went and El Dorado was not to be seen and at this point we could of turned around, which was muttered at several times after as well.

Why bother turning round when there was a sign for Ronda, its beatiful i said (only been there on the train) and onwards we drove. 1/2 hours later we arrive at Ronda (i may put a H in Ronda at some point as Rhonda is a relative and i spell it with a h).

They love it, thank goodness after the long trip, and who does not, it is delightful little place, actually not so little, i never realised how big the calle real was, probably because all you have time for on the train daytrip is a nice lunch, quick glimpse of bridge and varies views and back up hill to renfe .

After milling about for a wee while and being unsuitably dressed for a mountain town, we were cold and headed back to car.

Surely we do not have to go all the way back to Marbella, we will follow signs to Algercias instead, esp as the road from Marbella was a little bit dodgy we decided it better to try the other way , ( oh hell, we now know, Marbella road way better)

Oh how lovely the hills look, so green, we pass goats,sheep, and all is well in car , they discuss how they will return to Ronda and stay a few days and i enjoy being a passenger.

Well 1 hour later, the hills are not looking so lovely and we are sure we passed a sign half hour before 97 kilometres to Algercias and now we one for 92, what, have we been driving around and around the same hill.

Than a sign for Estepona 39 k, oh hell yea, we cut out 60 k , so off we go, rejuvinated and relieved we will be out of hills before it gets dark.

Than we go over what i can only explain as a road so steep, it felt like we were going over the edge but 

sorry, need to interrupt story, as i have had a strange feeling, i have just screwed up in my intuitions as i totally only just realised and partly through reading up so much on  religion that i had the honour of knowing one of the most genuine,friendly, what was the word i thought of, it started with c , oh blow ,what was it. and positive person and i let my negativety take over met . Must work on being more positive and try and crush all thoes negative thoughts i cannot change.

thinking i may change him from hotdate to hotmate, sort of makes me chuckle .

Right , going over the edge, onwards to Estepona, the road now looks more like a dirt track than a road and i was hoping no traffic would be coming towards us, as , where the hell was the room for another car. WEll we round bend after bend, we went up, we we went down, All the villages were desserted, we saw on one and than our imaginations kicked in, we went through this town and suddenly we broke down and someone needed to raise the alarm , i was sent to get help (why me, i thought) after an hour, they thought they better check where i was , we never returned to the car ,,,,,,,,, than a car came round corner we screamed lol, i shouted at driver lol, right no more scary talk, concentrate on road, Strange at every bend at bottom , theres a waterfall, so we fell into saying theres a waterfall. 

We passed a closed camping site and so it began again, we imagined a tall man who floated to the entrance and said helllo , welcome , be our guests for the night, if you survive the night, (shame the campsite  looked beautiful next to little river, shame its closed, but how you would find it, may of been the problem). Than the driver needed to relieve himself, we decided 5 minutes and if he is not back we would be off, he was and we were off again and than we saw sign Estepona 5k away, where, all we couls see was hills and hills and now bloody waterfalls.

There we shouted, we saw lights, actual lights, civilisation, it was still there. On a funny note we warned all the cars coming towards us, turn now, do not do it , you may not get out again, and they were all little van cars, strange eh.

It may have lasted hours and at times like we may not get of any of the hills but really enjoyed my Rhonda road trip, 

GET yourself a cuppa and get comfortable, this post going to get nasty and very long, haha, only joking on nasty.

WELL (bloody caps lock), i find myself back on the sabbatical, so think is a good time to review and set some new goals and revisit a list i did a wee while ago.

What happened, i ask myself, and what lesson did i learn this time.

I had a most wonderful few weeks but at the back of my head i knew it was a relatiionship built to not last , however, a friendship formed could be good for both of us. once i get past the tears, chocolate, vodka and self pity, that should be Monday hopefully .

Now , let me review... What did i achieve,  I seem to be able to catch myself a hotdate, ( so must stop thinking otherwise), I hope again as in other (i shall call them fuck ups) i am able to get them to think about the female side of situations, and hopefully put them back on the right track, i seem to be able to get them focussed and this time was no exception i hope. I realised i like being an exhibitionist and will carry that on to my list(will discuss that later on). I did some few new experiences 1 OR 2 of them cannot be written down but mmm , yea, considering wrtiting a book, well, actually started writing book, but it is looking alot like my blog and so may need to rethink it. and also enjoyed my beloved la linea  again.

the list, at the very beginning of my newly singleton, a good friend said, write a list of what you desire and require in a man.

And so i did, can i remember it, hmmm, nope, right going  to see if i still have it, still, hmmm again it seems i have not looked at in a while

just read this,,, AT any given moment you have the POWER to say this is NOT how the story is going to end , oh how apt for me at moment , what a good kick up me ass statement, right off to find that list.

the list found, just really made me laughed.

1), tall between 5"7 - 6ft  2) my ageish 35=49 3) thin or build suits height  4) in a well paid job and top of the ladder, 5)family man 6)likes socialising but also comfy nights on sofa 7) A little bit romantic , IE flowers but not over the top. 8) must make me laugh and good sense of humour 9) own home 10) likes to travel,esp cruising 11) British 12) light brown hair to dark brown 13) well dreesed and well groomed 14) has own car .... thats all , not asking for much and now thanks to hotdate i am adding 15) likes being a exhibitionist.

so in conclusion i have been informed by most of my friends on separate occassions , its now time for that 3 month sabbatical i promised and give them a break from my lovelife woes,  however i cannot shake the bloke who popped in my shop a few weeks ago and gave me his phone number and said give him a call when i am free , or more interestingly the ad i read in the paper for a speed dating event in Marbella, how different, i never done speed dating and as a passing piece of advice from hotdate, keep experiencing new things and the bit about how i have the power, do i . or do i give my most treasured friends a break . now swelled with one more.

If your still reading, not too long after all, if you have stopped reading, well does not matter as you stopped anyway.

 what a funny title, well , it seems that is what i need to write about toniight.

Well the weekend started fairly pleasantly. Went for a chinese, very nice.

Took a roadtrip to a most lovely temple in Malaga. I do love, and enjoy learning about different cultures and ways. So a most enjoyable time listening and watching a , service, i think is the right word,

I find i seem to always hold back, in what i say, what i do and today was no excemption.If only i could of let go and joined in, but a lass i watched and vowed to go back and attempt to join in.

Not sure if i agreed or believed i suppose the religious side, but will investigate further .

Little pop into what also seems a little addiction or fantasy maybe into the world of naturist. yes will find out this summer if i can fully be a exhibitionist, oops i mean naturist.

Now onto the part,i am trying to avoid, the male species, i seem to not understand  them at all. or is it i am very misunderstood, either way i am capable of bringing a perfectly relaxing day to a crashing end. 

How, , if i knew that, it would not of crashed .

I have been able to achieve this past few years a knack of helping guys get back on the right path,been there when there at there lowest, give a female perspective and be a friend when they needed it..

Now , when is it my turn, when is he going to think what is she going through, be in someones thoughts and put me back on the right path and give me a male perspective, that i can understand and most of all be a friend when it looks like i need it. .