Part 12: How Not to Buy a House

This article should properly come furnished with a warning of the type: “Under no circumstances should you try this at home!” and I would not recommend anybody to follow our route to house ownership. Nevertheless sometimes things just work out.

I first saw our house whilst doing some interpreting for an estate agent, with whom I had become friendly, in Mérida. The clients were a couple from Yorkshire, by way of Northern Ireland and South Africa respectively. We showed them two properties that day. I ended up buying the first one and they ended up buying the second. All in all not a bad day´s work for the estate agent.

As I was translating, I was, at the same time, becoming aware of the potential of this large house in this little village just ten miles from Mérida. The first thing I noticed was the patio, about four hundred square metres of it complete with fig, pear and orange trees. The views over the typical dehesa (meadows studded with either cork or holm oaks) had me waxing quite lyrical until I was not sure if I was trying to convince myself or the people who were the clients on that day.

The second property we saw that day was a large bungalow standing in its own grounds with plenty of room for a swimming pool (a feature it now has) and a good location on a bend of the Guadiana River, about 16 kilometres south of the extremeño capital. It turned out to be ideal for Denis and Janet (the couple previously mentioned) and they and their son, Christopher are now firmly ensconced in what has become a very nice property indeed.

Chery was still living in the UK at this time, but shortly afterwards she came out on one of her periodic visits and came to view the house. The sun was shining, the storks were making that funny noise with their beaks and the figs were beginning to ripen. So that was that then. We had a chat with the bank, arranged a mortgage, dispensed with the services of a lawyer, neglected to have a survey done, and in April of 2005, I signed the papers and the house was ours. One thing I was slightly surprised about was how easy everything had been with the bank. Part of the mortgage package involved my taking out life insurance with them. I was going through some papers the other day and was surprised to find out that, according to the bank, I weigh 85 kilos (perhaps when I was 12), do not drink or smoke and have textbook perfect 120 over 70 blood pressure. Neither have I had any major childhood illnesses, nor have I broken any bones or received any hospital treatment in the last five years. I wish!

The house, as is the case with most houses that are 150 years old, needed some work. In the first instance a new roof would be needed if we were ever to use the upstairs part. The corrugated asbestos sheeting that was originally up there is hardly suitable insulation for the heat of an extremeño summer.

So the builders were contracted and work commenced. Just as things were getting under way, I had to go back to the UK to help Cheryl with the final move. This meant I had to convey instructions over the phone to the builder and/or his team of labourers. I have been involved with the Spanish language in one way or another since 1975, and most people would say I was reasonably fluent. However in telephone conversations with the builder I was able to understand nothing. I was, therefore, more that somewhat relieved to find that, upon our return from the UK, the work had been done according to my instructions. The rigours of our first winter in the house that we baptised Casa Pitánchez ( the house of Pete and Chez!) will have to wait until next time.

Articles in the series:

Introduction to Pete's Tale

Part 1: Village Life

Part 2: Bichos

Part 3: A Two-Bar Town

Part 4: Fruit and Veg

Part 5: Summer

Part 6: Politics

Part 7: Noise

Part 8: Our natural park

Part 9: New Year's Eve

Part 10: Timetables

Part 11: The Land Where the Pig is King

Part 12: How Not to Buy a House

Part 13: That First Winter

Part 14: The Extremeño Spring

Part 15: To be a Pilgrim

Part 16: A Change is Coming

Part 17: Wine Talk

Part 18: Free For All

Part 19: How Do You Spell Asparagus?

Part 20: Designer Peas