Dealing with funerals in UK and living in Spain

Sorry it's a long thread title.

My step mum died in a fire at her house on saturday and the UK police tracked me down and told me by phone.

As I believe I am the nearest surviving relative, I presume I will have to sort out death certificates and funerals and such. Unfortunately all her insurance documents, will, bank details etc have gone in the fire along with nearly all her belongings. Presumably we will have to pay for a funeral for her but I am really not sure where to start.

I think the best thing would be if I could sort everything out from here first and then go over for the funeral and to check through any belongings that are salvageable?

Anyone have this sort of long distance experience that could give me some advice?

She didn't live near us, she was in the Lake District.

Laury

Oh Laury, our condolences, such terrible news for you. I wouldn't know which way to turn either.

I'm so sorry I'm not able to help except to let you know we are thinking of you.

Thanks More.

I don't have a flipping clue where to start. I think maybe the Coroner's office tomorrow as she will be having a post mortem...

So pleased I have Skype set up for calls to UK at only a couple of pounds a month. It's going to earn it's keep.

You have many friends on here, Laury & we are here for you, just holla for us, ok ? I'm on Skype. If you want my Skype name send me a PM.

Hi Laury,

Such terrible news, my sympathies to you.

When I lost my Dad last year I didn't know where to start and I found the funeral directors so helpful with all sorts of information and advice. It may be useful to speak to someone,  they manned the telephones 24/7 and I couldn't have managed the first few days without their help. The weekend makes it worse because you feel as if you should be doing something but can't until Monday. Although I was back in the UK to sort things they did tell me that if I needed to return to Spain they would deal with such a lot for me. I am sure if you call a  firm they will have dealt with similar situations before and have information to give you that would be helpful to you.

Jacqui

Thanks Jacqui and More.

Perhaps the Coroner tomorrow could give me some names of local Funeral directors?

The house is all boarded up according to the police and whatever isn't burnt has been badly smoke damaged. They said there was no reason for me to go rushing over.

Laury

Hi Laury,

What alwful news please accept our condolences, yes agree with the other post's Funeral Director;s are very good nowdays.

Does she have any friends she might have confided in do you know?  If she has no family she might have talked to them or not as the case might be, some people do not want to face it.

Yes you are right the Coroner's office is a good place to start if there is a port mortem that will give you a bit more time.

Was she very old Laury?   Did she belong to any groups locally?

Well take care keep us posted it will help you as well.

   Pat   

Laury, thinking of you, this must have been horrendous, hope you manage to get things sorted, I would have advised the funeral directors like others as they are very helpful and know what they are doing.

Our deepest sympathy to you and your family.

Laury

sorry to hear of your bad news,

you may wish to try the following

a) identify if your stepmother had a financial adviser (as he/she would have copies of a lot of things)-you may try to do this via

i) next door neighbours/ friends

ii) telephone numbers stored in / if applicable your stepmothers mobile phone/ house phone

iii) contacting local insurers -you would need to provide your stepmothers date of birth and address.

iv) notice in the local paper (they tend to place these for no charge)

wishing you luck

So sorry to hear your sad news. 

Do you know what bank she was with?  They may have copies of documents including a will, and also they could check her bank statements to see if she was paying insurances etc.

Thinking of you.

Sue

My thoughts are with you Laury at this very sad and difficult time.Your situation moved me so much as I have had a bad couple of years and a lot of arranging of funerals  etc to do recently

I think you have been given very good advice already but in my experience finding a a good funeral director is the most valuable thing .The funeral director helped me through every stage and pointed me in the right direction to  find out if  there was a  family burial plot to finding out if there was a will or insurance policies  and even advising as to whether I was entitled to  state help with costs  etc. They were worth there weight in gold and saw me and my family through a very bad time .I think if you don't know the area the  coroner will suggest a firm who is sure to be reputable . Good luck

Thanks for the advice and good wishes everyone.

No call from the Coroner so i'll hang fire for a while. I couldn't fly over at the moment even if I wanted to. Hubby is unable to get to London for work.

My stepmum won't have had a financila advisor. She had no money and lived in a rented country cottage for over 40 years.  The money that she did have saved was hidden in the house along with her documents.

She told me where to find everything in the event of her passing... but of course a fire like this was totally unexpected.  Which means that the telephone and address books etc are totally destroyed. The police told me that it was a fierce fire but the outside walls are still standing.

There was a carer every day and a couple of neighbour/friends who looked out for her and I asked the police to give me their names if they could or to pass on my info to them. They had my details back in Paignton because they rang me when my stepmum fell and broke her ankle..

Laury

I'm really sorry to hear of your loss.

I would advise you to contact the Benefits Agency.  If your stepmum was a pensioner they will be able to help with some of the info you need but will require a copy of the interim death certificate that the coroner will issue to you prior to any inquest.  If she was on guaranteed credit you may be able to get help with the funeral costs, again the Benefits Agency will advise you. If you contact her local council revenues office (council Tax) they also may be able to help with info.

The Coroner will have authority to get some personal info and I'm sure they will advise you.

Oh thank you.  That's good to know. Would it be the central benefits agency, do you know?

Hopefully the post mortem will be done tomorrow and I will be able to get things moving. The Coroner and benefits and funeral director should be able to sort quite a bit for me by the sound of things and then I can fly over for the funeral and to check any belongings that may be left.

Just need to kennel the dog. She's never been kennelled so that will be fun.

Laury

Laury

so sorry to hear of your loss.

Don't know if its of any help but when my step father died he had a policy with Prudential, I think a lot of people in his situation did as the agent called round every week/month to collect the premium. When I rang them about the policy I knew he had they also told me of another he had taken out when his first wife was alive. They paid out on both. I know you can't ring all the insurance companies - but they might be worth a try.

I couldn't get any help with funeral costs even though he lived in a council house and only had his state pension because I wasn't on any benefits, but the funeral directors were really helpful, after all they deal with this all the time.

Take Care

Your point about Prudential is a good one. I remember the man from the Pru calling on Friday nights when I was young. Most people seemed to be with them.

Interesting about funeral costs. We haven't a prayer then as we are not on benefits. Looks as though we will have to find a couple of thousand unless we sort out insurances.

Thanks for the info.

Laury

Hi Laury,

The Co-op is another one to check out a lot of older people used to have them come round as well.

It's a shame there is not a database with all this information on.   Do you know if she had her documents in a metal case, that might have withstood the fire.

Take care Pat 

Co op is good too.

All her documents were carefully kept in a briefcase to make it easy for me if anything happened.

Still heard nothing from the coroner. I suppose he could be running late because of the weather?

Laury