Two Men And A Rover 400

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30 Sep 2010 00:00 by luton town Star rating in Gran Alacant Costa B.... 37 posts Send private message

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Hi this is a true short story (well sort of short) of my journey home earlier this year from Spain ...we were due to fly but due to the ash cloud we took a gamble ...lol

The story went to print in a couple of mags in the U.K and Spain ...hope you enjoy ...we had the time of our lives...i will post in sections over the next few days

Two Men And A Rover 4OO

I have just returned from Spain by car total miles 1500 door to door and i have to say we had the time of our lives…the car is an old Rover 400 and i have to say did us proud heaving us along the motorways for two solid days …we laughed so much i felt i must tell our story ….but in Chapter One i must thank the the many new friends i have made in Gran Alacant over the last week with canceled flights and money running out for many people a great community spirit evolved not just from the Brits but from many nations ……with little help from airlines and Governments alike meetings sprung up all over the place where everyone was helping each other and exchanging notes…….

CHAPTER TWO
Having two flights canceled i thought it was time to bring our Rover 400 out of it,s semi-retirement ….it,s many trips to the beach had left the poor old car some what heavier that it was ….sand on the floor and in the boot we felt gave the car character so we left it in …although we did brush the seats down.
It was decided that i would drive and take a lady friend of ours who,s medication had run out and my young son and my sons friend who had come on holiday with us…..they were told to travel light due to the fact the car was already over weight from the sand ….this left one seat in the car spare ….who will take that seat????…

CHAPTER THREE
Well we had one free seat in the car and i set about asking around to see if anybody wanted the spare place …well up stepped Mike Cook who lives just a few houses away from me in Spain …Mike had spent a couple of nights in our company in particular the Hot Chocolate night at Los Belgas…..he had just spent 300euros on a coach back to England which surprise surprise did not turn up ….in fact nor has his refund they promised him (watch out for that one)
Mike is a sales Manager for Mercedes-Benz of Southampton so i thought he was the ideal man to be my co-driver as the Rover and Mercedes cars are very alike ….turns out Mike prefers B.M.W cars so i was a little out on that one.

CHAPTER FOUR
OK 9am on the day of departure from Gran Alacant and my wife and little girl came out to wave us off……bags soon covered the evidence of sand deposits in the boot which seemed to give us a little more confidence (no idea why really)……but the newly found confidence was soon shattered by my Spanish friend from across the road who had come out to see what was all the commotion was about …….i explained to him in my much improved Spanish that we were driving to England in my ROVER 400 he looked at the car,then me and shook my hand laughed and then proceeded to run his finger across his throat “he with little confidence ” i thought to myself………….this did not worry me .
What i saw next worried me……Mike my newly found co. driver was stood at the top of his steps with the biggest piece of fricken hand luggage i have ever seen …..I looked at Mike and then the car and found the need for a toilet (fast) Mike asked my wife was i worried she said “no it,s an age thing”…..she was lying …….yep i was worried.
The street soon filled with people waving us off …..and at 9.10 am we started the car …..and blow me she started up at this point i knew we had reached the point of no return we were on our way.

More tomorrow





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30 Sep 2010 12:38 by FibbyUK Star rating in UK, Surrey & Playa F.... 2418 posts Send private message

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 I too was stuck in Spain because of the ash cloud.

We are near you in Playa  Flamenca.

Lots of people around us were going to travel by car (madness!) and it is great to read about your journey.

Us? We lazed about and waited for the next available flight. 

Looking forward to your continuation tomorrow!



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30 Sep 2010 19:23 by luton town Star rating in Gran Alacant Costa B.... 37 posts Send private message

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Thanks Fibby......Madness ...oh yes......will post more tonight

 

Luton





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30 Sep 2010 20:29 by luton town Star rating in Gran Alacant Costa B.... 37 posts Send private message

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Part Two

CHAPTER FIVE
Although we had known Mike for a while the thought of traveling such a long distance with a relative stranger did worry me a little …..we need not have worried Mike turned out to be a lovely man ….as we got to Max Coop supermarket he turned round and asked or the children “are we there yet?”……..we were still laughing when as we reached the roundabout by the n332 a Spanish driver nearly took us out with the world famous Spanish roundabout trick we all know so well (enter the roundabout without indicating ..change lanes on the roundabout ..overtake on the roundabout and then exit without indicating)…having driven in Spain for some years now i used the classic defensive move of closing my eyes and hoping for the best (always works).
I drove for the first hundred miles taking us past Alicante and Benidorm ….i think Alicante is a lovely city but the outskirts looks poor and shabby viewing it at speed is the best option Benidorm looks tidy for a holiday resort with rolling green hills behind it….we stopped shortly after for a pants check the thought of that roundabout manouver still fresh in our minds if not our trousers.
Changing drivers Mike took to the wheel noticing the many dead insects that had already hurled themselves at our windscreen he reached for the windscreen washer …i shouted “don,t press that it does,nt work” alas it was too late ;yes water did hit the windscreen but the Rover 400 is well known for the in-ability of its windscreen wipers to come into contact fully with the windscreen ….what a mess!!!..it had soon become apparent that Mike had much to learn about the Rover 400.
below a picture of Mike with the car.

CHAPTER SIX
Mike i know was struggling to come to terms with the gulf between the Rover and the usual car of his choice …..he often mentioned how handy it would be to have cruise control on such a long trip ……these things are sent to try us my suggestion of placing a brick on the gas pedal as a form of cruise control got a blank look at first (he knew i was joking)i think?
I thought it was time to break the news to him that at 65000 miles i was worried about the cambelt situation ….he replied “what about the cambelt”…..i did not reply for a while as we were approaching Valencia and i felt as the driver Mike needed no further worries…..but the Rover 400 had a secret …a secret that would have every Spanish driver quaking in his boots …..the dummy break pedal

CHAPTER SEVEN …THE WHITES OF THEIR EYES
After Valencia we settled down to the long stretch towards the wonders of Barcelona something the children were looking forward to …the problem with motorway driving in Spain is the manhood extension four wheel drive drivers who have the art of coming within inches of your rear bumper (why do they do that) anyhow it,s a pet hate of mine and many years ago while the Rover was still in England we had inline switch put in that would illuminate the break lights at the flick of a switch (legal) i don,t think so..but it has it,s uses….on this trip it came into it,s own …..many times a manhood extender would approach only for me to flick a switch ……you could see the whites of their eyes and sometimes even the attempt to move their faces away from their windscreen.ok ok…bad of me (un-lucky).
Many from Gran Alacant and from England were tracking us.. many i know had their doubts on the long trip reaching it,s conclusion my mobile phone never stopped ringing and this was to get me in trouble

More Tomorrow





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06 Oct 2010 08:41 by FibbyUK Star rating in UK, Surrey & Playa F.... 2418 posts Send private message

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 Come on!

Where's the next chapter?

I was enjoying this!



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06 Oct 2010 14:11 by luton town Star rating in Gran Alacant Costa B.... 37 posts Send private message

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Sorry it wont let me copy and paste it on here.....tried 20 times today ....kepps signing me out

Luton





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06 Oct 2010 14:18 by FibbyUK Star rating in UK, Surrey & Playa F.... 2418 posts Send private message

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 That's a shame!

Come on Justin, help out here, we need to see what happens next!



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06 Oct 2010 14:26 by EOS Team Star rating in In Spain of course!. 4354 posts Send private message

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The only reason it would log you out automatically is if you were trying to paste content that includes swear words. 

Maybe just check to see if there are any words in there that would trigger our filter and change them to something a little less "naughty".

Justin



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06 Oct 2010 15:42 by steve and anita Star rating in in San Cayetano. 327 posts Send private message

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Oh Bother, was looking forward to the next installment.





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06 Oct 2010 16:54 by Flybynight Star rating. 61 posts Send private message

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Bugger, so was I!

(I'm not permitted to add a smiley that winks either, boo hoo!)

Edited to ask Justin: When CAN I add a smiley please, seems crazy I can't add an EOS smiley. 



This message was last edited by Flybynight on 06/10/2010.



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06 Oct 2010 17:16 by FibbyUK Star rating in UK, Surrey & Playa F.... 2418 posts Send private message

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What, one like this ha ha!

And how come your post got through the net nanny with that swear word in?!!!

 !!!!!!! 



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06 Oct 2010 21:45 by luton town Star rating in Gran Alacant Costa B.... 37 posts Send private message

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Sorry Guys tried all night again.........lost the will to live......will send to the boss by pm ....and see if he can post it

Cheers Luton





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07 Oct 2010 00:31 by EOS Team Star rating in In Spain of course!. 4354 posts Send private message

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Posting for Luton (by the way, it looks like we don't like the word s h i t e ):

 

As the miles passed the the constant phoning by family and friends became a problem…yes they were worried and i understood that …the problem was my ringtone…my 24 year old son had installed a naughty ringtone (female orgasm) some weeks before and could i frick get it off…..Mike was driving the first time it went off and did his best not to start laughing but alas it was too late…how we did not crash God only knows….Mike said later that day once he regained his composure “that bloody ring tone of yours is going to get you in trouble”….and many miles down the line he was to be proved correct.

Barcelona was just 100 miles away and we passed Reus airport …now this is the airport that Ryan Air claim is in Barcelona….but when booking a flight to Reus airport please put to the back of your mind the thought of coming out of the terminal building and hailing a taxi ..to start with there are know taxis and if there were it would cost you a load of money.

OK …one hour after Reus (note the sarcasm) we came into Barcelona and what a lovely city it is …in fact we were to see more of it than intended.

CHAPTER NINE


As we entered the lovely city of Barcelona we had fantastic views of the olympic village on our left and some great close up views of some huge cruise liners to our right the only problem with that is the olympic village should have been on our right and we should have been nowhere near the sea never mind a cruise liner (we were lost) well mike was lost he was driving!!!

Not wanting to panic Mike anymore than he already was on this trip i thought it best to keep the truth from him….we then reached our first traffic jam and the screaming engine fell silent (don,t panic Rover 400 fans she was just ticking over) the silence was broken by my mobile phone yep (female orgasm ring tone again) ..in a vain effort to shut the bloody thing up before i caused any more distress to our female passenger (pauline) i answered it as soon as i could it was my wife “were ok just a little lost in Barcelona i will ring you back as soon as i can ” i said …as i put the phone away in my pocket i looked across to Mike who was looking at me and he looked less than happy “you just said were lost ” he said …..”no no no your driving,your lost” i said.. .with the traffic moving again he turned round and began to drive again laughing and muttering something about my ring tone getting us arrested one of these days.

 

P.S. flybynight a couple more posts will do it



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07 Oct 2010 01:02 by morerosado Star rating in Guardamar del Segura.... 7700 posts Send private message

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I couldn't help but post to say this is a brilliant story, very hilarious. I'm loving it & all the videos you're making too, Luton.

I also thought your story about Father makes five a terrific read.  

Right, back to what I WAS doing.

Regards to all who know me.


 



This message was last edited by morerosado on 07/10/2010.

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07 Oct 2010 11:29 by ******** Star rating in UK & Murcia. 571 posts Send private message

Great story Luton - keep it coming. 

 It must be good to get More out of her 'retirement' from the forum.  Good to see you More - welcome back! 



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07 Oct 2010 23:23 by luton town Star rating in Gran Alacant Costa B.... 37 posts Send private message

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CHAPTER TEN …the land of frogs legs and snails
Taking over the driving and the Spanish/french border we were to receive news that would threaten the whole trip …Derek (hollis) on the Gran Alacant plaza (a local forum )had posted about sharing a car back to England only to be told that it is in fact against the law for a British national to drive a Spanish registered car in the U.K…..prior to leaving i had checked and double checked with my insurer that the trip would be legal….What the hell was going on? who was right and who was wrong?……was there any way out of this situation?
Tomorrow ….now that would be telling

CHAPTER ELEVEN….the reprieve

Well while waiting at a motorway station close to the french border the news came through that in fact we could proceed with our journey…..although Mike said he was less than happy to proceed unless i sorted my fricken ring tone out….why could we proceed well it turns out my insurance company were correct i could indeed drive a Spanish plated car in the United Kingdom due to the fact i have employment in a E.U state other than the United Kingdom….but this part of the story was to have a final amusing twist later in the story ….well the French/Spanish border lay before us and as we climbed towards it the countryside was green and lush…..expecting to be stopped we collected our passports together and turned my phone onto silent (i just knew it would ring if i did,nt) only to be waved through by border control we were in France.

more Tomorrow





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08 Oct 2010 00:06 by Flybynight Star rating. 61 posts Send private message

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Absolutely brilliant reading Luton, I must confess I've read the full 20 chapters now in another forum

EOS members will lurve it!





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08 Oct 2010 00:09 by luton town Star rating in Gran Alacant Costa B.... 37 posts Send private message

08 Oct 2010 00:11 by Flybynight Star rating. 61 posts Send private message

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Yeah!

Hey look, my 1st smiley!
 



This message was last edited by Flybynight on 08/10/2010.



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08 Oct 2010 00:20 by FibbyUK Star rating in UK, Surrey & Playa F.... 2418 posts Send private message

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 you are just showing off flybynight!

but good news!

another great read lutontown!



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