No, this isn't a personal question, but it's something that's bothered me ever since I've been learning Spanish. In many ways, Spanish is much less complicated than English. Think of that wonderful word 'hay' - not the stuff that horses eat, but the Spanish word for 'there is' or 'there are.' That one word does the word of two - it's a sort of BOGOF language offer - and it's the same whether it's singular, plural or a question.
To make up for this, the Spanish have two words which mean 'for.' At first, I wrote 'the Spanish have two words for for,' but that was confusing, so I changed it. If your spelling isn't up to much, you might think i meant two words for 'four,' when of course there's just the one - cuatro.
As I said at the start, I've never been sure which word to use in which circumstances, but our Spanish tutor Alan explained it in his own inimitable fashion. The analogy is Alan's, but I made it sound good by expanding on the story. Mustn't praise him too much, or he'll get above himself, and that would never do.
Just imagine you want to buy a camel for your wife - maybe it's her birthday, or your anniversary, and you're stuck for an idea for a present. By pure coincidence, there's a guy in Lemon Tree Market with a camel for sale, so you know this gift was just meant to be. Here's where it gets tricky.
If you say 'Quiero un camello por mi mujer,' he'll give your wife a good looking over, and maybe check her teeth to see if she's got a few good years left in her, because what you've just said is that you'd like to exchange your wife for a camel. Before you do the transaction, think very carefully - could the camel do everything your wife could do, and a bit more besides, because if the answer is 'no,' it's not a very good swap.
Simply put, 'por' is used for two way traffic. Think 'in exchange for' = 'por.' Most people are familiar with the phrase 'por favor,' which is used to say 'please' in Spanish. You may not think of that as two way traffic, but it is, because when you say 'por favor,' you're asking someone to do something for you. You ask, they agree - or refuse, if they're having a bad day, or they don't like the look of you.
Now, if you say 'Quiero un camello para mi mujer,' the camel seller will come up with a price - once he's told you that this is the best camel on the Costa Blanca, and it breaks his heart to sell it, but he has a wife and 17 kids to feed. On the other hand, the camel may be fit only for the knacker's yard, in which case, it may be better to look for another present for your wife.
