Only Joe King has written recently about mottos and quotes on sugar packets, in pubs and bars, in loos and in the office.
In this third article in the series, he focuses on fridge magnets, T-shirts and the world wide web.
Fridge magnets
Fridge magnets are not just tourist knick-knacks, boasting about where you’ve been, eg “I love Frigiliana”, what you are/were, “Aquí vive un profesor”, or which football team you support, “Aquí vive un hincha del Barça”, it’s also the source of witty sayings, truisms and sound advice:
“SIT LONG
TALK MUCH
AND
LAUGH OFTEN!
“Never go to bed MAD or HUNGRY!”
Warnings:
“¡Hasta el 40 de mayo no te quites el sayo!”
[“Don’t shed your woolly till the 40th May” (ie 9th June, when summer is deemed to start in southern Spain). It is similar to the English expression “Cast ne’er a clout, till may be out” where may, by the way, refers to the blossom, not the month.]
“Quien quita la aceituna antes de enero, deja el aceite en el madero.”
[“If you pick your olives before January, you’re leaving oil in the tree.”]
“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”
„Ich bin nicht kompliziert, sondern eine Herausforderung.“
[I’m not complicated; just a challenge!]
„Widersprich niemals eine Frau. Warte bis sie es selber tut.“
[Never contradict a woman. Wait till she does it herself!]
On a fridge magnet corkscrew:
“WINE improves with age;
I improve with WINE!”
And this witty observation on the passage of time:
“¡OTRA VEZ LUNES!
Menos mal que
el día siguiente a
pasado mañana
ya es la víspera del
VIERNES.”
[“It’s Monday again!
At least
the day after
the day after tomorrow
is the eve of
Friday.”]
T-Shirts
For a long time, T-shirts have been a rich source of (mainly) witty slogans. My friend Paul produces his own. Here are some examples:
Self-promotion:
“Once in a while someone AMAZING comes along …..
and HERE I AM!”
On illness:
“No estoy borracho.
¡Tengo PARKINSON!”
[“I’m not drunk.
I’ve got PARKINSON’S!”]
On xenophobia:
“Je ne suis pas un expat.
IK BEN EEN
VERDOMDE
IMMIGRANT!”
[“I’m not an ex-pat.
I’M AN
EFFING
IMMIGRANT!”]
On beer:
“BEER
n. [biƏ(r)]
A bitter alcoholic drink
also used for blood transfusion.”
“I’m not drunk.
I’m SOCIALLY LUBRICATED!”
“GOD MADE MAN,
MAN MADE BEER,
BELGIANS
MADE IT BETTER!”
World wide web
Lots of people post uplifting messages and slogans on social media, like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
“Para cada minuto que estás enfadado
pierdes 60 segundos de felicidad.”
[“For every minute that you spend angry
you are losing 60 seconds of happiness.”]
“LA VIDA ES
PARA aquellos
QUE ARRIESGAN, NO
para LOS
QUE LA
VEN PASAR.”
[“LIFE IS
FOR those
WHO TAKE RISKS, NOT
for THOSE
WHO JUST WATCH IT
GO BY.”]
An Irish friend of mine is a regular poster. Here are some examples from her repertoire:
Positive, life-affirming:
“This Christmas we don’t need more stuff.
We need more LOVE towards one another.”
“Life is short.
Take the TRIP,
Buy the SHOES.
Eat the CAKE.”
“Stay close to people who feel like sunshine.”
Wry humour:
“You know you’re old when you go to bed at the same time you used to go out!”
“I couldn’t afford an Ancestry DNA kit,
so I just announced that I had won the Lottery.
I soon found out who all my relatives were.”
Poignant:
“Have you ever loved someone so much
that you would have done anything to make them happy
and they just ended up using you …?”
With acknowledgements to:
A1 Photo Archive
Facebook
Freida Maybury
Joe King's fridge doors
Paul Darwent
© Joe King
Tags: A1, Ancestry, Beer, Belgian, Freida Maybury, Facebook, fridge magnet, Joe King, Paul Darwent, Parkinson’s,T-shirt, world wide web, xenophobia