I thought it would be quite good to give some tips for sellers so they could actually prepare their property in Spain for sale. I have actually uttered these words to sellers at some stage in the dim and distant past or they have said them to me in all seriousness. Work out the bits I have said!
As you may be able to imagine none of the properties below got onto my Valencia Property site, apart from the one with the pot bellied pig and cats (It was just so cheap).
So here we go, my top 20 home staging tips for selling your Spanish property.
1) “You are not going to leave that stuffed cat there are you?”
2) “And so you really think that the red velvet wall covering works in this bathroom then?”
3) “No! People in Spanish homes prefer the bed up against the wall on two sides, it’s nothing to do with the size of the room”
4) “Please can you at least hide the decapitated and skinned rabbits that are dripping blood. The clients have three small kids”
5) “What smell of damp?” “Erm the smell of damp coming from the leaking toilet above that has created that huge patch in the ceiling!” “Well I never that has only appeared there today”
6) “You might want to repaint that wall”. “Why?”, “Well it might be great to you but a whole wall full of teenage angst graffiti might not be the preferred look of a potential buyer”.
7) “Oh sh**! You have painted! Stripes! Nice!”
8 ) “And here is the second bathro… sorry! Nobody told us you were there”
9) “You might have mentioned that your son was asleep in the room at the end of the corridor! And please I know it’s hot but encourage him to wear pyjamas and sleep under the covers.”
10) “What do you mean you have decided to raise the price?”. “Well property always goes up and you need to make 5% per year” Yeah but 200 up to 240k is rather more than 5%”.
11) “How long has that food been in the fridge”
12) “It might be a thought to lose the dildo on the bedside table before anyone comes round”
13) “If I couldn’t sell it at 150k how do you think it is suddenly worth 180k?” (Asked in a rising market and incredulous voice)
14) “Some lightbulbs might really help in this interior bathroom”
15) “You really like collecting stuff don’t you! Any chance there could be at least one room we can actually view without having to climb over junk”
16) “You breed cats in six of the eight bedrooms!!!”
and
“Jeez what’s that! (On being nuzzled from behind in a garden by a pot bellied pig. By the way that was the same house as the cats and I was in the garden because my secretary was taking the photos inside as I am allergic)
17) “You might like Marilyn Manson but please take at least half of the posters down”
18) “Well of course it has subsidence the crack starts at the bottom of the wall and by the time it gets to the top it is six inches wide… on both sides of the room”
19) “You know when I put my face next to this wall and look up I can see the sky. That shouldn’t happen in an interior room! How come the rain doesn’t get in.”
20) "The cockroaches are not really a good feature. It might be an idea to brush up the dead ones and set some traps”
Now you know why some properties don’t make it onto my Valencia Property site!