The Do’s and Don’ts of being a Good Guest in Spain
DO ask us if it is ok for you to come over BEFORE you book your flight. If we say we are busy or only have a few days spare, TAKE THE HINT.
DO think back to the past. If when we lived in the UK we only used to come see you once per year on boxing day, we are unlikely to want you to come and visit us for 2 weeks in SPAIN.
DO book your flight to OUR nearest airport, not the one that is saving you a few quid.
DO ask us if we would like anything brought over when you come.
DON’T ask for any money for the above and if we offer you money for it, DON’T accept it.
DO book a hire car for the total time of your stay. We may have one or even two cars but this is because we need them and not for your convenience. Also, please remember that the majority of us did not move to Spain to become tea total TAXI DRIVERS.
DO book your own accommodation. We have moved here to a house that is big enough for us, and is not designed to be a HOTEL. We may have a second property in Spain but this was bought as an investment (well supposedly), and we have to pay mortgages, rates, gas, electric, water etc etc. We may allow you to stay there as long as it is available and you are willing to pay a rent for it.
Do leave the accommodation you use at least as clean and tidy as when you arrived and replace everything you have used with the same or indeed better.
DO remember that although you have saved up all year for your one weeks spending money and now have 1000e to spend it doesn’t mean we have the same to spend as well.
DON’T expect us to go out every night. We are living here, probably on a Pension or we are working for less than we used to earn in the UK.
DO remember that when we were in the UK we used to go out at most once or twice per week, it is the same here. There is one exception to this and that is if YOU are willing to pay for everything when we go out.
DO offer to pay for at least 3 full meals per week at a nice restaurant.
DON’T expect us to pay for anything more than our fair share on the nights we do go out.
DO go out on your own during the day. If we are working, we do not want to come home to find you have stayed in all day eating and drinking our provisions waiting for us to come home to ENTERTAIN you or COOK for you.
DO remember we have been at work all day and may need just to sit in front of the TV on our own, in our undies and have a nice cool beer.
DO remember it is our TV in our house, and the fact that you usually watch Strictly Come Dancing when we usually watch the X-Factor means we will watch the X-Factor.
DON’T sit there telling us how good everything is in the UK, if you really think that, don’t come here in the first place.
DO go to the supermarket whilst you are here to replace the beers you have consumed whilst sitting around our swimming pool. Although the supermarkets may be full of people speaking a funny language (its called Spanish), the beers are usually quite easy to spot and the till will show how much you have to pay. If this proves too difficult there are now several UK supermarkets in Spain.
DO remember that if we do go out for a meal it may be a Spanish Restaurant and they may not have LANCASHIRE HOT POT, PIE AND MASH or SCOUSE on the Menu.
DON’T forget you are in Spain and that the Restaurants often don’t open until 8pm in the evening. If you or your children cannot adapt to this it may mean you have to go to MACDONALDS on your own.
DO apply at least factor 15 suntan cream every time you go in the sun. We don’t want to spend all day in at the nearest medical centre waiting for you to be treated for SUNSTROKE.
DO remember we have to live here when you are gone and so
DON’T insult the locals or our neighbours.
DON’T go to the beach in a THONG.
DON’T sing football songs at 2 in the morning etc
DON’T think that because you have been over once you can come whenever you like in the future.
DO tell us how grateful you are for the holiday.
DO buy us a nice gift.
DON’T tell us it was the best holiday you have ever had because you hardly spent and money and are taking home half your spending money.
DO have a safe trip home.