Flying? The safest form of transport!!

Here is an example of a few allegedly true “one-liners” uttered by American flight attendants.

• For those of you who have not ridden in an automobile since 1967 I will now demonstrate how to operate the seat belt.
• In the unlikely event that we need to use the under-seat life jackets or seat cushions, they will be yours to keep.
• We are bringing the beverage/food cart out, please keep your hands, legs, elbows, noses and any other PROTRUDING ORGANS to yourself
• If you’re traveling with a child, or someone who is acting like a child, put the mask over your face first and then put the child’s mask on. If you’re traveling with more than one child, pick your favorite.
• As you may have read in the news yesterday, American Airlines has announced this route will be eliminated. We know you have a choice in air travel and I look forward to seeing you on another airline.