Spanish people are renowned for their tolerance and hospitality, but there are some things about the British that they just don’t like, and I’m afraid it’s our own fault. Spain is renowned for cheap booze, but who gets really off their faces and throws up in public? That would be us. You may think our reputation is unfair, but I’ve been watching, and it’s only the British who get obnoxious through drink.
Spaniards start the day with coffee and brandy, and have plenty of wine or beer with lunch. Then they’ll go for tapas and a drink before dinner. Like us, they often drink more than they should. The difference is, when they know they’ve had enough, they’ll go home quietly, sometimes assisted by a stern look from Mama. They generally have too much respect for themselves and their families to cause embarrassment in public.
Another thing they’re not happy with is our dress – or rather, the lack of it. Remember, Spain is a Catholic country. Things have changed since the 1960’s, when Franco’s police would arrest anyone wearing a bikini on Benidorm beach, but they still don’t like the way we peel off as soon as we land at Alicante airport.
On the beach, Spanish men will wear the tiniest of thongs, and their ladies may go topless, but before they reach the promenade, they are covered up. They hate the way Brits walk into restaurants and supermarkets - the men naked from the waist up, and the ladies with a skimpy bikini top and micro shorts. You wouldn’t go into Sainsbury’s dressed like that, so you shouldn’t go into Mercadona half naked either.
It’s got so bad now that many shops, restaurants, bars and supermarkets have put up signs requesting that both ladies and gentlemen wear tops when entering. They shouldn’t have to do that, but I’m glad they do. The thought of sitting on a plastic chair that’s just been sweated on by a Brit with a beer belly is enough to put me off my cava – and that takes some doing, I can tell you.
It’s a question of having respect for your surroundings and dressing appropriately. Recently, we were in an Asian buffet restaurant. The decor was stunning, with crystal chandeliers, and cherry wood tables with glass tops, underneath which were beautiful jade carvings. The restaurant looked and felt exclusive, yet a 3 course buffet meal was only 8 Euro a head. Our party of 4 dressed for the occasion, but we were amazed how many men wore vest tops and Hawaiian shorts. They looked completely out of place.
Try not to go barefoot in the park. The only place the Spanish remove their shoes is on the beach. Even poolside, they leave their flip flops by the steps, ready to step into them as soon as they emerge from the water. And please don’t stretch your arms above your head if a Spaniard is nearby. They think that showing your armpits is - the pits! I’m not sure why; perhaps it’s because the Spanish are so fastidious about personal hygiene. Most feet and armpits, whatever their nationality, will not stand up to public scrutiny.
Finally, the thing that really gets the Spanish goat is our reluctance to learn, or even take a stab at, the Spanish language. And we’re arrogant enough to assume that they should all speak English! Even a hesitant ‘Dos cervezas, por favor’ will earn you the respect of your waiter. More Spaniards than ever can now speak excellent English, but that’s beside the point.
We’re the visitors here, and we should at least try to fit in with the locals. If we do, we can enjoy our time in Spain without upsetting or offending the indigenous population.
